✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

103. Grow Up

"You okay?" Tess jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder, but it was only Spike. Over the last couple of days she had found herself lost in her thoughts too often, trying to get to the bottom of a confusing mass of emotions. She didn't even know where to start. It seemed like everything was happening at once, and she could barely separate the issues in her mind anymore. It wasn't just her feelings towards Spike, which were as ambiguous as ever, or his offer to be her Daddy. And it wasn't the mix of terror and relief brought on by her visit to the doctor. It was all of those things mixed together, as well as the knowledge that kids just a year older than her were in a last-minute panic cramming for their exams. She had enough acquaintances in the next year to have heard that their education was drawing to a close as teachers changed from teaching them new things to helping them revise. Evan's school apparently made attendance optional for classes in which they were already confident of a good grade.

Tess wasn't sure she would be ready for all that in just one year. But she had to believe that the teachers knew what they were doing, and that she was capable of learning everything so fast. For as long as she could remember, Tess had been telling herself that she was an adult now, and that she would be capable of looking after herself if she left school today. But seeing just how close the end was, she found herself having doubts about her academic abilities.

"Umm... yeah," she mumbled, realising that she was lost in her thoughts again despite the most important person in her life speaking to her.

"A lot on your mind?"

"Yeah. You wouldn't believe. It's like, school only has a year of stuff left to teach us. And Dad says they might be moved to Dubai again before Christmas, so I guess it's good that I didn't start a new school over there. And home is still a bit weird..." She hesitated there, She still hadn't been able to tell Spike about the problems she had been having. About the bedwetting, or Gabby's insistence that she wanted a little.

"And about... what we talked about?" Spike asked. He wasn't pushing. He wasn't so eager to see her in her headspace. He was just trying to guess at the thing she hadn't said, figuring that it might be what she was finding the hardest. And he was right.

"Yeah," she answered. "Well, both the things we talked about. Your passport, I mean. I looked up the procedures, and it seems to be fairly solid in the rules. There's just a form to fill in, but it's six pages and your parents are supposed to sign it. But I asked Dad, and he helped me pin down the legal precedent. They can't actually ask that. But I think it's best to actually have a meeting with your head of year and one of the secretaries, so we can make sure they actually understand. Don't worry about that, we can do it."

"I'm scared," he said. "But I know it's what I have to do. To declare who I am. And I want to say thank you for helping me here. For the first time, I think this is too much for me to handle on my own. But with you there, I know we can do anything."

"Well, most things," she said with a smile. He came and sat down beside her on the bench, and rested his head on her shoulder. It seemed so natural, and she stretched an arm around his shoulders to remind him that he would never be alone. "For this one, it won't be a problem. It's related to your mental and emotional health, you see. I know that's a weird way to look at it, but it makes all kinds of exceptions to the rules."

"You said something about that. So what do I have to do to trigger that? I mean, I've done paperwork for the bills at home, but that's all set up to make it easy to give them money, you sign what they send you. Starting something new is a new thing for me. I feel like a little kid again, realising I don't have everything as sorted as I thought."

"Is your form tutor likely to understand? He's probably the first point of contact. You can tell him some of what it's about if you want. But you'll need to approach one teacher about it, and your form tutor is the obvious choice, unless there's one you get on well with."