Con Brio: Todd and Ian's story

52) Todd/Ian

He could cry as he steps under the warm water, pulling Ian close to him. How long has it been since he's been naked with a guy, but not because he's about to pound on him? He melts into the hug, burying his face in Ian's chest, holding him as if he's making sure he's really, actually here. Then he grabs himself together, raises his head and smiles coyly.
When has he last been coy? 
"So. It was a pretty good night, right?" he says softly as he reaches for the little bottle of hotel shampoo bodywash combination. Not that he could ever use that on his curly hair, because he would turn into some sort of Einstein wannabe overnight. He washes Ian with sure strokes, turning him around to face the wall so he can lather the soap on his back and shoulders in circular motions. It must be hard on the back, holding a viola up all night, and sure enough Ian groans in appreciation. He gives him a playful slap on the bum when he's done washing and Ian turns around with a grin, then holds out his hand for the bottle. 

Todd knows, now, when this has last happened, as he allows himself to be washed gently, as he himself groans in appreciation too at Ian's thumbs digging into the sore points just above his shoulder blades, because let's face it, it's not like playing the cello is easy on the body. He knows very well when he's last showered with a guy, just sweetly like this, not for horniness, but for love. 
Never. 
That's when it last happened. 
He's so tired now, the fatigue seems to have seeped into his bones, so it's easy to follow Ian out. Easy to throw on a pair of boxers, brush his teeth, easy to slip into bed beside Ian and snuggle on his chest. 
Somewhere inside there's a tiny bit that wonders if Ian is expecting more, but before he can even delve into that at all he's out like a light.   

IAN

Todd's already fallen asleep and he smiles against the wet curls underneath his chin. Todd's definitely not slept enough these last couple of nights. 
"The last few days with you have been the best days of my life." he whispers, even though he knows Todd is past hearing his words. Maybe they'll enter his dreams, somehow, and he'll feel them anyway. 
To be honest, he's half and half expecting to lie awake forever. It's what usually happens after a panic attack, even though he's always completely exhausted. So exhausted that it's just impossible to fall asleep. But so much has happened since the panic attack that it feels like it happened last year, to a different guy, in a different universe. He remembers being in that bathroom with Todd, but it's almost like it wasn't him at all. He smiles again and pulls Todd a little bit closer. Todd breathes deeply and snores very lightly. 
Ian looks out, over to where the window is. The curtain is drawn, but it's thin and a little bit of light still comes through. 
Good. It means he can see as well as feel the comforting weight of Todd's head on his chest. 
"I'll love you forever." he whispers against the curls. His eyes are closing now and he feels... comfortable. The mattress is soft, and Todd weighs him down, stops him from floating off into second-guessing everything he did and said last night. He takes a deep breath and stirs slightly. 
He's done it. He's made it. They all have. 
He smiles into the curls and closes his eyes, allows Todd soft breaths to take him away to a place where bad dreams don't even exist.