Chapter 4
Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses kong sinubukan siyang kausapin. But before I can unleash my words, someone is always calling me. Tila palagi akong pinipigilan sa matagal ko ng binabalak.
Sa huli ay ang pagtatapon nalang ng tingin ang tanging nagagawa ko habang nagpapahila sa aking mga kaibigan.
Sahil.. I learned that his name is Sahil.
His handsome face cannot get off of my mind. That's why I've been trying to get near him. I really wanna talk to him. I can't even play with boys now. I can't date them when I'm perplexed and definitely experiencing chaos... inside.
Ilang linggo na ang lumipas matapos iyong away na naganap sa school plaza. Ilang linggo na rin akong hindi napapakali sa aming silid-aralan o kahit na saan man akong lugar sa aming paaralan. Gusto ko siya palaging hanapin, kaso lang ay palagi na siyang nawawala.
Unlike before, I always see him passing by our classroom. I always caught him looking at me. I was annoyed at him before. Naisip kong isa rin siya sa mga lalaking gustong itapon ang kanilang sarili sa akin ngunit napagtanto kong masyado siyang malayo sa mga lalaki rito sa school.
He's quiet. Boys here are so loud. Mga mahilig magpapansin.
He's lonely. Almost all the boys here have groups. Mga mayayabang.
He's mysterious and... very handsome. Boys here are plain, no thrill and very boring.
Now, he's like an elusive wind. Hindi ko na mahagilap. Hindi ko na makita. Ngunit ang presensiya niya ay ramdam ko.
And I'm getting crazy. Kapag hindi ko pa siya nakausap ngayong araw ay talagang magwawala na ako.
I just can't ask Nova about his section. Malamang ay aasarin niya akong magbabagong buhay. She's been pushing me to talk to him before. Pinapangunahan na agad ako. I hate it. Nawawalan ako ng gana kapag gano'n. I must keep this thrill inside me. Hindi pwedeng mawalan ako ng gana kaya gagalaw akong mag-isa.
"And where are you going Ralae?" tanong sa akin ni Nova nang tumayo agad ako matapos ang aming huling klase.
I rolled my eyes at her. "I have a date."
Her left brow rised. Malamang hindi siya naniniwala. I didn't date any boys for how many weeks. Akala ata ay nagbagong buhay na talaga ako. And that's why she didn't question me. She's sometimes a bad influence but always want the good for me.
Gaya ng gusto niyang tapusin ko na ang pakikipaglaro sa mga lalaki.
"Wala akong nabalitaang may naghihintay sa'yo sa labas." aniya.
"Coz we're gonna meet outside the school property, maybe sa plaza malapit sa simbahan?"
Yeah. A good reason. But she's not gonna take it, I know. She knows that I hate crowded place.
Umirap siya sa akin. "Come on! I know you're gonna look for Sahil!"
Agad kong tinakpan ang bibig niya. This girl is really annoying!
"Shut up, Nova. You're right but shut your mouth up!"
Tinanggal niya ang nakatakip kong kamay at mahinang tumili.
"Finally! Magbabagong buhay ka na! I told you, he's your the one!"
I snarled at her statement, starting to get annoyed. Kakasabi ko palang kanina na ayaw kong inaasar ako dahil nawawalan ako ng gana!
I just don't know now. Mukhang hindi na ata iyon mangyayari. The thrill is eating me. I don't think I'll still lose my interest at him.
"Keep quiet! I'll find him! Don't tell it to others!" singhal kong muli bago lumabas sa aming classroom.
