A Road To Azlan's Heart (Azlan's Heart Sequel)

Kabanata 7

Future

Pinagpag ko ang kamay ko bago naupo sa buhangin. Ang buong katawan ko ay nakaharap sa malawak na karagatan. I then rested my head at my knee while sadly staring at the vast ocean.

Hindi ako makatulog. I can't seem to sleep while thinking that we are just in the same place yet I can't do anything about it. They both stayed in the resort and I was again, facing another chaos. Parang sa kada araw na nanatili ako rito sa Pilipinas ay maraming kasinungalingan akong nalalaman.

"F-Fortalejo?" I stuttered a bit, but composed myself when he nodded at me with a smile on his face. There is confusion in his orbs while staring back at me.

Agad akong nag-iwas nang tingin dito. Palihim akong lumunok habang tinatago rin ang paghinga ko nang malalim. Dahil kung hindi ko iyon gagawin ay alam kong babagsak ako.

I was overthinking things out before when I learned that he was alive. Anong gagawin ko kapag nagkita kami? Anong una kong sasabihin sa kaniya? Will I ask him if he is alright? Would I apologize for every thing that happened in the past? O makapagsasalita man lang ba ako? And yet, now that it is happening, I got nothing to do but asked him while stuttering.

"Yes. Do you know my family name? My mother was in Moskva, Moscow ever since she married my father so I didn't know that she is kind of known in here." Umawang ang labi ko sa sinabi nito.

Mabilis din akong nag-angat nang tingin. I cleared my throat. I opened my mouth to ask again even if I know that the people around us were looking at me weirdly.

"Who is your mother? Baka kasi kakilala niya ang kilala kong Fortalejo." Lie. I am lying, but I am so confused.

Bakit parang ibang ina ang sinasabi niya? Isn't he the Azlan I know? May kakambal ba si Azlan na hindi ko alam? May anak bang iba si Tita Anemone na itinatago niya sa amin? Because I damn well knew that this man in front of me is the same man who gives me chills in my stomach when I was still teenager, and yet he has a different surname.

"Ruth Anna Fortalejo, Miss Montreal. My father is Cristiano Fortalejo."

"Why are you here?" Umangat ang tingin ko sa nagsalita at halos kapusin ako nang hangin sa baga ko pagkakita sa kaniya.

He offered me a soft smile then glanced at the sea in front of us. Hindi rin nagtagal ay bumalik ang tingin niya sa akin na naging dahilan para iiwas ko sa kaniya ang nangungulila kong mga mata.

Gusto ko siyang hawakan, o kahit mayakap man lang ng isang beses pero alam kong hindi puwede. Wala na akong karapatan pa na gawin iyon. Gulong-gulo na ang buo kong pagkatao sa nangyayari sa buhay namin.

Is it possible, tho? That the reason why he was gone was because his memory got lost. At puwede bang umasa pa nang isang posibilidad? Na kaya siya nandito ay dahil alam niyang may kulang? Na kaya siya nandito ay dahil hindi lamang sa kasal niya kung hindi dahil sa rason na nandito ako?

How I wish.

"Hindi ka ba nilalamig, Miss Montreal? The wind tonight seems harsher than usual. Parang may dinadaramdam ang hangin sa bawat hampas nito." Pumuno sa kasuluk-sulukan ko ang boses niya na hindi ko narinig sa ilang taon na ang ginawa ko lang ay panaginipan siya.

My dreams were my anchor. That even if it was just a hallucination, that even if there's pain every time I wake up, it would still keep me going. Because I know he is there for me. Dahil alam kong hindi niya ako iiwan, na hindi niya gugustuhing ilugmok ko ang sarili ko. Pero ngayon ay naisip ko na kung ayaw niyang malugmok ako ay sana nagpakita siya.

Sana siya na mismo ang nagsabi sa akin na huwag ko na siyang hanapin pa.

"Sanay ako sa ganitong panahon. It happens all the time with me. Ikaw ba? Bakit ka nandito? Where is your fiancée?" I asked. I hugged my knees closer to myself as I decided to look at my front instead of him.