Bad Intentions (Book One)

Chapter 26

My senses finally came to me and I pushed him away.

"What the hell are you doing?" I yelled at him.

"Kissing you." He answered.

"You can't just do that!" I yelled at him.

"Do what? Kiss my girlfriend." He yelled back at me.

"Kiss me after you were making out with another girl." I told him. "You don't get to kiss me and pretend like everything's okay."

"Why does it matter who the fuck I kiss? You broke up with me!" He yelled.

"God Billy your such a fucking child. I didn't break up with you. I said I wanted some time to figure out what I want. A few days so I could think without your consent interference. I can't think about anything when you're around besides you. I need to think." I told him.

"Yeah, think about if you want to stay with me or break up." He snapped at me.

"I don't want to break up, Billy. That's the last thing I want but I don't know how to make this work anymore." I told him. "That's what I wanted to figure out. How can we fix this? How to make it work. Because it's not working anymore!" I yelled at him.

I hadn't even realized I was crying until he reached over with both of his hands and used his thumbs to wipe the tears away.

"Don't cry." He said with his gentle touch.

"Don't touch me!" I said as I slapped his hands away from me.

"I'm sorry." He said as his hands dropped to his sides.

"Do you really feel like we don't work anymore?" He asked me.

"Billy, don't you? I feel like everything is falling apart." I answered him.

"I don't." He answered my question. "Look, I didn't kiss that girl."

"I have eyes, Billy." I responded.

"She kissed me." He said.

"Yeah and you didn't stop her." I snapped at him.

"I didn't like it. I wanted to. It would make everything easier if it did. Just move on to someone knew and pretend like I don't care that you're pulling away from me. But it didn't work. When I saw you dancing with Steve I just knew no matter what happens between us I will never be able to get over you." He told me and I swear my heart stopped beating and I forgot how to breathe at the same time.

I didn't want him to hang onto me forever. If we can't work this out I need to know he would be able to move on.

"First off I was dancing with Nancy and Steve. It was Nancy's idea. She was just trying to be nice because I was alone and I don't know anyone." I told him. "And secondly I would never cheat on you."

"I know." He responded.

"Then why are you acting like this?" I asked him.

"Because I know you don't want to be with me anymore." He answered.

"That's not true." I told him as I reached out and grabbed his hand. "I don't want to break up Billy."

He squeezed my hand lightly as he stared down at our hands.

"I can feel you pulling away from me." He whispered.

"I know, and I'm not trying to. It's just easier to keep some distance. I know it's not fair to you but..." I started to say but couldn't find the right words.

"But what?" He asked.

"But I'm scared that it's all going to fall apart and I'm scared that if I dont keep some distance between us it's going to destroy me." I answered him truthfully.