Lola & Alex [Slow updates]

Chapter 27: "In Elsa's words, 'Let it go' 2.0."

For second, we just stared at each other.

And then he cleared his throat, "I wanted some water."

I nodded in reply, walking across to open a cabinet for a spoon meanwhile he slowly walked in and took out a water bottle from the fridge. My breath hitched when I felt him behind me a second later, his front almost pressing against my back when he lifted his hand to take out a glass from the same cabinet.

Fucking hell, I should've moved earlier and why the fuck am I getting goosebumps out of all the sudden?

I swallowed hard, the ice-cream tub condensing in my hand. Alex finally moved away and a sigh of relief escaped me.

He poured water in the glass while I sat on the high chair near the counter, occasionally taking spoonful of cookie and dough ice-cream in my mouth and shamelessly watched his back tensing and relaxing when he put the glass in sink after he was done drinking.

The silence was so tense and painfully awkward that I half considered to pick my stuff up and sneak back to my humble abode without him noticing.

But God never really loved me maybe because I really was a Satan's spawn for the moment I was about to walk away, he spoke.

"I can't do this anymore."

The hoarseness and tightness in his voice as though he was holding back himself from saying something more made me pause. I slowly turned around, dread seeping into my very bones as I said in a careful tone, "What do you mean?"

He repeated, "I can't keep doing this anymore."

My heartbeat sped up, "'This' as in the...fake dating?"

He finally looked at me and the pure, raw vulnerability which shone in his eyes made my heart clench tightly, "No, not that."

Despite of the numerous feelings that I was feeling, in there somewhere was the biggest sigh of relied I'd ever had. But his next sentence caused my heart to run even faster although this time, for a very different reason.

He steadily walked towards me with a determined look, his eyes roaming over my face as though looking for any hint of emotion, "I can't take in this weirdness and awkwardness between us anymore. I want to go back to how comfortable we became instead of making each other feel like some long-lost fucking strangers. Besides, weren't you the one who suggested to get comfortable in order to become better actors?"

The sudden realisation hit me like a first breeze on a bright day, somehow waking me up from this fever dream of always being numb and lifeless.

Alex continued, "Lola, you won't be able to meet new people, explore your world, expand it and go on various adventures in the future if you don't want to move on from this little bump in the road. We both got hurt, yes. But everything has a risk in life, there's no guarantee to anything in this world. And what we really think is our armour that would shield and protect us from the world is just an illusion because in reality, all it is a set of precautionary measures we created for ourselves.

He gave me the most tender smile and said, "Besides, someone told me someday that in Elsa's words..."

"...Let it go." I completed his sentence as a whisper in the dim light.

"But the question now is, do you want to let it go?" He looked at me as though he was looking at my bare soul.

The question slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it, "Do you?"

He caught a strand of my hair that fell on my face before smoothening it and tucking it behind my ear, "I do. I've been since the day you told me it doesn't matter that who my dad was as long as I knew who I really was. And I think I finally realized who I am. It just took me this long to realize that."

"But we hate each other," I still try to reasoned even though I knew that it was time to face the reality and stop sulking around.

He pinched his nose in frustration, "Don't you realize it? Our hate somehow along the road turned into something more like friendship and we didn't even realize it until we opened up too much too soon. Why do you think that we were questioning everything that we were feeling? And don't even try to deny it, I know you were having that tornado inside you as well. The answer is simple, because we were in denial."

"B-but the contract a-and-"

He tightly clasped my shoulders, "Lola, everything can be altered but only if you want to move on and live your life as well. The revenge game can continue too. The only thing we need is your approval. So, do you want to let it go?"

He raised his pinky finger towards me, hope shining in his sea-blue eyes.

"Are you not scared?"

"More than can you imagine but I'm far too gone in my mind to think rationally anymore. It's now or never because I'm done with the opening up-shutting off bullshit."

My eyes took in everything, from his messy dark blonde hair, the intensity in his eyes to the way his mouth ticked every now and then from anticipation.

Do I want to let it go?

I hooked my pinky along with his and that was enough of an answer for that time.

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they finally had the conversation that was long overdue 

and to think i still wanted to stretch the drifting apart but then i saw we're at almost 30 chs now and they havent even kissed yet 😭😭 

ps: its 3 am rn and i hv to go somewhere tom best of luck to me 🤡

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