Momo stares at her phone, rereading the same message that Dahyun had sent her over an hour ago. "Meet me at midnight?"
This is the third time this week that Dahyun asked her to sneak out and see her. Momo is getting kind of tired of it. If they were actually going out it would be a different story, but Momo knows that it will be the same as always. The two of them sitting in an empty parking lot, making awkward small talk until one of them blurts out how desperately they want to be together. As if this were the 1950s and they couldn't hold hands in public. Nevertheless, she is still going. If not to tell Dahyun how she really feels about the situation, at least to see her face again.
By the time she gets there, her mind is reeling. Dahyun is perched on the hood of her car, waiting for her to show up. It was kind of romantic the first and second time they snuck out, but now it feels like their lighthearted romance has turned into a serious drama. When Dahyun spots Momo's car, she quickly fixes her hair and sits up straighter. It makes Momo smile a little, but it isn't enough to take away the feeling that is nestled inside of her gut.
"I didn't know if you were coming." Dahyun sighs with relief, holding a hand out for Momo to take.
"I always do," Momo says. She takes the offered hand, but she just can't bring herself to look up at the girl.
"What's wrong?" Dahyun asks. One part of her wants to pull Momo closer, but the other part makes her drop Momo's hand instead. Why? Because that feels easier for Dahyun.
"I'm just getting a little tired of hiding like this," Momo admits, finally raising her gaze. She wishes that she hadn't when their eyes meet. Dahyun's eyes are so big and dark, taken aback by the confrontational words.
"I don't know what else to do." Dahyun wraps her arms around herself. She suddenly looks cold, but it isn't even that cold outside.
"We could try to go out for real," Momo says, grabbing Dahyun by the shoulders, but not in an aggressive way. In fact, she is extra gentle with it.
So gentle that the feeling of her fingertips make Dahyun's insides warm. But her arms are still around herself and she still looks cold.
"I don't know," she takes a step back, "I can't."
Momo is left stunned by the action. She has been more than patient with Dahyun, but this feels like a hard slap in the face.
"Do you know how it feels to be hidden away by somebody you love? To be their dirty little secret?" she asks, tears pooling in her eyes.
Dahyun is quick to close her own eyes to avoid the image of Momo crying being burned into her brain. She shakes her head. "This isn't fair."
"What you're doing isn't fair!" Momo sobs out. She has never raised her voice at Dahyun before, but she gets dangerously close in this moment. "You tell me that you love me like I love you, but you can barely even touch me. You don't even look at me half of the time!"
Dahyun slightly flinches, then slowly opens her eyes to make a point. She is crying too now, her eyes rimmed with red and tears sparkling on her cheeks. When she makes eye contact with Momo, it feels like a cosmic shift has just taken place. Dahyun has never doubted her feelings for the girl standing in front her, but she is so afraid of what everyone would think if she said the words out loud. She can't bare losing Momo.
"All of this is new to me, okay?" Her voice is shaky, also on the verge of shouting. "It took me six years to finally admit to myself that I like you. How could I possibly just suddenly confess that I like a girl? I can't do that, I'm an idol."
"I'm an idol too. I'm not saying that we should make out in public, I just want to do what other couples do! Walk hand in hand, eat ice cream together, maybe even wear matching clothes." Momo is still crying, her eyes already swollen and cheeks tinted pink. "I don't want to spend time with you only at odd hours in the dark."
