Epilogue
"S-Sahil.."
I tightly closed my eyes in irritation. Naikuyom ko rin ng palihim ang aking mga palad.
"Sahil..." she tenderly called again.
I slightly pushed her away when I felt her hand trickling on my waist. Oh damn, I'm so tired with her childish games. She's persistent coz she knows I'm always going to let her.
Damn, I can't show her how infuriated I am.
Sa loob loob ko ay masyado na akong galit. I just don't wanna push it. It's nonsense. Sayang sa oras.
"Sahil, I just wanna hug you!" pilit niya.
I gritted my teeth trying to calm my nerves.
Inaalalang masyado siyang importante para kay Tita Henrietta. She's her only daughter. Tita is sick. I cannot hurt her feelings. Ang saktan ang pinakamamahal niyang anak ang matagal ko ng iniiwasang gawin.
Everyone in the family value her. They love her so much. They don't want to hear her crying. Don't want to get her hurt. Siya lang ang babae sa aming magpipinsan. Everyone is so fond of her, except me and Raven.
Raising my voice and showing her my anger won't be good for me. Mapapagalitan ako ng mga magulang ko. I'm used to it but I am actually tired listening to their litanies. Para bang isa akong batang walang isip na kailangang pagsabihan sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos. As if I'm still a boy who needs their guidance... God, I know what's right and what's wrong. Kung alam ko namang mali ba't ko gagawin?
Seriously...
"Get away from me... just please Ena." mariin kong wika. "Kapag nakita tayo ni Tita Henrietta-"
She smiled at me. Iyong ngiting hindi ko gustong makita.
"She knows that I'm fond of you..." malambing niyang wika.
Bumuntong hininga nalang ako.
"Besides... I'm not your real cousin! We're not really related."
I stiffened.
How did she know? Ang impormasyong iyon ay striktong binilin sa amin na huwag ipagsabi sa kahit kanino. Lalong-lalo na sa kaniya. Damn. Who told her?
Nagtagpo ang aking mga bagang bago umiwas ng tingin. Walang balak magsalita. I don't want to deny nor confirm it in front of her face.
It will just excite her. Ayaw ko ng makipagsabayan sa mga laro niya. Ngayong alam niya na, hindi ba dapat kina Tita siya humarap at hindi sa akin?
Damn you, Juanico. You know that she fucking likes you.
Napailing nalang ako sa narinig na bulong ng isip bago tumalikod kay Ena.
She's about to cry I know. Ayaw ko siyang tingnan kapag gano'n. It's not because I'm hurting seeing her being like that. I... pity her.
"Ampon lang ako, alam ko Sahil..." she mumbled with her weak voice.
Nakuyom kong muli ang aking mga palad.
"Puwede tayo... I can be your girlfriend -"
"Shut it, Hailena. You're talking nonsense." I answered bleakly.
She knows that I'm really bleak. It won't hurt her. But knowing her, she'll do everything to get what she wants. She rebelled against her family. Gustong malaman kung sino ang totoo niyang magulang. Tita Henrietta didn't have a choice but to tell her.
"Your mother is from El Diego..." masakit sa loob na wika ni Tita.
Everything started when she learned that her mother already has a family. She was so mad. I know what she's planning to do in the first place. Gusto niyang bumalik sa tunay niyang ina. She couldn't do that when her mother already has a... daughter.
