Dahyun lets out a heavy sigh as she stares up at the ceiling. She closes her eyes and tries to ignore the discomfort she feels, the sadness that is aching her heart over the fact that the bed she is lying in is not Momo's. It's not hers either. It belongs to the girl Dahyun has been using as a
distraction to try and forget how heartbroken
she feels ever since Momo and her broke up just a few weeks ago.
It feels like forever since she lost Momo. She misses the girl so much. The ache in her heart is so strong that she doesn't know how to cope. But after some of her friends that she vented to persuaded her nonstop about going out, she met the girl who is laying beside her now.
Dahyun is not even serious about it, she doesn't even know anything about the girl yet. They met up at the her place, ate dinner together, and then she offered Dahyun to sleep over due to the rainy weather. So that means they didn't have any intimate moments. Dahyun didn't think they would anyway. She can't.
Still, Dahyun is trying to move on like Momo has. Although her group members constantly tell her that Momo is not seeing anyone and misses her just as much, Dahyun always sees Momo so incredibly happy whenever they're at practice. Dahyun worries that Momo might be happier without her now.
But the longer Dahyun lies awake, the more heartbroken she becomes, the more she thinks about how cold and unfamiliar the bed feels, how it isn't Momo's, which is the one she has slept in more than her own. Dahyun knows she can't continue doing whatever she is doing. It's all just too soon and too much. She can't keep lying to herself by saying that she can move on and find happiness again.
She pushes away the blanket and sits up. The
sleeping girl slightly changes her position, but doesn't wake up. So, Dahyun quietly grabs a notebook laying on the nightstand and flips to an empty page. She grabs a pen and quickly writes an apology.
She writes about how she hates to be doing this, but she simply can't be with the girl any longer. Dahyun wishes her the very best in life, hoping for all her dreams and wishes to come true. Dahyun knows the girl can find someone great, someone better, someone who can truly love and commit to her.
Eventually, Dahyun puts her shoes on and walks out the door. She drives home, back to her apartment.
Although the apartment is hers and always has been, it doesn't feel like a home to her. She has spent more time at Momo's than her own place for quite some time in their relationship. They were so serious that they even talked about moving in together. But then, life got in the way.
Their schedules were busier than ever and they agreed it would be best to end things, at least for a while. The time they saw each other the most was during practice, but they all had to focus on dancing and singing, so they wouldn't have been able to talk to each other anyway. But eventually, Dahyun realized that it was a stupid and wrong choice. She lives in regret each and every day, her head hurts.
She walks through her front door and goes
right to her room, putting her phone on charge and getting into bed without changing her clothes to try to sleep. But she lies awake again despite the fact that the sun is starting to rise. She probably won't get any sleep tonight, but she thinks she'll be fine as it won't be the first time without sleep since they broke up.
She misses how Momo was only a phone call away to come right over and hold her, kiss her to sleep. Dahyun can't get the older one out of her mind, she hasn't ever since that day. But tonight feels different. It's like she can't suppress the urge that she feels to hear Momo's voice and tell her how she literally can't live without her.
It eventually makes Dahyun reach for her phone and tap on the girl's name. Dahyun bites her lip, trying hard not to cry. She can't help but wonder. Momo is still the love of her life, but is she still Momo's? She presses call and places the phone against her ear. She doesn't think Momo is going to answer, but she does.
