THE SCARS ON MY BODY ● JEGULUS |MARAUDERS|

✵EIGHTY-SIX✵

IT'S BEEN A MONTH BUT...HELLO...PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS!! LOVE YOU <3

TW: VOMITING (BEING ILL IN GENERAL)/HINTS AT SUICIDAL THOUGHTS/TALKS OF ABUSE/TALKS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT/TALKS OF CHILD NEGLECT/TALKS OF TORTURE/TALKS OF MURDER/TALKS OF DEATH

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✵ Your life, your choices ✵

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It was midday when the first tear fell and it was evening when the last one joined the soaked the pillow. He hadn't been able to cry for months, it was a relief to finally let it all out. Humphrey sighed, his eyes oddly dry, and stuffed his face into the duvet upon him. He was curled into a tight ball, his clammy hands clutching one another from around his knees. He had not left his dorm all day, although, to be quite frank, he had not left his dorm in months. Yes, he went to the bathroom, and yes, Regulus brought him food, but the one thing that he was still being deprived of was Milo Bennet.

It was his fault that the two of them were no longer together, it truly was, but that did not mean that Humphrey had lost any sort of love for him. He couldn't leave the dorm without spotting something that reminded him of Milo. The painting on the common room wall that Milo had made fun of, the excessive green decorations that Milo constantly complained about, the people Milo hated, the people who hated Milo, the people who had made fun of Milo, the people who Milo had made fun of.

No matter how hard he tried, no tears would show. His throat was parched and his chest was tight - he felt ill.

Regulus was with Barty. Milo didn't want anything to do with him. Bailey was fucking dead. It was in that second, that one, minuscule second, that Humphrey finally realized that he had nobody left. To everyone, he was dead. He was dead to everyone. With one twin went the other. Humphrey's body was still there but his soul had left with his sister, and nobody wants an empty friend. Nobody wants a friend who doesn't remember how to be a friend.

He felt very ill.

He was tearing himself down. Brick by brick. Tormenting himself with memories.

He could've helped Milo, he told himself. He could've saved Bailey, he told himself. He could've stopped Erin, he told himself. He could've done more to find Koa, he told himself. He could've

He felt very, very ill.

He then screamed into his pillow, but it only made things worse. He coughed and spluttered and wheezed, but, a bin was held up for him as he threw up. Even after all the shitty things that he had done. After everything that he had said. After everything he hadn't done or hadn't said. Regulus was still there for him. His knight in shining armour, he might have said if it had been a few years prior.

Regulus held back the hair on Humphrey's forehead. Regulus sat by Humphrey's side and rubbed his back. "You're okay," He would mutter, "You're okay."

"I'm so sorry." His words were full of remorse, so full of guilt, but Regulus did not reply. Humphrey was sick two more times before he was able to move the bin away from himself and place it on the floor beside him. Regulus grabbed an extra pillow off of his own bed and added it to Humphrey's so that he had three, and then moved Humphrey to lay down under the covers, half sat up due to the pillows. He then grabbed the bin and left the dorm, soon arriving back with a clean empty bin and a bowl filled with water. Using a damp flannel, Regulus dabbed Humphrey's face, cleaning any sick residue and merely freshening him up.