A Road To Azlan's Heart (Azlan's Heart Sequel)

Kabanata 4

Conquer

"Take care, bitch. And please eat at the right time. Hindi ko gugustuhing malaman na sa susunod naming dalaw ay sa mental hospital. Geez, you know My King can't be seen in such places, especially that he is visiting a woman. Baka akalain ng media ay kabit ka niya," sunod-sunod na sabi ni V. Her face got wrinkled, by just thinking about it.

Nandito kami sa waiting area ng airport habang inaasikaso ni Canix ang ticket nilang dalawa. They plan to travel like a normal couple. Kaya hindi nila ginamit ang pribado nilang eroplano para sa alis nilang ito kahit kailangan iyon para walang manggulo sa kanila. But, they are both hardheaded. Lalo na si V.

Kahit mas matanda ako rito ay mas bukas naman ito sa sasabihin niya. I totally admire her for being that brave. Minsan ay naiisip ko na sana ay pareho kami ng personalidad. I wish that like her, I am strong and not fragile. Dahil palagi na lang na  inihaharap ko ang sarili ko sa iba, na may malakas na maskara kahit sa likod niyon ay puno ng luha kong mga mata.

"I knew that look..." she trailed off.

Ngumiti lang ako at nagkibit-balikat. I then look away as I took a deep breath. Afraid to show my weakness in front of anybody.

Dahil kahit noon ay nasasabi ko lamang ang lahat sa likod ng isipan ko. I can only answer them through my mind but I can never voice it out. So in the end, no one really knows how hard it is for me until they see me crumbling down. Pero kahit ganoon, kahit nakita nila akong nakalugmok na ay wala pa rin silang ginawa. I can't still show them the real me because I know judgement is all that I will receive.

"It is hard. Sobrang-sobra. Pero tandaan mo na darating din ang araw na may isang tao na darating sa buhay mo kung saan hindi mo na kailangan pang magtago. Where in he will understand what's behind your silence even if you give him a tender smile. Someday, someone will help you stand up to give you a hand. Someone who can be your partner-in-crime in a legal way. Sa ngayon ay magtiis ka muna, hm? I admit I got jealous with you when Canix meet you before in a restaurant for a talk. I thought that the two of you was a thing, but when he told me the real score... I just can't believe it." Mahina niya pang ikinumpas ang kamay niya sa ere sa eleganteng paraan nang harapin ko siya ulit pagkatapos kalmahin ang sarili ko. She then hold my hand gently with a smile on her face.

"I know that when everyone will know about it, they will judge you, but I... that time, I understood your situation. It was the first time that I felt sympathy for someone even if you don't need it. I... admire you so much for that, Ayshia. Even if you aren't strong, brave, had a tongue like mine, but you keep going. It was something that not everyone can do even if they are courageous enough to face life. And I am so thankful that I meet you today. Kaya sana, kung ano mang gumugulo sa isipan mo ay huwag mong hayaan na talunin ka. You weren't defeated yesterday, even once, so will it be today until tomorrow."

Hindi ko alam kung anong mayroon sa sinabi nito pero may pumatak na luha sa mga mata ko na agad kong pinunasan. I didn't utter any word when she hugged me tightly, silently giving me her support.

No one, in this world can dictate someone else's life. However, it is more difficult when your enemy is what you see in the mirror. I know that I can be who I am, but my number one hater was always there inside me. And instead of giving me its support, it hide or mock me because it's afraid of failure. I am afraid to fail.

"We'll visit you next month. Kailangan ay maayos na ang lagay mo rito, Ayshia, kung hindi ay magpapadala ako ng mga guwardya. I can't let you stay in that apartment all alone, especially that Kuya Kian is not yet back from wherever he is right now. Magpapadala ako ng tao linggo-linggo para may tumingin sa iyo--"

"Titignan ka rin niyon kung buhay ka pa ba o nagpakamatay na. But please, refrain yourself from doing the latter. Hindi ka magiging magandang halimbawa sa mga kabataan kapag nagkataon.  Also, your title will be ruin if you do that," putol ni V sa ibang sasabihin ng asawa. Umirap pa ito sa hangin habang naka-krus ang braso sa harap ng dibdib niya.