Never be the same. - Vinnie Hacker

not our time

"Your mom is on the phone." I softly said, trying to listen out for any movement.

"What. Why the fuck is my mom calling you." I could hear him muttering angrily as he walked toward the door.

He opened it. And not to be horrible but he looked like complete shit. It was almost like all he had done this past week was leave his room when he absolutely had to and then retreated right back into his pit. His face looked sunken, the dark circles round his eyes added to the fact that his hair was unkempt, made him just look like he wasn't in a good place. It was so dark, all the curtains shut. His PC was collecting dust which was so unlike him. He loved streaming.

I gently handed him the phone with him mom on the end of the line.

I could hear her murmuring down the phone, not being able to make out what it was. But at one point he looked over at me, as if I was brought up in conversation. He didn't break eye contact, but his eyes slowly became sadder and sadder as he watched me melt in his gaze.
I just wanted to grab a hold of him and tell him he was wrong. And that I loved him. But I couldn't; he would get too overwhelmed.

"Okay mom. Yeah I will." He looked at the floor, spinning on his chair. "Love you too. Bye mom. Bye." He hung up the call and walked towards me, as I clung the brown bag of sushi, hanging around his doorframe. I was waiting for him to say something but instead he just handed me my phone back.

"Oh. Thanks." I said, breaking the silence. Looking into his eyes, as I collected the phone. He just stood there. Looking at the bag in my arms then back up to my face.

"Do you want to talk?" He stepped to the side, sighing, offering me to come into his room.

I nodded as I walked in. I almost felt rude to sit on the bed that we once would lie in. I just stared at the bedsheets.

"You can sit on the chair if you want." He read my mind by looking at my gaze.

I sat down. Realising I was still holding the bag of food, I held it out to him with one arm.

I shook my head in frustration at myself for being to awkward. "It's sushi. I picked it up earlier from.." I went to trail on before realising that I didn't need to explain.

"From Sushi Samba right?" He looked at me, as he took the bag. I nodded in response. But he didn't even look in the bag, he just placed it to one side. Again. Not like him at all. That guy loves his food, especially sushi.

"Vinnie." I called his name. He looked at me, laying down on his bed, after blankly staring at the ceiling.

"Mmm?" He pursed his lips, clearly feeling uncomfortable or trying to hold in his emotions.

"Please talk to me." I pleaded, laying all my pride out infront of him.

He looked back up the the ceiling, arms bended so his hands were interlocked behind his head. Nothing.

"Why did you ever think that was okay?" He whispered, not even looking at me. Then he turned his head and sat up. His eyes filled with tears. "Do you know what it's like to tell someone you love them for the very first time." He counted on his hand, "To think that they are yours. And then you find them.." he paused. "Kissing one of your best friends after leaving them for five fucking minutes." He said making a fist with his hands, hitting them on the bed.