[Dazai Osamu x Reader]
The world knows you as a person with numerous masks and personalities all thanks to the immoral line of work you've decided to do... to survive.
Your survival doesn't only rely on money, it also relies on the fact that your t...
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Call logs
Dazai, singing: "(Y/N)-chan~! I'm hanging upside down from the roof planks!"
You: "Cut the rope."
Dazai: "Then I'll hit my head!"
You: "Good. Common sense might become common then."
----
Dazai, yelling: "(Y/N)-CHAN~! I'M STUCK ON A UTILITY POLE!"
You, sleepy: "Why are you yelling?"
Dazai: "WHAT?! IT'S RAINING IN HERE! I'M SOAKING WET!"
You, mumbling: "Just stay there until morning to dry off."
----
Dazai: "(Y/N)-chan~! A rabid street dog is chasing me!"
You: "If you get rabies, I won't kiss you."
Dazai: "Never mind, it's gone."
----
Dazai, gibberish: "(Y/N)-chan~! I'm tangled in bandages!"
You, sighing then humming sensually: "Kinky."
Dazai: "Don't do this to me, now."
You: "Set yourself on fire."
Dazai: "You already started it."
----
Dazai, muffled: "(Y/N)-chan~! The freezer is crushing me."
You: "How is that possible?"
Dazai: "I was trying to move it but it had other ideas."
You: "It's crushing on you now? Thanks for being faithful."
Dazai: "(Y/N)-chan~! It wasn't even planned!"
----
After you walked through the door of your apartment, you expected another suicidal display from your partner, but found him soundly napping on the sofa.
You placed the groceries on the kitchenette's counter and stumbled to the sleeping cutie.
This week seemed long and perilous.
Every time Dazai attempted suicide, he'd call you instead of anyone else in the agency. He either wanted to pester you or send you a suicide invitation.
Every time you'd brush him off with a dismissive reply and hang up, but not a second passes before you drop what you're doing to his rescue.
You didn't know what was up with him.
True Dazai didn't magically cease his suicidal attempts, but they didn't happen consequetively. They're usually 3 or 4 attempts a month.
The chances of one ever happening would be zero, if you had him stuck to you by the hip.
Perhaps that's what was needed at the moment.
If you wanted a restful sleep, you just have to glue yourself to him.
Tie him in place.
So you squeezed yourself between the sofa and him, placed an arm and a leg on his body before squirming into comfort, waiting for sleep to snatch you away.
Your hand slipped into his black vest, rubbing his chest to warm your frozen fingers.
A low chuckle vibrated from his chest, "it's ticklish."
Your eyes glanced up briefly to the merriment in his sleepy features, "it's cold."
Dazai hummed in agreement, stretching his long legs over the arm of the sofa.
He looked so sweet you couldn't but help yourself to a bite. You straddled him and squeezed his cheeks with one hand.
Dazai whined sleepily, elevating the cuteness to an irresistible level. You kissed his perked lips so hard before letting go with a loud smooch.
"Let's make something and have it on the kotatsu!" you encouraged.
