Inconvenient Attachment

Chapter 29

I put my hands on his chest creating what little distance I can between the two of us but he doesn't budge. "Rafe." I repeat his name.

"Nessa." He says my name jokingly.

"What are you even doing here?" I look up at him, my expression serious. He notices and his joking exterior falls serious too.

"What do you mean, what am I doing here?" He furrows his brows at me confused.

I sigh frustratedly. I'm tired of beating round the bush with Rafe. I'm tired of encountering moments like this but then having my heart crushed when he reminds me we will always be nothing. "I mean what are you doing here with me. Your little sisters annoying best friend as you've always liked to refer to me as."

His eyes flicker down to my lips and then back up to my eyes. "Well you grew up... and you could say you're not as annoying as you use to be." He grins at his joke.

I swat his chest playfully giggling at his joke but hoping deep down he meant it. Hoping he sees me differently now. "You're still extremely annoying, that hasn't changed." I tease and he chuckles.

"Wanna leave this shitty outdoor movie?" He offers knowing full well I am going to accept his offer.

I nod. "Yes please."

He holds his hand out to me and I jump down from the sink counter. He links his hand in mine before leading me out of the toilets. We hear arguing in the distance and see the kooks and the Pogues arguing with two security guards. We exit in the opposite direction without being seen and head towards our street.

We laugh as we recap tonights events and find ourselves in front of my door, the lights are all out and I remember mom is at the country club tonight. I am about to say goodnight but Rafe talks first.

"Do you want to stay at mine?" He blurts out but seeming pleased with himself that he did.

"Sure." I smile trying not to sound too eager. "I'll just grab my stuff." I unlock my front door. Rafe follows after me into the darkness before I switch on the lights.

He closes the front door after himself and we slip off our shoes. I walk up the stairs and he is behind me the entire time. I walk into my room switching on the light and close the door after Rafe.

He admires my bedroom that I'm positive has not changed since the last time he was in here, whilst I throw what I need into a bag. "Your room hasn't changed at all since the last time I saw it." He starts touching things on my desk knocking stuff over.

I grab his hand pulling it away from my desk in a way to tell him to stop touching my things. "Yeah and you haven't changed since the last time when you also made a mess."

He chuckles at my remark. "Actually the last time I was in here was the first time that we-"

"Yeah, I remember." I interrupt him smiling sheepishly as I feel my cheeks burn as he starts to recount that particular memory. My first kiss. Yes, my first kiss was with Rafe Cameron. I was 11 and he was 13. I wasn't sure if he even remembered but he did, he does.

His phone suddenly pings slicing the silence around us. He pulls it from his back pocket reading the message on the front. The left side of his mouth upturns slightly, suggesting he is pleased with the message he has just received.

"Listen, I have to go somewhere but you'll see me tomorrow." He walks towards the door without glancing in my direction.

"Oh, okay. See you tomorrow, Rafe." I squeak out trying my best to sound unbothered but feeling extremely bothered. And without as so much as a goodbye, he disappears downstairs and I hear the door click closed after him.

I don't know exactly where Rafe had to rush off to but my mind has an idea. I hope it's not to meet some girl who he'd rather have in his company instead of me. I hope it's not back to the outdoor movie after he nearly ended up scrapping with my friends. It could be either of those things but my mind is almost certain he's on his way to Barry's to get high.

***

A continuous ping comes from my nightstand waking me up. I open my eyes to my dark room being lit up by my phone screen. The sky is pitch black and my clock reads 2am. I rub my eyes trying to wake myself up before grabbing my phone to read the screen.

Rafe: Nessa?

Rafe: Come to mine?

Rafe: Ness?

Rafe: Are you awake?

Rafe: I'll come get you?

Rafe: Nessa wake up please?

Me: I'm awake.

Rafe: Come to mine?

Me: Rafe it's 2am?

Rafe: I'll come meet you?

Me: Are you high?

Rafe: So what if I am?

Me: So you ditched me for drugs?

Rafe: I'm messaging you now aren't I?

Me: Night Rafe.

Rafe: So you're not coming?

I shake my head at his final message feeling frustrated that he believes I'll just run to him at any given chance. I silence my phone throwing it back on my nightstand before turning over and falling back to sleep.

Rafe POV:

I sit staring at our conversation waiting on her reply. She has seen my last message but is no longer typing. Feeling nothing but pent up anger I throw my phone across the living room of Barry's trailer and it lands in the middle of the musky cushions on the tatty sofa opposite.

"Fuck!" I hiss, running my fingers through my hair slicking it back.

Barry appears in the doorway of the trailer. "Now why the hell are you angry?"

Completely ignoring his question I resort to what I always do when my head feels like it's about to explode. "I need some more coke."

"You just had some coke Rafe, why you need more drugs bro?"

Before realising what I'm saying, the words fall from my lips. "I need to get my mind off this girl."

Barry grins with his crooked rotten teeth on display. "Ohh, country club has a little crush?" He teases childishly.

But he's right. I think. Do I like Nessa? or do I just like her company? Either way we can't be together! She's my best friends little sister. Topper would go insane if he thought there was anything between me and Nessa. "I can't be with her, she's driving me insane!" I sigh with frustration, scanning Barry's trailer for any leftover coke or even a half smoked joint.

He throws himself back onto the cracked leather couch opposite me sitting beside my phone. I can't help but glance over at it wishing it would just light up with a message from Nessa saying she's changed her mind and wants to see me. "Why the hell can't you be with her?"

"She's my best friends little sister and she's always with them Pogues, man."

His eyes light up. He knows exactly who I'm talking about. "Ohh yeah! You mean that hot blonde chick I met at the beach party?"

"Don't-" I stop myself when I realise I've raised my voice as soon as Barry mentions her. Hearing him call her hot drives an uncontrollable rage through me that makes me want to reach over and snap his neck with ease. "Don't fucking talk about her." I lower my voice but keep my tone laced with warning.

Barry holds his hands up laughing his common crackhead laugh. "Fuck that man if I had the chance to be with a chick that hot, I'd take it."

I remain silent, the urge to drive my fist into his face knowing he's thinking about my Nessa the same way I think about her.

"Actually if you're serious about not being with her, I might-"

I interrupt him by standing to my feet and lunging at him, he flinches believing that I'm going to hit him but I grab my phone before storming out of his trailer and pacing my way back up to figure eight.