Chapter 13
He was always calm.
Whenever someone is picking a fight with him, he never lose his composure. He will always stay quiet and just act like he doesn't care at all. He was always apathetic. Witnessing him losing his composure is quite fearful.
Kung nanginginig ako kanina sa galit, ngayon naman ay napalitan na ng takot. The way his jaw clenched, empathically. Halatang nanggigigil siya sa galit. I am sure now that I'm not just imagining things. Nakikita ko iyon mismo sa harap ko. Hindi siya gumagalaw at nananatiling nakatitig sa daan na tinahak ng mga manyakis.
His eyes is full of rage. He's glaring on the road like he has powers that could destroy it.
Lumunok ako at dahan-dahang inangat ang aking kanang kamay. I poked his stiff shoulder to call his attention.
"S-sahil..."
Walang pang isang segundo ay bumaling na siya sa akin. Gone the fearful gaze, it was soft now.
"Let's go." But his voice is still so cold.
Yumuko ako at bumuntonghininga. This is clearly my fault. I know to myself that I'm drunk but I still defied him. Idinaan ko pa sa kaartehan ko kaya tuloy ako nabastos. Well, I can't do anything now, it's done.
"I'm sorry-"
"Wala kang kasalanan." putol niya.
Nanatili akong nakayuko habang pinaglalaruan ang aking mga daliring namamawis. I know that his gaze is focused on me. It is gradually entering my system, causing havoc when it's already experiencing havoc.
I welcomed his eyes. "No, it's my fault! Don't try to console me, I'm aware that I'm drunk, pero pinairal ko parin ang katigasan ng ulo ko. And I got molested because of my clothes -"
"Damn it! It's not your fault Raquelle! None of it was your fault..." He sighed. "They got no brain. It's their fault. Please don't blame yourself."
"No-"
I stiffened when he grabbed my waist. I felt his nose touched the back of head. Naramdaman ko pa ang pag-amoy niya sa aking buhok kaya napapikit ako't biglang nakalimutan ang sasabihin.
"Can you just... stop drinking with your friends?" he hummed.
I nodded my head while my eyes is still closed.
Yeah. Everything for you Sahil. You don't even know that I stopped dating boys, for you. You don't need to tell me to stop drinking coz I'll definitely stop. But I like it. I like that you're forbidding me.
"I just don't want you to see me losing control. I don't want you to get scared of me..."
Damn it Sahil. I'd like to watch you lose your control. It makes me tremble yet it's making my feelings grow more. I am wanting more and more. Just let me see every side of you.
"I will not get scared of you." Maybe someday, when I finally got you. I'll surely get scared. Not of you, but losing you.
I know that I'm not entering an easy path. Alam kong mapanganib ang pinapasukan ko pero wala na akong pakialam. I will enter this damn path and let myself fall hardly. I am not sure if he'll catch me eventually, but I'll make him. I'll make sure of that.
Hinatid niya ako nang gabing iyon. He was quiet the whole time, like he was in a deep thinkings. Hindi nalang ako nagsalita at hinayaan siya. I waited for his call that night, but it didn't came. Kaya naman nang dumating ang araw ng Lunes ay agad ko siyang inabangan sa pasilyo. Wala ng pakialam kung ano ang sabihin ng mga makakakita. They will surely comment that I'm just playing with Sahil.
