In Memory of a Dark Era

Turbulence

Aside from Dazai's melodic humming, the car ride was quiet and peaceful, providing you with the perfect atmosphere to take in your surroundings. It was as if you were truly brought back from death and are attempting to resume your role as a living human being.

You thought about everything that had happened to lead to this current moment and couldn't help but ask the following question as you turned from the window to Dazai's direction, "am I delusional?"

"What makes you say that?" the fluffy-haired being replied, his hand coming to a stop from tapping on his leg.

"Is... this a dream?" you whispered, narrowing your eyes at his amused features.

"Depends. Am I constant guest of your dreams?"

"... stop messing around. Was Fukuzawa there or did I imagine it?"

A deep chuckle left his lips before he responded, "he was, but you departed reality right after his congratulations. Fortunately, Tachibana, the man who took you back in time, said that your state is completely normal~"

"Then why did you make me sound crazy?!" you lurched at him, hair dropping on your frowning face with the movement.

"When?" he asked innocently with a tilt of his head. Your eyes were so judgmental that he instantly broke into a fit of laughter and admitted, "you were so cute, how could I stop myself~!" Dazai's hands were on his cheeks as he swayed around like a fangirl and babied, "all wet, trembling and helpless~! You were like a cute lil bunny! Would you really blame me for messing around with that head a while longer?"

"I see who's delusional now," you mumbled turning away from him and staring at your reflection in the window. What cute bunny was this lunatic talking about? Your hair was a mess, skin pale, lips colourless and your eyes carried the exhaustion of years.

In simpler words, a meth addict is more attractive.

After a lengthy ride, the car had finally stopped before your apartment complex and, as if the car was catching fire, you exited as fast as could be not minding Dazai or the driver. You've been fidgeting and squirming around while Dazai was mere inches away from you. His presence alone triggered an agonising session in your doubtful mind.

Unanswered questions and thoughts twirled around: did he know? If he does, why won't he mention it? that sadist definitely won't pass up a chance to torment you... Maybe he doesn't know? How would he know anyways? Of course, he doesn't know!

And just when you come to a satisfactory conclusion, a thought destroys it all: what if that Tachibana guy knows? What if he tells Dazai? What if he announces it on the TV?

Like they were a timed cursed, the questions only surfaced when you felt at ease and all you wanted at the moment is to have a hot shower and curl into your flat in solitude.

"I can take care of it from here," you muttered fully aware that Dazai wasn't so keen to your wish and had indeed been following you to the door.

"Of course, but where's the key?" a bandaged hand caressed his chin as Dazai assumed the role of detective, eyeing the door curiously.

"... oh," you slapped a hand on your face, realising that you had nothing but your miserable self.

"No matter!" Dazai announced heroically. "After all, you have the ever so reliable, Dazai Osamu!" He pulled out a pin with a glint as bright as the one dancing in his eyes, giving your memories another review of your time in the past.

For a moment there, it felt like nothing had changed or perhaps, the executive you were all too intimate with have always been there.

Bidding farewell to this suicidal man was never needed, it seems.

Some ease could be salvaged from the fact that no regrets or doubts on will ever arise when from never exchanging any proper words with the Executive Dazai Osamu. The very thought of the matter drew a drained, yet grateful smile on your lips for no matter how hard you tried to deny it, the man was a great deal of help in many ways. Albeit some revelations of your emotional and physical desires would still be deeply buried had it never been for his encounter.

Your eyes landed on the bandaged man in question with a melancholic fondness that seemed to cherish his very existence.

There you were.

Admiring a sadistic suicidal with the full potential to start a civil war breaking into your own apartment.

Life has done nothing but take and when it offered.

It was this man.

Not to mention he isn't actually yours.

You sighed as you shut your eyes and pulled the trench coat tighter around your body. A headache was starting to take over your overworking mind, its intensity increasing with every private thought. At this point, you only wished your personal trespasser to make haste. Even though it hasn't been long since Dazai started his operation, the nausea and fatigue you felt were the ones to turn your seconds into minutes.

Finally, after the endless seconds of fumbling around with his pin, Dazai had the door hanging open right before your eyes with a glamorous display, "tada~!"

"You do this often?"

"Only when I have to."

"And when was the last 'I have to' happened?"

"About 30 seconds ago."

Unable to produce a response to compliment the genius of his childish antics, you walked passed him into the warmth of your flat. The first thought that crossed your mind was a steamy shower and to that wish you grabbed hold of a towel and headed to the bathroom escaping Dazai and the mirrors.