Twitterpated (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Chapter 38:

It was now September and all of your wedding plans were pretty much complete. You had a caterer, a florist and pretty much everything that Una insisted you needed.

It had actually been quite fun to plan all of these things with Spencer. You had spent an entire weekend stuffing your faces with the most amazing food, laughing and messing around and feeling almost like normal people. Until, there was finally a break in the Ian Doyle case...

In between cases the team had been looking into Ian Doyle and consulting with you about everything Emily had told you about Declan and Ian and even JJ had come back to the BAU in this time.

Eventually they found Ian, and Hotch came back from an assignment he had been on in Pakistan. You were all in the round table room after Morgan had come back from his latest interrogation of Doyle, "... Everybody have a seat." Hotch said, in more of a stressed tone than his normal,

"Why?" Asked Morgan, "What's going on? Everything alright?"

"7 months ago, I made a decision that affected this team..." Aaron began,  "As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle... But the doctors were able to stabilise her, and she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under a covert exfiltration." Everyone was in shock, "Her identity was strictly need to know, and she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned to Paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to for her security."

"She's alive?" Garcia asked with pain in her voice and tears in her eyes and you felt your stomach drop. Spencer sensed this in you and grabbed your hand and squeezed it gently. You could feel his pulse rising in his wrist and could sense yours was doing the same.

The whole room was stunned into silence for a moment until Spencer broke it, "But we buried her..." Spence gulped,

"As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues they should be directed toward me." Hotch stated,

"Any issues? Yeah, I got issues!" Derek shouted angrily but before he could continue you all heard footsteps in the corridor and you all turned around to see Emily stood in the doorway.

You felt your hands shaking and your stomach turning, you didn't know what to feel. Emily glanced around the room but when she saw you her expression changed. It went from apologetic to distraught. She looked at you and tears ran down her face.

"Oh my god." Garcia said in disbelief and Emily nodded slightly, like it was the hardest thing you had ever done.

"I am so sorry." Emily said to the whole room, but looking at you. The feelings of relief and happiness and sadness were suddenly all overcome by anger and you couldn't be in that room any longer.

You stormed out of the round room and into the corridor, trying to channel your anger into movement otherwise you would collapse.

"Y/N!" Emily shouted as she chased after you but you wouldn't turn around, you couldn't, "Y/N, please, wait." She only just managed to say, and for some reason you did. You stopped in your stride and turned around, "Y/N, I am so, so sorry. So unbelievably sorry to put you through this, I really am."

You couldn't get any words out, you were so upset, so angry, words couldn't describe, "But hows your boy? There isn't a day I don't think about you and him and how much I want to meet him."

This finally made your tears fall. Big, fat tears that had no stopping to them, "He's gone, Emily." You heard the round table room door open and close, "He died Emily. He never even got to meet me, let alone you." You choked through your tears and saw Spencer's face at the round table room door, obviously just hearing what you said, "When Spence told me you had died, I went into preterm labour and had a placental abruption. He was gone before he was even here." You were crying so much you didn't even know if your words were audible, but judging by the tears also falling down Emily's face and her expression they must be.

Spencer rushed towards you wrapped one arm around you, taking you away from Emily to calm down but after a few steps you stoped again, composing yourself ever so slightly, "And his name, was Reuben." You trailed off as you said and then allowed Spencer to continue guiding you away.

He took you into Garcia's office and sat you down in one of the chairs, kneeling in front of you holding your knees while your head was in your hands, "She's alive Spence."

"I know." Spencer said softly, and you felt a tear hit your knee so you lifted your head and held the base of his neck where it met his shoulders and rest your forehead against his.

"I don't know how to feel, she's alive... but if we," You coughed slightly, "I," You cried, "knew she was alive, then Reuben would be too."

"Hey, hey, Y/N." Spencer hushed, holding your face in his hands, "Y/N, this is not your fault."

3RD PERSON POV:

Emily was left stunned in the corridor, crying silently, blaming herself for Spencer and Y/N's pain. Their baby had died because of how distraught Y/N was over losing her.

"Did Y/N just tell you?" Penelope said sadly as she stood just behind Emily. She turned around slowly and nodded as she did and Penelope threw her arms around her while Emily cried into her shoulder.

Once Emily had stopped crying quite so heavily, Penelope took her back into the round table room to sit down, "Reuben?" JJ mouthed to Penelope and she nodded in response, the whole team becoming even more desolate. A mix of sadness for Spencer and Y/N, and relief that Emily was alive.

"Emily, I know you're upset, but is there anything you can tell us to help us find Declan?" Hotch asked and Emily's head slowly lifted and she wiped away her tears, trying to focus on a child she could save, not one that was already gone...

Y/N's POV:

You and Spencer sat against a wall in Garcia's office in each other's arms, all cried out and in a state of shock, just staring at the wall ahead not saying a word. An hour must have gone by before either of you said a word, just trying to comfort each other with one another's presence. "You should go back in. Try and find Declan." You said despondently, moving slightly out of Spencers embrace but he didn't move,

"Yeah... Will you be okay?"

"No. But I'll be here." You replied and Spencer kissed the side of your head as he got up slowly and headed back to the team.

A few minutes later Emily, JJ and Penelope all came into Garcia's lair to find you still sat on the ground. Emily's eyes were puffy from crying and so were yours and they all stopped in their step as they saw you. You got up slowly, still leaning against the wall and took a step forward, "I'm going to go..." You said slowly and Penelope nodded to you as she slid out the way to allow room for you to get through and you made your way back toward the round table room.

You opened the door slowly and poked your head around the door, Spencer walking towards you as soon as he saw you, "I'm going to go see Christopher, he did a flight into Virginia today and I just can't be here."

"Okay," Spencer said and took you in his arms, "I love you." He whispered and kissed your forehead,

"I love you too." You whispered back and packed up your things and headed to the entrance where the man on the front desk ordered you a cab as Spencer had driven you to Quantico that day.

After only about 15 minutes you arrived at Christopher's hotel and once you had gotten his room number from the desk you headed up. You knocked on the door and Christopher answered with his toothbrush in his mouth, "Y/N? Are you okay?" He asked, his mouth full of toothpaste and you hugged him tightly, burying your head in his chest, sobbing. "Y/N... what happened?"