Con Brio: Todd and Ian's story

20) Todd

For a second Todd thinks he'll faint. His heart skips several beats and he can feel the blood drain from his face. 
I like you. Ian has said. 
It's what he said, isn't it? 
"You... what?" he manages. 
Ian nods, but he doesn't respond. So he has to ask again. His heart starts pounding in his throat, and he tries desperately to hang on to his sanity. 
"Ian, you like me? You like like me?"
"Yeah." Ian says, all defeatedly. "I'm so sorry."
Todd shoots a glance at Eddy, who is there, looking all paternal somehow, as tears start forming in his eyes again. Then he looks back at Ian, and something clicks. 
Oh my God. What if it's true? His minds shoots back to yesterday, at the restaurant. How much like a date it felt. He had told himself off for that, telling himself to stop being ridiculous. But Ian's eyes... 
And last night, the invite to kiss him. What if... what if he didn't take advantage of him? What if Ian really wanted him to? 
Something shifts inside him. 
"Jesus Christ, are you serious?" he says. "Ian... oh mate."
"I'm so sorry, Todd." Ian says raspily. "I tried so hard not to, but... I... Todd, can we... please, can we still be friends?"
And Todd can see it now, bright as day. He can see how weak Ian's feeling, how insecure. He can take that away. Why hasn't Ian told him before? 
"Whoa. Ian..." he says softly as his instincts take over. He knows how to woo. He knows how to make someone feel secure. He puts his hands on Ian's thighs and squeezes gently. The words are bubbling up in him, and he can't believe he can say them. He can't believe he's not seen it  before. 
"I... I can't believe you just said that." he says hoarsely. "Actually... we can be a lot more than that, if... if you're really serious. Because I... well, I might as well tell you that I like you too. More than like you, in fact."
"What?" Ian says, clearly so shocked that for a moment Todd thinks he's about to have to catch him, he's so pale. Yet his beauty radiates through the pallour. 
"You... but you can't." Ian rasps. "Why would you? I'm just... and you're..."
Oh, Ian. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. 
But he can make him see. If Ian really likes him back, he can make him see. His head whips around to Eddy of its own accord. 
"Is this really happening?"
Eddy smiles. 
"I think so, Todd."
"Ian." he says, turning back to him, squeezing gently again. "Hey. Ian. Why do you think I haven't dated?"
"I... I dunno. I figured you were busy with school and shit."
Todd shakes his head. He suddenly feels like he can breathe again, maybe for the first time in months.
"Nope. It was because I wanted you. But I couldn't have you, because you were my straight best friend."
Ian looks up at him and shakes his head.
"I'm not straight, Todd. Not anymore. Haven't been for a while."
Those words. He's dreamed of hearing them. He had never, ever expected to hear them. They fill his heart, his head. He takes another deep breath, because there is oxygen in the room now.
"Oh my God." he says, shaking his own head. "All this time... Jesus, Ian, it's been so hard to keep this from you. I... it's almost killed me."
"You really like me?" Ian asks him, the question clear on his face, the invitation outstanding. 
This is real. So he decides to be honest.
"No, Ian. I love you."