Anti Fanservice [A HyunHo Fanfiction]

Anti Fanservice - 2

Hyunjin

I opened my eyes, adjusting to the car light as the vehicle stopped right infront of our dorm. That was a long yet quick ride and it's not a surprise I had a good nap. Changbin hyung's shoulder is really the best car pillow that's why I always sit next to him.

One by one, the four of us entered our dorm and I headed straight to my room. "Hyunjin-ah! You can use the shower first!" I heard Hannie yell. I didn't give him a reply and just immediately went straight in our shared bathroom and took off my make up, undo my hair, took off my clothes and fills the tub with hot water for me to relax in a few minutes.

Ever since my hiatus ended, I can feel the members showing more affection towards me in front of the camera. It's just weird because I really don't want to be in between ships again that the stays overanalyzes. I just think it's better to be ourselves in private but I can't tell that to them, can I?

I sighed at my thoughts. I'm having these ridiculous scenarios in my head for quite a while now. After a few minutes of staring at myself in the mirror, I finally scrubbed my skin clean and dipped in the hot water with the lights off of course.

Slowly, my lids closes and I fell deep in this dark place again. Silent and alone yet so calming. My safest place.

"Hyunjin-ah?" I opened my eyes and looked back at the door seeing Han looking at me. "Hey." I greeted. He looked around and frowned. "Why are you bathing in the dark again? I told you this is dangerous." He whined and turned on the lights which made my eyes burn.

Fuck.

"I didn't even light any candles-" He sighed and looked at me with his hands on his hips. "That's because we threw it all away. It's either you bathe with the lights on or I'm dragging you out." He can be such a dictator and bossy sometimes and that's the reason why we fought a lot back in our trainee days. Of course, I had some contributions in there as well.

"Fine fine. Just get out." I shooed him out of the bathroom and continued to drift in my safe place where no one can bother me.

10 minutes

20 minutes..

The water is getting cold.

I gasped and sat up, gripping tightly on the rim of the tub as I panted. What was that? Why- Why did I remember Minho's eyes staring at me?

I quickly got out of the tub and drained the water, wiped myself dry with my towel and wrapped it around my waist afterwards.

What the hell hyunjin? My thoughts and I are not having an argument. Not tonight. You can't feel that way. You're just proving everyone is right. I ruffled my wet hair as I exit the bathroom and went back to my room and then threw my towel on the floor out of frustration.

Unfortunately for me, Jisung seemed to hear the light fabric hit the carpet. It's like he has super powers or something.

"What's wrong?" He barges in. I immediately covered my lower half with my pillow and glared at him. "What the hell Jisung! I'm naked!" I exaggerated. He's the last person I want to see right now.

How can you do this to Jisung? I shut my eyes close, stopping myself from breaking down. Years. It has been years since I felt this way for Minho hyung and I swore it wouldn't resurface again. I swore.

But you didn't keep it. I growled and threw my pillow at Jisung, running back in the bathroom and locked the door. "Ya! Hwang Hyunjin! What is wrong with you!?" Han yelled, slamming the door with his palms.

I'm going to get blamed again. I'll ruin everything again and Stays wouldn't stay by my side this time. Keep it in, Hwang Hyunjin. It's not worth it.

"What's going on?" I heard Chan hyung's voice getting near behind the door where Jisung is still standing close. "I don't know. He just slammed his pillow on my face- that's just rude."

My eyes twitched when I heard the annoyance in my bestfriend's words. Jisung and I would go back to the days where we can't stand each other if my feelings won't go back deep down.

I touched my cheeks and I felt tears on my fingertips. Why am I such a crybaby? I sat down on the rim of the tub and buried my face on my palms.

It was wrong of me to fall for my member especially if they're into someone else already. Everyone ships them even I do but deep inside, deep deep inside of me is rage. Jealousy.

I admired him first, I liked him first, I should've been his 'soulmate'... but what's the point? What if that's true? No one cares. You're just a thirdwheel to everyone.

Tears kept falling down on my cheeks. Just because I'm an idol doesn't mean I don't have the right to love someone. You don't have the right. You're Hwang Hyunjin. The Hwang Hyunjin.

This is stupid. I sighed and wiped my tears, took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. I'm Hwang Hyunjin. I have my life decided for me since day one.

"Hyunjin?" Chan, Changbin and Jisung walked in the room with concern on their faces. "What's wrong, Hyunjin-ah, you can tell us." I lowered my head and looked down at Chan hyung who is kneeling infront of me, cupping my stained cheeks.

Are you willing to risk it all for a one sided love that shouldn't have existed?

I sniffed and leaned on his palm, closing my eyes. That's right. I don't need to show my feelings. Having their smallest attention is fine. That's fine and I'm very satisfied with that. "I'm fine hyung. I just miss Kkami." I lied.

"Alright. Let's get you dressed."