Perfectly Flawed

16. Crazy (Blade POV)

I smile at the picture of me holding a baby June pasted to the fridge. I remember the day like it was yesterday.
The room was full of tears and love. I cradled our brand new baby so carefully, worried about crushing her with my large size. Her whole fist was the size of my thumb, and I was immediately in awe of this little girl. Despite the lie that got us into the situation, I tried to get past the constant lies, and fighting for a whole year after she was born. I almost left the gang so I could be there for my little girl, and I was so determined to make our relationship work so that June would have 2 loving parents. It was something that neither Mercedes nor I grew up with, and I didn't want that kind of life for her. Her first relapse saw me taking June in the middle of the night, and I knew that day, this relationship could never be repaired. I still couldn't have imagined it'd go wrong this fast.
"Are you still there?"
I snap out of my thoughts with an eye roll. "Yes. Cedes, I'm still here." I look away from the picture and pour myself a cup of coffee.
"Okay, can you answer my fucking question?"
I sigh. "What was the question?"
"My lawyer just sent over another settlement offer, if you sign it before next wednesday then we can cancel the hearing." her voice irritates me.
I look at the manilla file on the table in front of me and sit down. "I don't want to settle. I want my daughter out of your care."
"OUR daughter, Blade." She cries.
"Whatever. I want majority care, at least, and like I've said a dozen times: you can't raise our baby in a fucking whorehouse."
"It's not a whorehouse, Blade. It's a club, and she lives on top of the club with me. I don't know what more you want, I already gave you so much. You see her Monday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. If you'll open the letter you'll see that this year you get her for Christmas! That's more than me! I'm trying to be nic-"
"Don't try to fucking pretend like you're doing it for me. Those are the busiest club nights, that's the only reason." I spit, ready to throw my phone across the room. "She turns 5 next month, Mercedes and she needs to be starting Kindergarten in the fall."
"No she doesn't! Some kids don't start until they're 6!"
"I'm not going to have this fight with you again, she wants to go, she's the right age and I have a better school district."
"She's living in a biker house."
"Still better than a whorehouse." I shoot back.
"It's not-"
"This conversation isn't going anywhere." I interrupt, rubbing my forehead. "We're taking this to court. I'm going to get to make the decisions when they name me as her guardian, so there's no point arguing with you any longer."
"You are such an asshole. I'm her mother! The court will give custody to me over you, I'm just trying to be accommodating!"
"You're a crack addict."
"I am not! I haven't done coke in 3 years!"
"Sorry, it was meth that you relapsed on last year." I scoff. "My bad."
"I don't do that shit anymore, I promise." She's crying now, but I know better than to trust it.
How many times would she pull those alligator tears to get her way? Dozens? Hundreds? Not falling for it. Not anymore.
"You're still in that same environment ready and able to relapse at any time, and June is not safe with you." I stand. "I'll see you at drop off on Friday."
"Blade!"
I hang up as she's about to yell again. "This is bullshit." I mutter to myself, resisting the urge to smash my phone. I don't know why we keep running in circles having the same fights over again, it's fucking pointless. Yeah, I'm worried if they're going to just see a big tatted biker and automatically pass judgement, but my lawyer said her drug past will help our case.
"Speaking of.." I roll my eyes and pick up the phone again, dialing his number.
"Office of Macalester, Munn and Yakes." His peppy receptionist answers.
"Hey, is Leroy available?"
"Leroy Yakes? May I ask who's calling?"
"It's Blade McKinnon." I start to pace the floor as she makes clicking sounds in the background.
"Oh, Blade. Yes. Mr. Yakes was just planning on calling. You caught him at the perfect time!" She cheers. "It'll just be a moment while I transfer you."
"Great." I take a sip of coffee as the line beeps.
"Leroy Yakes here." His deep voice booms through the line.
"Hey Leroy, it's Blade. How's it going?"
"Hey, dude. Pretty good, and yourself?"
I chuckle. "I got a call from Mercedes this morning."
"Ah. About the new terms she wants us to settle on?"
"Yeah, I figured she sent that to you as well. I told her no."
"I would have done the same. I really think you have a case here, and you're gonna be fine."
I crack my neck. "Yeah, I think so. How many court visits do you think this is gonna take?"
"No more than 4 I'd say." He laughs. "Anxious to be rid of the baby mama?"
"I'll never be rid of her." I snort. "But yeah these daily calls are bullshit."
"For sure, for sure." He trails off.
"Anyway, yeah that's all I had to call about, so.."
"Oh, I was meaning to tell you my rates are increasing."
I curse under my breath. "Really? Again?"
"Oh chill, man. Only $50 an hour."
"I'm already paying you $200!" I shake my head.
"Yeah, so what's $50? Don't worry about it. You won't be hardly able to tell the difference."
"I don't-"
"And it's not like you can get another lawyer who knows your case as well as I do, only a couple weeks from the trial!"
The asshole is right. "Fuck. Okay, what about-"
"Oh! I'm getting another call!" He interrupts. "Sorry man, chat later."
The line beeps. "Are you kidding me?" I huff. What a day.
I shrug on my jacket, and throw on a pair of converse shoes, deciding that work is the best thing to do right now.
"Hey man." Gut's chilling in the lounge area when I walk in, and I nod before sitting down.
"How's it goin?"
"Cars is pissing me the fuck off." He snorts. "What about you?"
I laugh. "Yeah everyone is pissing me the fuck off today. Cedes keeps trying to get me to settle and my lawyer is increasing his prices. Again."
"Shit, man." He gives me a sympathetic smile.
I stand. "Whatever, I'm going to go check if I have something better to do." I nod goodbye and head to the end of the hallway, to the design room. 
It's basically exactly what I imagine a gothic art class or the back of the tattoo shops look like, random sketches of skulls and scribbled charcoal designs pinned on cork board walls, a wraparound desk with lots of space for everyone to work, and a big desk in the center of the room, drawers bursting with art supplies and sketchbooks, the top is littered with broken pencils, order slips and half smoked joints.
Artist shit.
You always have to knock on the door before you arrive, because most of the design team likes to hotbox the place while they draw and listen to music, forgetting to turn on the fan.
This room is connected to the painting rooms so it's well ventilated, there's a switch on each wall that runs a fan to circulate the air around, and, being attached to the painting area, the door on the far wall leads to the outside. Despite the circulation we have available, it always smells like weed in here. Drives JT crazy, but it's the furthest room in the club so he really has nothing to complain about.
I rap my knuckles against the frame, and hear the call out: "come in!"
I open the door, surprised it's only Gemini in here.
"Hey what's up?" I frown. "Why're you alone?"
She looks up from her sketchbook at my approaching figure. "Scar's painting and that mullet freak left again."
"Alex?"
She nods and snaps her gum in her mouth. "Creepy fucker."
My fatherly instincts flare up and I look at the camera in the corner of the room. "What did he do? Should I look at the footage?"
She snorts. "No, he's just weird. He doesn't talk to me at all, only Scar but if it's just me in the room he'll just stare like he wants to talk but won't."
"Oh." I feel my pulse slow down again. "Well okay."
"Listen, I understand that every year a bunch of you old fucks retire and then a bunch of prospects come in, but this year's prospects are duds. Every one of em' is trash."
I snort. "I'm not old or retiring so don't group me in there, and also what's wrong with them? Obviously not a fan of Alex, that's fine, but what about the others?"
"Well Alex can't even really draw, and do we need yet another person who doesn't design and only paints the pre color? I love Ink, but if he wasn't good with customers, I don't think he'd be part of the paint shop. I say toss 'em out and try again."
I frown. "Toss who out? Ink or Alex?"
"Alex, and the rest of the prospect duds." She huffs and goes back to her sketching.
"What about Dalton?"
"LF kicked him out in less than a day, and I think he's hangin with Doc now."
I frown again. "Why the fuck does Doc need a prospect?"
"God, you're slow." She mutters under her breath, before turning to me saying: "beCAUSE he's a dud and nobody else wants him, especially us. Same deal with that Marcus kid, he's in the shop but the idiot doesn't even know what a piston is, and the other one -whatever the fuck his name was- decided he didn't need to wear a welding helmet so Cars tossed him out on his ass. Gut's all butt-hurt about it cuz he liked the kid but he's a fucking idiot who's gonna cost us a lawsuit."
"Geez." I mutter.
"We need to get rid of Alex, he's never even around anyway. Most prospects at least act like they want to be here."
"I'll talk to LeadFoot about it." I nod. "It's weirdly slow in here today, though."
"Yeah no new orders have come in." She looks up at me again. "So if that's why you're here, sorry."
I shrug. "It's fine I just had a shitty day so I was looking for something to do."
"Did you finish all your designs?"
"Yeah, Ink's just gotta get back to me about the client then I can stencil them out and paint."
She nods. "Well then, sorry."
"All good, I'm just gonna go for a walk. Is JT back yet?"
"Left this morning, didn't talk to anyone when he went. Mag told me."
"At least he's left his room." I shrug. Not sure what the drama is with that situation, but word is it has something to do with Kasei. I'd text Dakota and ask, but she hasn't messaged back since shutting me down when I asked her out again. I usually don't care, hell I don't usually even talk to women, but something about her drives me crazy.
"Oh, woah. What's that look for?"
"Huh?" I snap out of my thoughts. "Oh nothing."
"Mhm." She puts down her pencil and stares at me with narrowed eyes. "Is this about that waitress?"
"What?" How she can immediately hit the nail on the head with these things, I'll never know.
"We were talking about JT, who we all think was broken up with, and then you got this far off look in your eyes as if you were thinking about a girl." Gem crosses her skinny arms in front of her.
"Okay, not saying your mom wasn't a nutjob, but she might've not been far off with that psychic thing..."
"I'm good at reading people." She rolls her eyes. "Spill."
"No, there's nothing to say. I asked her out the other day and she shut me down. Which is good, that's fine, honestly because the last thing I need right now is another woman in my life to complicate things, but I think she likes me, and maybe I like her but I shouldn't..." I drift off. "I don't know, it's fine I don't want to start anything with her."
"Mhm." She hums.
I scratch the back of my neck. "Anyway.."
"See if you first told me about her when you were sober, I might believe you don't like this girl. But you got back from that date to a hotboxed paint shop and almost immediately started gushing about her, so I don't really believe a thing that comes out of your mouth."
"She doesn't like me."
"Really?"
"I don't know, she tells me that, but then the other day she called me on the phone for like 2 hours and so I don't know..." I trail off.
"Mhm." She nods. "Well I don't know her so I don't know if she does or not, but you need to find that out, asap or you're just a creepy stalker."
I roll my eyes. "Thanks. I'm going now."
I head out of the clubhouse and down the street to the little park nearby that June and I usually frequent.  I'm prepared for what the courts might say, and I know what Mercedes says, but we're in a good area of the city. Close to the more suburb-ish area, like where Dakota lives, and there's multiple parks and a couple schools close by. I wouldn't mind moving out of the club and into a little house in the area, if that's what they determined was best for June.
I break out of my train of thought when I see a familiar figure with her back to me, sitting on the bench.
"Fuck." I murmur to myself. Speak of the devil and he may appear, I guess. Do I go to the other park a couple blocks down? Do I say hi? I blow out a breath and continue walking over there. Okay, don't be a pussy. Just start talking.
"Funny seeing you here." I tap her shoulder as I near the side of the bench.
She jumps and her fist comes flying out. This time, though, I see it coming and I catch her wrist.
"Oh fuck! Um, hi Blade..." She looks embarrassed, and looks down at her captured hand.
I let go. "Almost deviated my septum again." I chuckle.
"Sorry, but why would you sneak up on me like that?" She rolls her eyes. "Almost gave me a fucking heart attack." She adjusts her messy bun.
"My bad." I lick my lower lip and grin, looking down at her.
"Um..." She clears her throat and looks down at the pile of art stuff on the bench beside her, self consciously closing the sketchpad in front of her. "Sorry, um... why don't you sit?"
"Sure." The way she goes from confident to stutter-y in a couple seconds is so cute to me. I know why she does it, I do the same thing. It's easier to stay hidden and remain invulnerable when you paint a confident face on. We all have things to hide.
"So, uh..." She trails off again, fumbling with the strap of her tote bag beside her.
"Whatcha doing here?" I break the silence.
"I'm just, I dunno...drawing and stuff."
"Nice, nice."
"What about you? Why are you disturbing my peace and quiet?" A smile flickers across her lips with her teasing tone.
"I just need to get outside, sometimes. Work is slow today so I figured I'd go for a walk, this park is the one that June and I usually go to."
"Oh, right yeah I guess the clubhouse is just a couple blocks down and then you turn on sm-"
"On Smith." I finish for her. "Yeah it's close."
"Well that's awesome..." She nods. "It's not so close to me, I drove here but honestly it's probably only like a 40 minute walk away, so I could definitely walk if I wanted. It's good to get away from the noise sometimes, you know."
"Oh so Kasei came home?"
"Oh yeah I guess I forgot to tell you. So yeah I had a weird morning JT came over all sad he wanted to talk to Kasei and just as I was in the process of telling him oh hey I don't actually know where she is, guess who pops into the house?" Dakota rolls her eyes.
"Wow. Weird timing."
"Yeah, I know. Anyway they talked shit out, but basically it was a miscommunication and they're fine now."
"Ah, I see. And now he's over there?"
"Yeah. so you can understand the need for peace and quiet." She giggles.
"Gotcha. Well you could always just drown them out with your own noise." It comes out more flirty than I was trying to.
"I could, but I don't want to be noisy alone." She looks at me under her eyelashes. "I'd have to find a volunteer."
Damn. "Well, that can't be hard to find. Look at you." My voice gets lower as images of that dance in my head.
She crosses her legs, and clears her throat. "Right, well can't be you, I'm not having sex with you."
"Right." I chuckle. "We had said that."
"Yeah." Her voice gets breathy for a second, and she clears her throat, looking away.
"Sorry for disturbing you, then." I smirk. I knew I made her feel something.
"Oh it's okay. I have to go back soon anyway." She clears her throat again, uncrossing and crossing her legs again. "But you're not the worst company."
I find myself smiling and I look away from her for a second, as we sit in the silence for a couple moments. "If that's so, you should go out to dinner with me again."
"I said no to you before." She chuckles, grabbing her bag to start packing supplies into it.
"Oh I know." I grab the pencil from behind her ear. "I'm just wondering if you really meant it."
A smile grows on her face so she looks away. "I already said we aren't having sex."
"I know. I mean we'd be going to dinner platonically, as friends." I chuckle.
"Well you can't be pinning me up against things and looking at me like that if we're friends." She finishes packing her bag and looks at me.
"But I like pinning you against things and looking at you." I murmur with a smile.
She bites her inner cheek, muttering curses to herself. "I really don't like you, you know."
"Really?" I feel myself get serious for a second, thinking back to what Gemini said earlier.
"Well." The flirtatious grin is back and my fears are eased. "I guess it depends..." She stands and I follow suit.
"Depends on?" I walk step in step with her as she heads towards her sleek little sports car.
"If you're going to continue to try to turn me on."
"I'm turning you on right now?" I try to stop the grin growing on my face but I can't.
"What? I...no I didn't say that I'm just..." Dakota trails off, flustered as we reach the car.
"You know you should probably get someone to help you deal with that." I grin.
"I could if I wanted to." She huffs.
I try not to let my grin fade at the thought of anyone else touching her except me. You don't have a reason to be possessive over her. She's not yours. I shake the thoughts out of my head. "Well good, because I'm just being my typical charming self, I'm not intending to turn you on." I'm happy I am, though.
"I didn't say you were."
"Mhm." I hum, stepping right up close to her.
She swallows hard and backs up right against her car. Right where I want her.
"It's just, if I was going to turn you on deliberately, I think you'd know."
"Yeah..." She breathes out, looking everywhere but me again.
"I'd pin you like this..." I press my hard body against her small soft frame. "I'd do this..." Still looking down at her, I run my fingertips across her hand lightly, up her arm, dancing on the strap of her shoulder, up the side of her neck and slide across to her chin. My fingers rest there for a beat, maybe two before I tilt her head up to mine with the 2 fingers under her chin.
Her breathing has become heavier and her eyes flutter closed for a second as I get closer to her.
Oh the things I wish I could do. Just being this close to her has my pants tightening. I lean in to her ear, and whisper: "If I was turning you on you would know I was doing deliberately. I'd have every inch of your body aching for me to touch you."
She gasps at my words.
I pull away, and take a step back from her. "But!" I say in my regular talking voice. "We're friends, so I wouldn't do that to you."
Her cheeks are tinted red and she's gnawing on her inner cheek as her eyes flash. How I'd love to know the true thoughts behind those expressive eyes of hers.
"I hate you." She clears her throat. Her eyes are roaming down my body and she licks her lips once, twice before shaking her head.
"You've said." I smile and she shakes her head.
"But I don't feel anything, so it's fine. I'll just hate you as your friend."
"Right. Yeah." I smirk again. "So I'll text you about which days work for the dinner." 
She closes her eyes then opens them. "Whatever. Maybe I won't answer them."
"Sure, if that's what you want, but like I said I'm an awesome friend, so. If you get over how bad you wanna do me you'll see."
Dakota scoffs. "I don't wanna do you, you want to do me."
oh fuck do I ever.  "Mhm...Sure." I nod with a smile that causes her to shake her head and open her car door. 

"Whatever. Bye friend."

"Bye. Text me when you're home safe." I chuckle as she flips me off and speeds out of the parking spot.
                    Man, she drives me crazy.

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Writing from his perspective was really fun, and we just KNOW what's in her head too and MMM
okay ily all
Vote, comment, share this w your friends pls
Cass