[Dazai Osamu x Reader]
The world knows you as a person with numerous masks and personalities all thanks to the immoral line of work you've decided to do... to survive.
Your survival doesn't only rely on money, it also relies on the fact that your t...
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The leader of the Armed Detective Agency raised his relentless stare to meet yours and, in a futile attempt, you challenged him.
Until you couldn't anymore, realising he'd definitely win in a staring contest.
It was like marking down the final boss in a game. He dared you to pull your next move and fear for your life was suddenly a concern.
You don't know what he was expecting of you, but you could tell it definitely was along the lines of violence.
Violence wasn't your forte, unfortunately.
At least, not with a capable, healthy ability user.
Thus, what you did next, awakened the scarce emotional reactions within this man and you weren't in the position to witness the phenomenon.
You bowed formally, as the following words slipped out of your lips, "thank you."
When no words were voiced back, you repeated, "thank you for what you've done for me. I know, it was supposed to be an Entrance Exam, but more than my eligibility as an agent, it helped me tremendously to move on from my past."
Yes, a trip to a shameful past must be unpleasant; however, with it, scars eventually learned how to heal and, even though it was completely unplanned, Mafia problems were amended.
"And here I thought this was an attempt at assassination," Fukuzawa stated after the long quiet.
You sprang up to meet his indifferent form with a start, "I don't really have a death wish, you know?"
"The person you were a few months ago wouldn't share the same sentiments."
Your lips opened to retaliate but words betrayed you to silence.
He was right.
Life didn't hold any value, mainly because value was such a foreign luxury to yourself.
All you did was hang on until an unfortunate accident, an assassin from the Mafia or old age took your life. You couldn't be the one to do it since the resulting shame of facing the people you've wronged enough to kill would haunt you to the end of days.
You were reckless when recklessness could be excused for death.
Walk willingly into the Port Mafia headquarters?
No.
Stick with an equally dangerous organisation (the Armed Detective Agency) who would have you arrested or killed for your crimes?
Yes.
As Dazai said before, the instant the Agency let you walk of its doors, could have been the first and last time.
You could've travelled to another continent and lived in grandeur with all the wealth you've accumulated, but you couldn't.
Because you always had a death wish.
"The Entrance Exam did test your eligibility as an agent," Fukuzawa vocalised your incorrect assumption, his voice like the warmth of a hearth, "warning your previous Mafia Executive of the attack would have put the Armed Detective Agency in danger, but you didn't."
"What difference would it make? Arata would have his base attacked by an enemy soon after," you admitted.
"The Agency would be rendered helpless. The Mafia would have free reign on Yokohama. This other enemy would be at a disadvantage with your warning. The mafia members you had administered would have a chance of living with further study," Fukuzawa listed the outcomes of one simple turn of events before he concluded: "it would have made a difference."
A light chuckle left your lips at all the possibilities you didn't deem worth enough to consider. You only had one thought in mind, regardless of the outcome. One humanly thought of mercy: "I just didn't want them to suffer anymore."
Silence ensued as your words hung in the air, making the room shrink in on your lungs.
You inhaled a deep breath, brushing away what was left of the past and announced, "I'll work as hard as I can to compensate for the free trip to the past."
"I'll expect no less, then," Fukuzawa replied, returning his attention to his work.
If it was disappointment or a lack thereof, you couldn't tell. He seemed to have high hopes and you couldn't possibly deliver.
Now the words you confessed left a sour aftertaste. A small part of you built an affinity to Fukuzawa and wished to pleased, but that can only be achieved on realistic, honest terms.
"Once you see what I see, you'd know I'd never be disappointed in you... and most importantly, you wouldn't either."
Your eyes turned up to meet kindness in his and the contagious gentleness of a smile. For the first time, your heart fluttered at the approval you never received from a parent or a boss and a timid stretch of your lips betrayed the inner warmth.
"You can start working hard by bringing Dazai to work."
Just as instant as the feeling began, it was gone and your lips turned downright, "wow, am I Dazai-san's nanny now?"
"I believe Dazai will be well-managed under your supervision."
Eyes looking anywhere but at those steel blues, you dared to question, "and may I ask why is that so?"
The power of one knowing look from Fukuzawa sent your body into a wreck of a shiver.
