Being with Michael: Part 1 (Book Two)

Chapter Sixty Eight

Paige hears the growling of tires over gravel behind her. Then the noise stops and she hears a car door close followed by the crunch of footsteps on the gravel.

"I'm sorry," she says to Javon.

"For what?" Javon asks her.

"For everything," she says. "For being the one that has to repeatedly mess everything up. For being the one to throw Michael and the kids into the tornado that's my life."

Javon walks up next to her and Paige scoots over to make room for him to sit on the hood of her car. They look out across the city and the sunset behind it.

"That's the thing, though," Javon says.

"What is?" Paige asks.

"Their life was already in a tornado when you came. You probably came at one of the worst points in his life and, if you ask me, I think you saved him," he says.

Paige scoffs. "I don't save anybody besides myself. I'm selfish that way. That's how it's always had to be."

"Well then I guess you changed," Javon says. "Because you were the one person that could bring stability to his life."

Javon pauses. "Do you want me to tell you the story of what happened when you entered the picture?"

Paige sighs. "Why not? Today's already perfect for a lot of bad news."

Javon giggles a little. "You met Michael in the beginning of 2009 when he was getting ready for his This Is It tour. Possibly everything that could have been going wrong was going wrong. Bill and I were left in Vegas while he was in LA and there was nothing we could do about it. Next thing I know, Bill calls me saying a girl called him and she was worried about Michael's well being."

Paige looks at Javon.

"That girl was you," he says.

"Michael complained to you about his management and all the ways people were abusing him for his money and his brand as the King of Pop. You saw some faxes going through at one point and you recognized Bill's name on them from Michael asking someone about where he was," Javon explains. "You figured if Michael wanted to find Bill, then you wanted to find Bill."

"So I found you guys and brought you back to LA?" Paige asks, still confused how this 'saved his life.'

"Yeah, that was step one. You brought us back, and got everyone who was put there by AEG out. You basically became his manager, because next thing we know, things are moving smoothly," he says.

"How?" Paige asks. "I did research and everything said no one knew about our relationship during the tour..."

"You used Bill as a cover," Javon says. "Michael couldn't boss everyone else around, but you could, and Michael let you, so we just went with it. Also, you sat in on meetings and used your college education as an excuse."

"Well, I always knew I was smart," Paige jokes.

Javon laughs. "And you still are."

Paige shakes her head. "No, I don't think so. Maybe I helped then, but right now it looks like I'm doing more damage than helping."

"That's not true-" Javon starts to say before Paige interrupts.

"Yes, it is. I read all about it. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't be in the public eye as much and there wouldn't be that group that caused the crash. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have been spending the last year worried about his disabled wife. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't be tortured knowing that I am a horrible human being that set herself up to forget everything about him!"

"You don't get it do you?" Javon asks her. "Mr. Jackson's always going to be in the spotlight, and there's nothing that's going to change that. But I do know that if it weren't for you, he wouldn't smile as much. Because no matter how many times something can go wrong, even if it involves you, he's always going to have more smiles than tears if he's got you around. That's how much he loves you."

Paige looks at Javon and can see the truth in his eyes. "And I can see that, and that's why I feel so horrible. I can see that he has all this love for me and all these memories of us, and I have none of it."

"You'll get it, don't worry," Javon tries to reassure her.

"I hope so," she says. "But if I don't then it's always going to be unfair to him."

Javon gives Paige a little shove with his shoulder. "Now stop acting like that. If you have worries or something to say, why don't you take it up with your husband and not your bodyguard, okay?"

Paige tries not to cringe at the words "husband" and "bodyguard." She's still not used to them.

She hops off the hood of the car and turns to Javon. "Can you drive me home?"

"What about the car?" He asks.

"We can pick it up later," Paige shrugs. "Besides, it's not like anyone's going to find it here."

They walk back over to the SUV and hop in. "Now, you're going to have to give me a little help here, because I have no clue where I am," Javon says.

Paige laughs. "Don't worry, I can get you out of here."