A Road To Azlan's Heart (Azlan's Heart Sequel)

Kabanata 26

West Wind

If I were asked before if I could see myself loving someone so deep in the future, I would definitely say no. Even if I was a believer of fairytale and happy endings, it wouldn't change the fact that I was dying. I'd say, I'm hopeless. Because loving someone and having a happy ending on my own was my greatest dream, yet, at the same time, I am also doubtful.

Sino ba naman ako para mabigyan ng ganoong kasiyahan, hindi ba? Sino ako para magkaroon ng taong magmamahal sa akin? I was always that hardheaded brat of the Montreals. No one could bend my own beliefs. Not until someone came.

A jerk named Azlan Zephyrus.

He was that certain obstacle I needed to overcome. I just never thought that it was so hard, that I just saw myself doing the opposite things I promise to never do. Ang rami ring nangyari sa buhay naming dalawa pero heto, at sa braso ng isa't isa pa rin pala kami dadalhin ng tadhana. Sa isa't isa pa rin pala namin matatagpuan ang kasiyahan naming dalawa.

I felt him kissed my head. Hindi ko mabilang kung pang-ilang ulit na iyon, pero nanatili lamang akong tahimik habang nakatingin sa dagat na nasa harapan naming dalawa. Banayad ang bawat paghinga namin na tila ba lahat nang nangyayari ay panaginip lang. That every touch, kiss and words we say right now are not real. That these feelings are just illusions I wanted to keep in this lifetime.

"What are you thinking?" mahina niyang tanong. Ang braso niyang nakapulupot sa akin ay marahang humigpit.

Sakto lang para makahinga pa rin ako at makaramdam nang kapayapaan. The bed in his room was still wet even with the new bedsheets so we decided to go outside. Mayroon siyang hammock doon kaya roon namin pinagkasya ang isa't isa.

"I'm still doubting if whatever that's happening between us is a dream or not..." I voiced out softly.

Inangat ko ang tingin sa kaniya na ngayon ay nakatungo na pala sa akin. He smiled. He lifted up his right hand put the strands of hair covering my face behind my ear.

"Me too. After all, you were always just a dream of mine. Ang pinagkaiba lang siguro ay blurred ka roon at minsan ay nakatalikod. I was always curious about your face. Why my heart beats so fast every time you laugh, call my name or even just be there... I never realized that I wanted to sleep so badly because I know you'll be there... I'll have you there, in that dream, miss..." I fought back the tears wanting to fell from my eyes. Inabot ko ang pisngi niya at hinaplos iyon. He purred with my touch, leaning his cheek more to my palm.

"You have dreamed of me? Pinagloloko mo ba ako, Azlan? Are you telling that because--" He opened his eyes and a gasp escaped from my lips when he caught my hand on his cheek. He then brought my palm to his lips, kissing it with so much affection.

Parang may kung anong kumirot sa dibdib ko kahit sobrang-sobra ang pagmamahal na ipinaparamdam niya sa akin dahil sa ginawa. I always thought before that he is the only one who can make me feel such intense emotion. Because of that reason, I was scared. I was scared of him because I might end up dying, may not be psychically but emotionally.

And it did happen. When I lost him, when Lezzana told me that he doesn't want me to be alone so a part of him stayed made me so ruined. I wanted to beg so much. I denied it so badly. Kasi kung alam niyang ayaw kong malungkot na nag-iisa ay dapat hindi niya ako iniwan. Sana hindi niya iyon ginawa. I'd rather have my life on the line than losing him. That's the only love I knew I could offer.

So when he died, a part of me also left along with him.

"I dream of you. Every. N-Night." It was delivered as a whisper. It was such a silent voice, but it reached my ears. I noticed how his tone crack at the end of it.