angel baby (heavy editing)

37.0

     Chris's room was...pretty. Like the rest of the house, dull colors were used. He had quickly realized that Chris had a crazy sensitivity to bright colors but that sentiments didn't extend to when he used said bright colors to paint. It was weird but what did Oliver know? Oliver was also quickly realizing that saying Chris's mannerism was weird could make him seem like an ableist, at least on a public perspective. Though he didn't mean anything by it and though he wasn't necessarily a good person, he didn't want to be an asshole on top of everything. Well, more of an asshole. Though Oliver had been in their home for a few days, this was the first time he'd been in Chris's personal space. He had tried to initiate a conversation before but everytime, Chris either sat on his hammock or stay in the garage where his art supplies were. He watched the boy sit on his bed cuddling a stuffed animal and he immediately guessed that was Mr cubs. He had thought Mr cubs was a pet animal or something but it would be hypocritical of him to make fun of Chris for having a stuffed animal at his big age when he wouldn't be able to sleep without his special blanket.
He continued studying Chris who was staring into space. Chris was a ticking time bomb, no lie about that. It wasn't normal for someone who should be in mourning to not cry for four whole days. He had seen him in the ambulance when Kathy was rushed to the hospital. The cries and snort we're almost enough for him to break a tear. He was in denial. Maybe a part of his mind knows that Kathy is dead but a bigger part of it genuinely believes she's still alive. And that was scary.
"Where can I sit?" He asked breaking the silence. It was almost choking. He could easily sit on the desk chair that was a few feet away but this was Chris's territory and he didn't want to provoke him but what if it was provocation he needed? Maybe he needed a push that would make him mourn like a normal person.
Instead of answering his question he said, "Kathy was never been late, not even once. It's so unlike her"
Now Oliver was almost regretting he offered to follow him.
Taking a deep breathe, he moved towards his twin sized bed. He stopped and hesitated when he was close enough to sit watching Chris whether he would interrupt or not. When he didn't after a few seconds, he took his seat at the very edge of the bed.
"What did you do today?"
What he actually wanted to say was "what do you think you did today?"
"I woke up, ate pop tarts for breakfast, went to  the burial and came back home"
Oliver swallowed painfully. He wasn't even close to Kathy but her death hit him hard. He almost didn't want to be there for Chris's freak out when it finally hit him that he was never going to see Kathy again.
Fuck, that cut deep.
"Whose burial did you attend?"
He looked confused for a moment, "uh, Kathy's"
Oliver was confused but not really. Chris did know but he didn't know.
"Do you understand that? Kathy was buried today. She passed away a few days ago"
The look of fear that appeared on Chris's face almost made him wish he hadn't said anything. But it needed to be said.
"B-But" his voice broke at that word.
Fuck.
Oliver could feel imminent break down approaching.
"We went to school together. I saw her"
I know. Fuck. I know.
A semblance of a tear slipped from Chris's eyes. He opened his mouth to speak then closed it again when words didn't come forth.
"Kathy, she- I"
"Kathy is dead"
Chris shook his head slowly.
"Where is Kathy? I need to see her"
Chris suddenly stood from his bed proceeding to run out of the room. It happened so fast that Oliver almost didn't catch up to him before he opened the door but he did.
"Chris, hey hey hey"
He held his arm before he could move any further.
"Where is Kathy?" He turned to face him. "Where is Kathy?"
The pure unadulterated fear in his eyes shook Oliver to the core. He couldn't do this.
Chris tangled his hand in his hair his eyes lost in space as if he was thinking of something. He turned to face Oliver again.
Oliver needed to call Lia.
"Where is Kathy? Please, please, please where is Kathy? Where is Kathy?"
The tears were falling now. And then he was crying out as he asked for where Kathy was.
Oliver wanted to hug him but he refused still wanting to break free of his grasp.
"Where is Kathy? Where is Kathy?"
He was shouting now.
"Please",
That single word had so much agony. He had never heard Chris speak that loudly. Oliver was terrified.
"Where is Kathy?"
"Chris"
Oliver distinctly heard Lia calling for him.
"Where is Kathy? Where is she? Please. Please. Please"
Oliver grabbed him by the shoulder. He had to understand. He didn't seem to understand.
"Chris, Kathy is dead. She's gone"
"No", he shook his head.
"She's not coming back. She's dead"
"No"
Chris broke free of his grasp and pushed him away. He hit his chest. Oliver would care enough to feel the pain if he wasn't worried about the crazed look in his eyes.
"No"
The door to his room and Lia appeared, Lena in tow.
"Chris"
He turned to face his mother. He was breathing heavily.
"Kathy?" He almost whispered her name.
The tears started to fall from Lia's eyes then as she shook her head.
"No"
"Chris", she moved to embrace him but he moved away before she could.
"No, no"
"Chris"
Then he was crying. No, this wasn't crying. He wailed. He sounded as if he was in unbearable pain.  He yelled "no"  over and over and over again. One second he was on his feet and the next he was crumbling to the ground. Lia immediately joined him and embraced him tight. He didn't push her away but his wails all but increased and that fuelled hers.
As Oliver watched him on the ground, he realized for the past four years, Kathy was all Chris knew. She was the only thing that made sense in his life. She was his everything. She added balance to his life.
With her death, he feared his sanity died too.

:(