Con Brio: Todd and Ian's story

42 Todd (slightly NSFW)

Todd takes a deep breath, just to try and compose himself. God, he's so glad that Ian has asked him that. He would have hated to try go to sleep like this, with all those feelings still beneath the surface. And he does need to sleep. A little bit of them is exactly what he needs right now. 
"A bedtime story, huh?" he teases gently.
Ian stills, and for a moment Todd wonders whether he's fallen asleep. 
"Um." he says then. 
"What is it, baby? Tell me?"
Ian nods.
"Tell me if you don't want it. Please be honest, okay? But I was thinking maybe I could... you know..."
He trails off, clearly embarrassed, clearly he's not going to say what he's thinking now, but it's too late. Todd knows what he wanted to say, just from his tone. 
"You mean you would finger me?" he whispers and Ian draws in a quick breath.
"O... only if you want to. Just one. Singular. I thought... maybe if you could feel what I felt?"
Todd doesn't know whether to cry, run away, or worship at Ian's feet. He knows why he's saying this. He's saying this, risking this, for him. Because he wants him to feel better. He knows Ian will be scared, because he's making himself vulnerable. And he's doing it anyway.
Oh, Ian. 
"I wish you knew how awesome you are." he whispers in a voice that's suddenly thick. 
I mean, how can he say no? He took him, right, earlier this evening? If Ian had so much faith in him, how could he even think about not returning that? But even as he thinks it he knows Ian's right. With Ian, he does want to do this. With Ian, maybe in time he can try to bottom? Ian deserves that. 
He himself deserves that too. 
"Okay." he whispers. Fresh tears are making their way out of his eyes, and he knows Ian knows. But he has no space to worry about it. 
Ian rolls over and grabs the little bottle of lube that always travels with him. 
"Any tips?" he whispers in a voice that betrays the tension. Todd smiles. 
Well. He won't have to worry about nails, at least. Always convenient, a string player, no? In quick words he explains to Ian what do to, what not to do, and with a deep breath he takes his underwear off. 

Fuck, why is he this nervous? He can tell Ian is too. He's sure he can feel the weight of this as he lubes up his fingers. Todd can feel his body cramping up, because he knows it's coming. 
Pain. 
But Ian leans over and kisses him gently, trails his hand down his chest, just like he did earlier to him. 
"I will not do anything to hurt you. I will not do anything you don't want me to. Ever." he whispers. 
Todd wants to say yes, of course, I know that. But something seems to have changed about the inside of this room, because suddenly everything is laden with something new, something deep. 
Something love. 
So instead of saying that he looks up at Ian with teary eyes and nods. 
Ian's right hand is on his penis, soft for now, because of all the emotion. When has a guy last touched him when he's been soft? But Ian moves his fingers around him, massaging gently. He knows how, of course. And his erection stirs. Ian doesn't stop massaging him, moving up and down gently, taking his time, and before Todd knows it his thoughts fall away and all of his consciousness is with the hand that's around him. 
"Do you want me to?" Ian asks him gently. "I can just do this, nothing else."
Todd shakes his head. 
"No. Do it."