Con Brio: Todd and Ian's story

26

Now, to be honest Ian would have been quite happy to leave the talking part of the program behind and go back to the other part, but after a minute of gorgeous kissing Todd lets go and looks at him with glittering eyes. The bulge in Todd's trousers tells him he's plenty into this, but he knows Todd well enough to know that if Todd wants to talk, they're gonna talk. 
And it feels so, so safe. Todd has always been his anchor, but now he's more. He can be strong, because Todd is. He can blossom, because Todd allows him to. 
"So... can I?" Todd asks again, and Ian knows what he means. 
Can Todd be a part of it? Can he let him in, in his dark moments, when he's weak, when he's alone? Will he even still be weak, now?
Todd knows about his nightmares, and he knows where they come from. He knows more about him than anybody in the world does.
And he's never run away. 
"Okay." he says then. And he means it. 
Not to be alone anymore, hiding, like he was in the restaurant that night? Where can he sign on the dotted line?

"So I fell in love with you over time." Todd says gently, almost like he's in the confessional. "I started noticing it like a year ago. I was looking at you differently, suddenly. I no longer saw just a friend. I was noticing things about the way you looked, or what you wore. I dreamed about you. So I felt terrible about it, of course. I mean, how could I feel things about my straight best friend? I felt like the worst person in the world."
Ian sits, and listens, the tears still pricking behind his eyes. Oh, how he wishes he could have made that better. 
How he wishes he would have been honest earlier. 
"How did Eddy know?" he asks before he can start crying.
"That time they taped that thing of the Tchaik at the con. He caught me looking at you. Followed me out. I bawled my eyes out in the basement hall, like a fool. Making it worse for him, because he's worried, I know. He's worried a lot."
Ian blinks again.
"Jesus." he says softly. "That far back. I was... head over heels for you then, Toddy. And I was trying so hard to push it away."
"Why?"
Ians scoffs. 
"Because I never thought you could like someone like me? Jeez, Todd, you've been with the most gorgeous, perfect guys. Guys like you. I'm a five, at most. On a good day. You're a ten."
"Ian!" Todd interrupts him almost sternly. "You're not a fucking five. Please. Don't be down on yourself like that."
"Come on, Todd. Guys throw themselves at you. Girls too, for that matter."
Todd shrugs. 
"That's just because I'm good at the game. But you're gorgeous. Please. Believe me."
Ian nods. Not because he believes him. But because he believes he means it. And his heart swells up to twice its normal size. 
"I love you." he says and Todd smiles like he's just given him the earth. 
"I love you too."

Just like that the time for talking is over. Todd's lips are soft, and gentle, and he kisses him for the longest time, and then they sit together on the bed, cross legged, their foreheads together, and somehow this is more intimate than anything they have done up to this point. 
He could stay here forever, in fact, in this little bubble of love and safety, ignore how hungry he's getting. 
"We should probably see if next door is ready for some dinner, hey?" Todd says.
"Yeah. I could eat a cow."
Todd grins. 
"Yeah, me too." He gets up, opens the door and walks back in as Ian picks up his phone to check his messages. 
"I'm giving those guys five minutes, then I'm dragging them out."