The Avengers Group Chat 🦄

insults

Clint: How about an insults contest?

Natasha: r u bored clint?

Clint: Yes 😞

Clint: Also pretty pissed off. Hence the reason I want an insults contest.

Tony: Pfft. Sure you wanna have an insults contest with me?

Clint: Well, Tony, I'd prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed, so I had to settle for the next best option.

Sam: Oh SLAYYYYYY

Tony: OHOHOH THIS IS ON BARTON!

Rhodey: *please note - the following insults are not meant personally*

Sam: 😂

Tony: I'd give you a nasty look, dude, but you've already got one. You don't need another.

Natasha: Oooooh-

Clint: Fun fact for you, Tony. People in the mirror can't talk. Luckily for you they can't laugh either.

Tony: I know you're struggling for insults, Clint. Don't worry, I get it. It's hard to think of insults, and the first 50 years of childhood are always the hardest.

Clint: Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.

Rhodey: I LIKE THAT ONE 😂

Tony: You calling me a nerd? I'm not a nerd. I'm just smarter than you.

Bucky: Hey, Tony, just wanted to say, you bring so much joy to everyone, yk.

Bucky: When you leave the room, but still.

Sam: Pffttt-

Tony: Bucky, complaints are very important to me. If you have a problem with me, write it neatly on a piece of paper, fold it in half, and shove it up your ass.

Loki: Guys, aren't you proud of Tony? He's stringing words into sentences now.

Tony: Why is everyone ganging up on me...

Natasha: bc its funny

Bruce: I'm going to sit back and watch 🍿

Clint: Isn't it dangerous to use up all your vocabulary in one sentence, Tony?

Tony: You can't say anything. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

Loki: Jeez, Tony, you make me want to die at times, ngl. Can I jump off your ego onto your IQ?

Rhodey: S P L A T

Peter 1: WAITMRLOKIIDONTWANTYOUTODIE

Bruce: (Kid, it's an insult contest. They're slamming Tony.)

Peter 1: (Phew. That's a relief :))

Tony: Loki, Bucky. I found a shampoo you could use the other day. It actually had instructions on it, so you two can finally wash your hair.

Bucky: One day, I hope you choke on the crap you talk

Loki: Just cos' you're jealous of mine and Bucky's awesome hair doesn't mean you have to make it obvious 👌

Thor: MORTALS AND BROTHER, I AM ATTEMPTING TO REST. PLEASE STOP TEXTING AT 6AM ON A SATURDAY MORNING.

Tony: Wait, it's 6am already? Swear it was just 3am.

Natasha: gosh who ate ur bowl of sunshine this morning, thundercloud?

Thor: I AM GOING TO TURN MY PHONE ONTO THE SILENCE MODE AND GO BACK TO BED

Loki: Bye. Hope to see you never 👋

Bruce: Pfft that's just rude

Loki: I am rude :)

Clint: I found out a very cool fact yesterday. Light travels faster than sound. That's why Tony seems bright until he speaks

Bruce: backed up with science, I love it

Tony: Clint, u have a whole life to be an idiot, u can take the day off every now and again

Rhodey: wowww Tony, i didnt think it was really ur style to call someone an idiot directly

Tony: u underestimate me >:)

Loki: its impossible to underestimate u

Tony: 🙄

Loki: Keep rolling ur eyes, u may eventually find a brain

Tony: yk, i used to believe in evolution. Then i met u

Loki: well, ur proof that evolution can go in reverse

Tony: i find the fact u lived this long both surprising and disappointing

Loki: Right back at'cha ✌️

Clint: hey, Tonys basically a child compared to u two

Bucky: as r u

Clint: But ur not supposed to be insulting me...

Loki: I'd agree with u, but then wed both be wrong

Peter 4: OOOOH WHO WE INSULTING WHO WE INSULTING?

Tony: The late chicken has finally arrived

Peter 4: *stops in tracks*

Peter 4: *spins around slowly*

Peter 4:  *narrows eyes*

Peter 4: *raises one eyebrow*

Peter 4: What did you just call me?

Peter 4: u calling me a chicken?

Rhodey: 🤭

Clint: yo dead mate

Peter 4: nobody

Peter 4: NOBODY

Peter 4: NOBODY

Peter 4: CALLS ME CHICKEN!!!!!

Tony: bttf reference... oops

Peter 4: WHAT WAS THAT INSULT FOR????????????

Tony: im not insulting u, I'm describing u

Bruce: *sets up bomb shelter and hides with everyone except Tony and Peter 4*

Peter 4: dude, ur insults are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel, and srsly, if ur brain was dynamite, u wouldn't even blow ur helmet off

Peter 4: tho i do believe that some day you'll go far. and i hope u stay there

Loki: i was going to use that one 😞

Peter 4: you're like a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake, ur that boring. it's why ur secrets would be safe with me if u told them me. ur voice just goes right thru me, hence the reason i dont listen to ur secrets in the first place, hence the reason theyre safe

Peter 4: well, ig genius skips a generation, so at least ur kids will be brilliant

Tony: Jesus may love u, Peter, but everyone else sure thinks ur an idiot

Clint: I think he's a badass

Fury: AVENGERS! I have a problem

Clint: I'd love to help you out :)

Fury: ...rlly?

Clint: yes, which way did u come in?

Fury: Barton, if you're going to act like a shit, go lay on the yard

Rhodey: YOOOOOOO

Natasha: WOAAHHHHHHHH

Sam: WASNT EXPECTING THAT

Loki: I am coming over rn to shake ur hand, director Fury

Bucky: Shake his hand for me too

Clint: ...

Clint: That was so good i-

Clint: WE'RE DOING THESE AGAIN SOMETIME

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A/N - lol can u tell when i transitioned from my laptop to my phone in this or what XD