Natasha Romanoff & Scarlett Johansson Imagines

choice - nr.

Growing up, you were always the last choice, and if not, you were never the first. And you felt as though you're having major déjà vu with what's happening for the past few days.

Now, you had your suspicions. Natasha was seeing someone else. Back then you weren't so sure, because you knew Natasha liked you. But, as of late, you know what you were feeling was right. Although it hasn't been a year since you and Natasha started dating, the suspicion you had had been going on for a few weeks now.

You were certain Natasha was seeing Steve. It started gradually; being distant toward you, coming to bed at the ungodly hours of 3AM, or not coming to bed at all. Lately, you catch Natasha and Steve being closer than usual—too close for friends. You always saw them together and Natasha barely spent any time with you.

Eventually, you had enough. You kept your distance from Natasha as well, trying your best to leave the room when she enters. It was doing fine until Natasha noticed. She entered your shared bedroom—one where she barely sleeps in for the past few weeks—and confronted you about your avoidance of her.

"Are you avoiding me?"

"No." You answered with no emotion as you read your book.

"Well you seem pretty distant these past few days." She reasoned.

"Yeah, no shit." You mumbled under your breath, enough for Natasha to hear but not enough for her to understand.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. If you have nothing else for me then you can go out." You say, still not looking up from your book.

Natasha rolled her eyes at you, annoyed at your attitude but went out your room nonetheless.

A few moments after that interaction, you slumped your book and started to tear up. Almost every relationship you had, be it friends or romantically, you were always a second choice. Always was a background character in everyone else's story, even your own.

For another few weeks, every single day, has been like before. Natasha ignoring you most of the time, except for when Steve is away on a mission does she run to you. It makes you sad and frustrated how you allow her to just run to you whenever her first choice is not around. You got used to being alone. It's easier to be alone, though no one wants to be. The pain is just less to be alone by choice than not being someone's first.

You never thought it would come to this moment but you wanted to confront Natasha. But you've been procrastinating it since this morning, and because of that, Natasha beat you to it. She went into the room, "can we talk?"

You paid your attention to her, expecting what she's going to say so you're ready for whatever she throws at you. Expect disappointment, then you can never really get disappointed.

You just stayed silent, waiting for her to spill everything.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I've been seeing Steve and..." She pauses, figuring out how she will tell you. "I love him."

Your breath hitched, still kind of shocked with the news. Because the moment Natasha told you, it was real. It was not suspicions anymore, it was true. You stayed silent, not knowing what to say. You just thought, life is full of multiple choice questions, and it just so happens that I'm never the right answer.

"Okay."

"Okay?" She mirrored, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I've had my fair share of suspicions. Though I'd never thought what I was thinking was actually right. I guess it always ends this way."

"I'm really sorry. I did like you, I did. But, Steve—"

"I know, Natasha. I know." You both stayed silent for a while, when you broke the silence.

"I felt like it was different with you, I thought it'll.." You shook your head as you looked at your lap. "Why did I think this time would be different."

"Y/N—"

"Don't. Just.. I can't keep being anyone's second choice, not when I'll choose you in a heartbeat. But at least I was a choice, just not the one you wanted. At the end of the day, I'll never be the first star you gaze on when the night falls." Tears were starting to make their way out of your eyes, your voice tremulous.

"There's no certainty you'll come back, but I'll always be here, just in case."

Natasha's gaze softens before you as you finished talking. She went to you and hugged you, tight. You actually thought it would all work out in the end. And it did, just not for you. Though you've experienced this before, it's just this time, it hurt even more. As Natasha went out the room, there was silence in the dark again. Fighting the good memories that only you saw while she shut the door.