Chapter 55

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There's a bonfire on the beach tonight, JJ convinced me to go with them. It didn't take much convincing, I needed to blow off some steam, and fast. Although I'm not sure being around Kie after seeing that text is a good idea.

I choose to take the risk anyways and find myself walking into the chateau. "Hellooo, you losers ready?" My voice echoes through the laminated home.

The bathroom door swings open and a half naked John B appears drying his hair with a towel over his head. I hear another door open and a half naked JJ runs past John B and disappears into the bathroom, I don't even bat an eyelid. After growing up with these boys, I'm use to it. "JJ's just got to get a shower and I need to get dressed."

"Where's Pope and Kie?" I help myself to a can of cider from the fridge, popping it open.

"Pope isn't here yet and Kie is outside waiting for us. She got sick of JJ putting on an awful live concert." John B answers before disappearing into his bedroom. Again, I don't even ask. Instead I jog down the porch steps and join Kie on the hammock.

She gives me a small smile. I offer my drink and she takes a few mouthfuls before handing it back. I notice her staring into space with a frown.

"What's up?" Our legs on the floor slightly rock the hammock in sync.

She sighs debating whether or not to tell me the truth or give me the famous bullshit line of: 'I'm fine.'

Truth it is.

"I need to tell you something." She hesitates.

"Anything Kie, you know that." I place my hand on her knee trying my best to reassure her.

"But you can't tell anyone." She's stalling. She knows if she ever told me anything in confidence I would take it to my grave.

"I'm the best secret keeper." I remind her.

"You remember my kook year?" She gulps, beads of sweat evident on her forehead as she digs her nails into her legs. She stops for a second debating whether or not to go through with it.

"Yes..." I answer hesitantly unsure of where she's going with this.

"Something happened." She chews on her lip anxiously.

I give her knee a squeeze letting her know it's okay. "Kie, whatever it is, you can tell me."

She nods finally trusting me to come out with whatever she has to say. The words which follow, I never expected to hear come from her mouth.

"I slept with Rafe."

The words knocked the life out of me. Winding me like a boulder to the gut. I snatch my hand away from her like I'd been scorched by fire, never wanting to touch her again. I can't see nothing but the image of her and Rafe touching each other flashing through my mind.

That was all I needed to hear. The words which confirmed what I already knew, what I kept pushing away to the back of my mind every single time it crept back up again.

The world is in slow motion. Anything she is saying after those words is mute. I can't hear nothing but my heart thudding in my ears. I can feel the black hole spinning out of control in my stomach and the bile rising at the back of my throat.

I don't realise how much time has passed when I feel arms wrap around me and I catch Kies last words before she skips away. "Thanks for listening, V." She chirps before diving into the Twinkie.

JJ's voice brings me back up to earth. "Yo, V! You coming?" He gestures to the open side door of the Twinkie.

I don't answer. I don't even nod. I just get up, walk over and climb in. Silence is all I can manage.

The pogues laugh and joke around me whilst I feel completely numb and empty but I'm not empty because the pieces of my shattered heart clang together in the pit of my stomach.

We arrive at the beach and the only thing I want to do is drink my sorrows away. I want to get flat out wasted so I don't feel anything anymore.

Pogues and kooks partying everywhere, I leave my friends and disappear into the crowds trying to find a keg.

"Yo, my girl Vanessa! You looking for a drink?" I turn to find the owner of the familiar voice.

"Barry, hey." He looks down at my empty cup and takes it from me filling it up with the keg. "Thankyou." I say as he passes me the drink back. I down it immediately and gesture for him to pour me another. I do this atleast three times and he laughs.

"Shit, V. You be crazy girl." He pours me my final drink and I decide to not down this one. "You finished?" He looks down at me holding my drink instead of downing it, his tone laced with sarcasm.

"Yeah, I think I'll go easy on this one." I blush with embarrassment at my antics.

"You just get here?"

"Yeah, can you tell?" I bite down on my lip.

"Was that you tryna catch up?" He points to my cup and the keg.

I shrug, not really knowing how else to explain why without giving him my life story. Not wanting to bore him with the subject, I settle with a different response. "Yeah, you could say that."

"You're looking very beautiful tonight, Vanessa." He compliments me so forwardly.

"Thankyou Barry, you look good too." I return the compliment, sipping my drink.

Barry's eyes look past me. "Yoo, country club!" I already know who country club is and I don't stick around long enough to see his face. Instead I weave through the crowds as fast as I can putting as much space between me and 'country club' as I can.

Scanning the bonfire for my friends, I spot JJ sat alone on a broken tree trunk.

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