Chapter 30
My parents never fights 'cause my Dad's patience is overflowing. He never opposed my Mom. Never hurt her. Never got mad. He just loves her very much. He loves our family so much. Tahimik lang siya pero palaging nakikinig. Umiintindi. Minamahal kami.
I love him so much for that...
Hindi ko nga rin alam kung bakit ko nagawang magrebelde sa kanila. Obviously, they're the perfect parents for me. Nagtatrabaho para sa'kin. For my future. Nagkukulang man minsan tulad noong pagkalimot nila sa aking kaarawan pero, that's just one time. The first time. Ano ba naman ang isang beses na iyon sa maraming beses nilang pagbati sa'kin?
The perfect life that I have is already too much. Bakit ba sumasakit pa ang loob ko sa isang beses na hindi pagbati sa'kin? And now we're complete. Bumabawi sila. Ano pa ba ang hihilingin ko?
Bumuntong hininga ako at tahimik silang pinagmasdan.
Malamig at madilim ang mukha ni Daddy habang si Mommy ay blangko naman.
Nasa hapag kaming tatlo. Kumakain ng dinner na hinanda ni Dad. They're both silent which is unusual. Wala akong ibang maisip na dahilan kung bakit. Did they fight? But I didn't hear some noise. And they will never fight, because they love each other... For them, fighting is nonsense and it'll just waste their time.
"Uh... who's Hailena?" Sa kagustuhan kong basagin ang katahimikan, itinanong ko iyon.
Napatigil si Daddy habang si Mommy naman ay mabilis na umiwas ng tingin. I stared at her, waiting for answer.
"Mom?"
Das cleared his throat. Tumingin ako sa kaniya at nakita ang dumaang galit sa kaniyang mga mata. I halted because of that. This is the first time I saw him getting mad. Or maybe he gets mad but he just doesn't show it to us.
"Just eat, Raquelle." he dismissed, with his angry tone.
Bumaling sa kaniya si Mommy. Malamig na ang tingin at umiiling.
"You too, Rosalie."
This is the first time he used his cold tone to Mom. Nakakapanibago. At ginamit niya iyon sa hindi ko malamang dahilan. Dahil ba sa itinanong ko? His reaction is unexplainable when he heard Mom saying Hailena's name. Sino ba siya? Bakit mukhang galit si Daddy sa kaniya? Bakit nagkakaganito ang mga magulang ko dahil sa kaniya?
Nilulukob ng kuryusidad ang isip ko. Gusto kong malaman kung sino ang babaeng iyon. Hindi kaya...
No, Daddy is very loyal. Imposibleng mambabae si Dad. He will never do that. He will never hurt us. He will never ruin our family. Then is she connected with my Mom? Ano ba siya ni Mommy?
Tula puputok na ang utak ko kakaisip kung sino ang babaeng iyon. Ni hindi ko na mapagtuunan ng pansin ang tumutunog kong cellphone sa kakaisip. At kahit hindi ako abala, hindi ko rin kayang sagutin ang tawag. I don't know. I just opened my phone to see if he's really gonna call me like what he said.
Galit ako. Sa kaniya. Pati rin sa sarili ko. I couldn't understand myself. Sabi ko dati palagi ko siyang iintindihin. That I will give him my full trust, love and understanding. Dati naman ay hindi ako nagagalit sa kaniya. Nag-uumapaw ang nararamdaman ko't palaging nilalamon ang galit. I couldn't get mad at him. Not that my feelings are now shallow, kaya ako nagagalit ngayon. It's not that.
Alam kong higit pa sa nag-uumapaw ang nararamdaman ko sa kaniya ngayon. It's beyond overflowing... I love him so much, I know.
It's just me. I'm the problem. Not my feelings. I'm the one who's shallow, not my feelings. That's why I'm mad. Sa sarili ko.
