Con Brio: Todd and Ian's story

67

Todds sits quietly and tries to breathe. He can see Eddy is just the same, and he's so very, very pale, but his face is set in stone. They wait, it seems for an eternity, for Eddy's mum's voice to come back, but when it does, she says something in Mandarin he obviously can't understand. 
He understands her tone, though. She's panicking. Scrambling. 
Eddy swallows beside him. He's getting even paler, now, basically green. But his face is marble still. He nods once, twice, then takes a deep breath. 
"I'm gay, mum." he says with resolve, not turning to Mandarin, probably for his benefit. "And I'm with Brett. I have been for years. I'm sorry I could never be what you wanted, but here's the truth. I will never be with a girl. I hope you can accept us, because that's the only way, for me. It's us. And it always will be us. I love you, mum, and I want to have a good relationship with you. Which we can have, if you accept me for who I am."
The silence that follows deafens him. He's said it. He's said it, and now she knows. A shiver pulls through him as his hand touches Eddy's shoulder. 
I'm here, bro.
"Boo!" his mum screams through the phone, and Todd knows that word. It means no. He can hear how freaked out she is, just from the one word, and part of him feels sorry. She doesn't mean to be like this, he knows that. But he can't discount how his friend has suffered, because of it. So he's mad as hell, too. And he wills it to her. 
Get your fucking act together, lady! This is your son! 
It's probably a good thing he doesn't speak Chinese. He doesn't know if he could stop himself from saying it out loud.
"I will always be your son, mum, and I'm always here for you." Eddy says quietly, but firmly. "And I really wanted to do this in person, but you kicked me out, earlier. I hope you reconsider."
His voice breaks on the last moment and Todd takes his hand on a whim, squeezing it so he knows.
He's not alone in this. 
"Mum?" Eddy asks, after the longest time. And she answers. In English, bless her. 
"I need to think."
"I get that. But mum, please. You don't have to digest this alone. I can be there for you, with you, if you just let me. I can come over now, if you want."
"I need to think." she says again, and just like that the line clicks and she is gone. 

"Fuck..." Todd breathes as Eddy hangs up and looks at him helplessly. His eyes are wild, and shocked, his breaths are quick and shallow, his skin pasty and green. 
"I can't believe I told her." he whispers. 
"Yeah" Todd says. "She... she said she had to think though, right? She didn't say she never wanted to see you again?"
Eddy jumps up and clamps his hand over his mouth, runs out. Oh, God. Oh, no. He feels so, so bad for him, and yet there's nothing he can do to fix it. All he can do is follow him, close the bathroom door behind him and stand there in the corner as Eddy hurls, over and over again, long after his stomach must be empty. And he's mad. Real, fucking mad. Why do fucking homophobes exist, and why do they keep hurting the people he loves? 
He's really, really over having the people he loves hurt. His lip quivers as he tries to stop himself from punching yet another wall. But Eddy moves then, and leans back against the bathtub. Tears are streaming over his face and Todd swipes at an angry tear of his own. 
"Mate..." he says quietly after a long moment. Eddy sits up and flushes the toilet. 
"Sorry." he whispers. "I... I wish I knew how Brett is."
"Yeah." Todd says as he steps forward and holds out his hand. Sorry? Seriously? He's apologising? Come on.
"Let's go and drink that tea then, while we wait for him?" he coaxes gently. "Do you think you can do that?"