Bee Boi and Me | Dream Smp

Spiraling Thoughts

It was pitch black outside, and I was relying more on my memory than my sight to find my way to the meeting point. It was a new moon, so though the sky was clear, only stars provided meager light from the world above. The L'Mantree was outside of the rebuilt area of L'Manberg, and so the lanterns in town did not hold much use to me. The flickering flames reflected in the rippling water below the walkways, a hazy glow visible in the darkness.

I stepped lightly across the open plain as the frost-glazed grass crunched softly beneath my shoes. A silver-gray cloak was pulled over my shoulders, billowing behind me each time a gust of wind blew past. I held onto the silky fabric with my left hand and carried my sword in my right.

I approached the tree. Its branches loomed over me, reaching out like sharp-clawed fingers. The darkness really did make things look differently. If it were day, it would have been pleasant to sit and relax in the shade of its canopy.

Then, I noticed two figures up ahead. One was leaned against the trunk while the other stood at his side—both facing in my direction. They stepped out of the darkness as I appraoched. Phil offered a joyless smile to me while Techno's expressions stayed blank.

"Techno. Phil," I greeted in a quiet voice. I slung the strap of my sword over one shoulder.

"(Y/n)," Techno responded.

"I hope you realize how dangerous this is. I should have torn that paper apart and gone to bed instead of participating in this little reunion." I crossed my arms across my chest.

The pigman chuckled lightheartedly. "Well, you didn't. And that says something, doesn't it?"

I flashed an accusatory look at him. Techno grinned at me, having proven his point.

"Oh stop, that's not the point," Phil sighed. He walked over to stand in the space of grass between myself and Techno. "We're just here to talk. On friendly terms."

"Friendly? I see nothing friendly about agreeing to work with Dream in order to destroy our nation. Why? Why are you doing this?"

Techno stepped towards me. He was a couple inches taller than me, so I had to tilt my head up in order to meet his eyes. I could sense the sincerity in his expression, even before he opened his mouth to speak. "They betrayed me, (Y/n). Over and over again. Phil and I agree that this country has never done good for anyone. It's time that L'Manberg came to an end."

"What does that have to do with me?" I asked, "I already knew your stances."

"I don't want you to get hurt in the fighting. It's going to be dangerous."

I raised an eyebrow. The male gave a quick nod, as if to assure me that he meant every word he spoke. I shifted in place. "I really don't like the sound of that now. You know something and you're not telling me, are you?"

"We can't, (Y/n)," Phil cut in, "we can only warn you."

"I can't abandon Tubbo."

"(Y/n), can't you see?" Techno exclaimed in a hushed whisper, his eyes flashing red, "all this country has done is cause problems! It forced Phil to kill Wilbur. It forced Tommy into exile. It pushed Schlatt to the edge, leaving him no way out except for death. Leaving you all alone! Don't you remember when you first came, you so badly wanted to leave? What changed, (Y/n)? Is it just because of Tubbo?"

"I–" My mouth struggled to form words.

"Face it, (Y/n). This country should have died long ago." Techno turned and took a step back. Then he flipped around and looked at me again, his eyes dark. "You care about Tubbo, right? Well have you thought about how much this country has hurt him? His relationship with Tommy was broken, all because he put this country first."

"And what about Schlatt?" Phil added softly, "he lost his mind over L'Manberg. He got the power that he wanted, but he fell into a black hole of paranoia and despair. You saw it yourself, didn't you? No matter what the man did—he was your brother, (Y/n). His blood runs in your veins, as yours did in his. Doesn't it hurt you inside knowing what this country did to him?"

My hands closed into fists at my side. Pictures were flashing in my mind, one after another, like a movie of my life since we stepped foot on the Prime Path. I began to see every event from a different perspective. I saw Schlatt's fall from power through the eyes of a sister. Sure, his actions were inexcusable,  but why did I just stood aside and watched him die?

I saw Wilbur's death through the eyes of a companion. We may not have been close, but we had lived in Pogtopia together as well as worked together for the war effort. Plus, Wilbur was close with Tommy and Tubbo.

I saw Tommy's exile through the eyes of a bystander. Dream had forced the blonde to be separated from everyone he cared for because of a fixable mistake. Tommy had suffered, and yet we did nothing because Dream had threatened L'Manberg. Why? Why did put the country before Tommy?

Was it really worth it?

I pictured Tubbo hunched over his desk in the White House. Ruffling through papers and crème colored file folders—head leaned on his left arm as he struggled to keep his eyes open in the latest hours of the night. I could see his pale face in my memory, the stress showing in his expression. I thought back to all the meetings we had in the office. We sat and discussed matters relevant to the nation. None of those things were truly of any importance, yet they had become so due to the existence of L'Manberg.

All this I had known. I had never deeply thought about them until now as Techno forced me to do so. I had pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and focused on whatever was at hand. Tubbo had been my priority then and still was now. But I wanted the best for both of us, and if that meant sacrificing this abstract concept of independence—

I looked back to Techno again. He tilted his head to the side, a curious expression on his face. There was a grin tugging at his lips, almost a look of satisfaction. The pigman knew exactly what conclusion I would end with. It didn't matter what he said or how persuasive he tried to be—he already knew my answer before asking Phil to send that letter.

But he wanted to prove a point.

He knew me all too well. But I knew him, too.

"You know where my priorities lie. I can't, Techno."

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A/n - tada! I offer you a chapter :]
Hope you enjoyed this one! I can't say for sure, but I should be able to post the next chapter in the next week or so. If you didn't read the Update that came before this chapter, I suggest doing so :)
Love you guys!! <33
~Echo