Con Brio: Todd and Ian's story

30) Todd

Shit, why is Ian looking awkward? Todd comes back down from the earth shattering orgasm he's just had to find him looking away from him. Did he not like it? 
But then he sees the wet spot in Ian's trousers, and he hides a smile of relief. 
"Baby." he woos. "That... wow. That was awesome. So good. Remember what I said about you being a natural?"
Ian smiles slightly, but he doesn't look him in the eye. So Todd puts his hand on Ian's crotch and squeezes gently.
"I would ask if that was good for you, but I'm guessing this means it was okay?"
Ian nods, but the awkwardness is still painted on his face. Todd needs to take the awkward away. 
"Baby." he says gently. "I can't tell you what it means to me that you came in your jeans, doing that to me. It means I know you liked it."
The relief on Ian's face is instant. 
"Please, baby, don't ever be embarrassed about anything around me, because there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Ever." Todd carries on. "I want you heart, body and soul, you know. I want to see you come in every way possible. Nothing you do or want will faze me. Okay?"
"Oh." Ian says as his mouth falls open. 
Todd moves forward, presses himself against his love. He knows he'll be making a mess, but hasn't that ship sailed, now? He just hopes Ian has a clean pair of jeans in his case still. 
"Wow." he breathes again as he rests his head on Ian's shoulder. His whole body feels relaxed. How many guys have sucked him? Was it ever this good? His mouth is against Ian's neck, where the skin is so, so soft. "How did you know how to do that?" he asks gently.
Ian's smile against his cheek is gratifying. 
"I just... I dunno, I just tried to copy what you did last night. Did I... do okay?"
"You did awesome, baby."
"Do you mean that? I mean... you're not just saying that to make me feel better, are you?"
Todd sits up instantly. 
"What? Baby... of course I mean it. You saw me, right?"
Ian shrugs. 
"It's just... you know. I know nothing. And you've been with... well..."
It clicks in Todd's brain then, he can see why he's looking away, and for a moment he laments all the times he's told Ian about his conquests, every morning after when he's called him. It means Ian knows way, way more than he should, which is enough to make any guy insecure, really. 
"Baby. I'm with you, because I love you." he says then, willing his voice to shine with the truth he feels. "It's better than it's ever been before, because I didn't love them. I love you."
"Don't say that because it's what I want to hear." Ian whispers. 
"I'm not. I promise. It's you I want. Nobody else."

Something glows over Ian's cheeks then, and Todd knows he's averted the crisis. For now. So he lies back down and snuggles into him. In time he will be able to make Ian feel how much he loves him. He can give him time, as much as he needs. 
"Brett and Eddy looked happier." Ian says. "Are you happy with how it went?"
Todd smirks where he knows Ian can't see it. God, why is Ian so observant? He didn't want to bother his love with any of that shit. It was his mess to sort out, not Ian's.  
"Yeah. It's a start. Look, I... I have to find my ways to repay them."
"I think you're repaying them by being happy." Ian says quietly. 
Todd stills, and he is quiet for a long moment as he mulls that over. 
"It's not just that Eddy worries about you." Ian carries on. "You worry about him too, all the time. You know that, right?"
Todd shakes his head before he can tear up. Could Ian always see right through him like that? He kisses Ian on the lips and grins.  
"Right. Get out of my head, wench." he jokes. 
Ian turns to him and grins too.
"Maybe."
"Thanks, though." Todd tells him honestly. "It... it's a good point."
He still feels guilty though. 

Ian stretches out beside him, mewling softly, like the gentle purr of a cat. Was it really this simple, to get Ian to relax? All he had to do was love him? The past year plays through Todd's brain. God, if only he would have known all of this sooner. He could have made life so much better for the both of them. How fucking blind he's been. 
"So, you up for a round two?" he asks after a minute, wiggling his pelvis around, trying to keep the longing out of his voice in case Ian just wants to go to sleep. 
Ian's eyes shine. 
"Are you kidding me? Always."