i think i can love you | miyamura x oc

self love [ch. 35]

After Haname confessed to Kei, he had to decline her declaration of love, which was the hardest thing he had to do in his whole life. One day later Kei revealed that he was in love with Chitose, who was more confused with her feelings than ever. She knew Haname would hate her, and Chitose wasn't ready for love. Not after what happened before. Chitose couldn't take it. So she went back to the city. Chitose didn't tell anyone that she was leaving, but she couldn't face both Haname or Kei again. She loved him, but she knew it was wrong. Kei was the one thing that made Haname happy over the years, and Chitose didn't want to ruin that. But it was too late. Kei had already fallen for her. Kei had chosen Chitose, not Haname. And that was the part that hurt Chitose the most.

When Chitose rode a taxi back to her apartment, she had planned to see Miyamura and tell him what had happened. She called him continuously during the taxi ride, but he didn't pick up. Chitose looked at her phone suspiciously as she simply shrugged it off.

The next day, Chitose decided to walk to Miyamura's house to see him. Unexpectedly, she saw Akenon storming off with teary eyes, but Akenon stopped in her tracks to look at Chitose, who was confused beyond belief. "Are you happy now, Nasegawa?!" Akenon yelled with eyes full of sadness in anger as Chitose furrowed her eyes, confused on what was going on. "What the hell happened here...?" Chitose mumbled to herself as she entered the bakery, which upstairs led to Miyamura's house. Miyamura's mother recognised her immediately and ran to Chitose with a worried look on her face. "Is Izukkun here?" Chitose asked as Miyamura's mom nodded. "Izumi hasn't come out of his room for two days, he's barely eaten, and he won't tell me whats going on." Miyamura's mother had tears in her eyes as Chitose's mind went crazy. "What the hell?" She thought as she pat Miyamura's mother on the shoulder and made her way upstairs.

Chitose knocked on Miyamura's door, hoping for an answer. At first, there was nothing. Then, Chitose heard a sigh from inside. "Go away, Hajishi." Miyamura said from inside, and he seemed to think that Akenon was at his door again. "I-Izukkun? It's me, Chi-san." Chitose greeted him from outside the door as it took about fifteen seconds for him to open it. Chitose's eyes widened as she caught sight of Miyamura. He looked different, beyond different. His normal diamond eyes looked dead, and didn't have the same glow like they used to. Chitose took a step inside Miyamura's perfectly tidy room and sat on his desk chair. "Tell me... what the heck is going on, Izukkun. Jeez, Hajishi ran out of here in tears and yelled at me!" Chitose was obviously concerned as Miyamura sighed. The two sat there in silence for a while, and Chitose was getting quite uncomfortable. The atmosphere was awkward during the silence.

"Megumi's left." Miyamura suddenly told her, and Chitose's eyes widened. True, Chitose hated Megumi. It's just that she was so used to Megumi being there to argue with her all the time. Chitose knew that nothing would be the same without her. Miyamura wouldn't be the same, and that same thing goes for Akenon, Yoshikawa, and Ishikawa. "Why?" Chitose asked with a crack in her voice as Miyamura looked like he was on the verge of tears. "Because I told her to." He said, which was the response that Chitose never knew he'd say.

Why would he tell her to go? Chitose's mind was an unsolved puzzle, with bits and pieces scattered everywhere. "I want her to continue her life. Even if it means I'll be miserable." Miyamura sighed, looking up at his bedroom light as Chitose looked down, not knowing what to do in that situation. "I should've been here... I shouldn't have left. It did me no good anyway. I should've been here to stop that wh0re from leaving. Now look what she's done to Izukkun. He shouldn't have fallen in love with her... anyone else but Megumi... I hate her, I hate her..." Chitose repeatedly thought the same thing in her head as she looked up at Miyamura. "Are you really willing to sacrifice your happiness for Takeshita?" Chitose said with a firm look on her face as Miyamura nodded without hesitation. "I would sacrifice everything for her to be happy." He replied, slightly hurting Chitose. Chitose had already accepted that she wasn't Miyamura's choice, but she was angry at Megumi. She was angry that Miyamura had thrown away his happiness for her.

"Why would you do this? Think about yourself for once, not Takeshita!" She stood up, tears escaping from her eyes as her fists balled up. Miyamura's eyes widened as he looked down on the floor, which now seemed very interesting to him. "I understand that you love her, but love goes both ways! What has she ever done for you?!" Chitose shut her eyes tight as she broke down onto the floor, her face in her hands. Tears started moistening her hands as they fell onto the floor.

"She made me happy." Miyamura said calmly as Chitose looked up from her tear stained hands in terror. Chitose stood up, walked up to Miyamura and slapped him hard on the cheek, which he seemed to pay no attention to. "Don't give me that 'happiness' shit! You talk about how Takeshita has made you happy, but look at you now! Are you happy, Izukkun?!" Chitose held him by the shoulders as he looked away from her, not wanting to meet her gaze. "Answer me, Izumi! Are you happy!?" She asked with a angry face, tears unintentionally falling from her red eyes. Chitose then broke crying, as Miyamura still looked away.

"It doesn't matter." He said, his gaze still focused away from Chitose. Her eyes widened. "This is what I'm talking about! That girl is breaking you! Let go before it's too late!" Chitose yelled at him, her mind and heart racing. She wanted him to let go of Megumi. But she didn't know what Miyamura couldn't let go of her. He just wanted her to be happy, even if he has to suffer for it. Chitose didn't understand love at all, which is why she ran away from it. "You don't understand." Miyamura mumbled as Chitose's teeth grinded (?) together in anger. She gave him one last slap with a blank face before walking off in silence. "Don't tell me I didn't warn you." Chitose whispered as she left calmly as if nothing happened.

Even though her intentions were good, Chitose executed her opinion in the wrong way. Her actions came off more like a scolding than comforting. Chitose ignored Mrs Miyamura constant questions about what happened upstairs in Miyamura's room as she wiped the tears from her eyes and hailed the nearest taxi.

When she got to the apartment, Chitose immediately lay down on her bed, to upset to even do anything. "Takeshita ruined my life... I hate her... I hate her so much..." Chitose thought has she found herself sobbing into her pillow, not knowing what to do. She now hated Megumi more than ever—despised her, even. The only way she could express her negative emotions was crying her eyes out. Chitose was just so frustrated; and even wanted Megumi as good as dead. "Come back, Takeshita... you selfish witch... Izukkun needs you..." Chitose muffled into her tear drenched pillow through sobs.

A few hours later, Chitose found herself scrolling through her phone, not knowing what else to do. Her finger stopped at a particular article that said, 'Phenomenal beauty, Megumi Takeshita, has found her place in American university, Harvard.' The headline read. Chitose furrowed her eyes in anger and frustration as she threw her phone across the room, not thinking. She dug her face into her eyes, finding no way to express her utter hate. "Don't you have any idea... how selfish you are?" Chitose mumbled through her tear stained hands as if she were talking to Megumi.

[a/n: double update! My attempts to make Chitose make likeable have utterly failed lmao]