Con Brio: Todd and Ian's story

15) Ian

He has never been this happy. He has never been this fulfilled, ever. Todd has fallen asleep straight away, but Ian's still awake, and to be honest, he's not sure if he's going to sleep at all. He can still feel the afterglow of the gorgeous orgasm Todd's just given him. Oh my God, he knew he must be good at that, but he couldn't have suspected he was that good. 
His lips around him... he's storing the memory in his heart, keeping it safe forever. 
This is bliss, this is everything. Todd is in his arms, sleeping soundly. Is he going to have a headache when he wakes up? Ian leans forward and kisses the head gently. Then holds him tight and rests his head against Todd's. Yeah, he'll just lie here all night, and feel this bliss. 
Nothing has ever felt better than this. 

---

He wakes up with a shock, and fear is gripping his heart. He tries to breathe, but it's difficult.
Oh my God.
It rings in his brain, so loudly he thinks for a second he's screamed it. Did that really happen? But Todd is there, in his arms, breathing deeply, completely relaxed. It really happened. The band grabs him harder and his bottom lip starts to quiver. 
Oh no, oh no, oh no. Todd was drunk, too drunk. He knew that. Yes, he was drunk too, but not anymore. 
No, he's stone cold sober now, and he knows exactly what he's done. He's gone and taken advantage of his best friend, who he has a stupid crush on, when he was drunk and vulnerable. He allowed him to give him the best orgasm he's ever had with his soft, sweet mouth. And he gave nothing in return, even. 
He moves a little and feels his nudity. And something sticks on his leg, which he instantly knows must be Todd's sperm. 
Oh no, oh no, oh no. What has he done? Todd is going to wake up, is going to turn away from him in disgust, is never going to want to have anything to do with him, ever again. His heart starts racing, and he braces himself. 
No. Not now. This is not the time nor the place for a panic attack. Todd is there, sleeping peacefully at least. He can't fuck that up too. He grits his teeth and rides it out, until his heart starts slowing down a little. Tears press themselves out of the corners of his eyes, but he doesn't make a sound. He just lies there, cradling his best friend, who is probably not his friend anymore. 

At first light he breathes a little easier. At least it's light. Everything is easier to take in the light, even your best friend in the world turning away from you, getting another room, saying they never want to see you again. He grits his teeth again and stops the thoughts before he spirals again. Still, it's a shock when Todd grunts and turns around in bed, then clearly startles, and sits up in shock. 
"Oh!" he says, his face all at once as pale as a sheet. "F...fuck!" 
Ian wants to say he's so sorry, this should never have happened, he's an idiot, please don't leave me. But he's frozen, frozen solid in the bed, and he can only stare at his friend wide eyed as he searches his face, then scrambles from the bed and runs into the bathroom, closes the door behind him. 
And Ian knows it's all true, everything he's feared. He's the worst person in the world, taking advantage of him like that. And he can never fix what he's done. 
He gets up quickly and gets dressed. Everything is easier to deal with when you're not naked. 
Todd is just coming out of the bathroom, avoiding him completely, when there's a knock at the door. 
"Guys, you up?" 
It's Eddy. Of course. Oh my God, what will Brett and Eddy say? Will they hate him, too? They would choose Todd, right, if it came to it? The band grips and Ian tries to stay upright. 
"Shit. Ah. Yes, Eddy. Coming." Todd says. He grabs his cello and heads for the door, and the only thing Ian can think to do is to follow him.