The Inferno's Indulgence

Chapt 28

Celeste

My eyes are volatile as I stare at the man who's just confessed to me a few hours ago that he loves me. It is clear to me that he is bothered by something, but there isn't a single clue to give or take to see exactly what it is. I feel like a hopeless woman now. I trace the back of his head, his oh so beautifully brown, curly hair, and let my eyes linger down to the back of his neck. Even with a slight attitude, I still feel vulnerable to him. Even when he isn't looking my way, I still feel as if he can see me. His eyes have a way of telling, and although I can not see them, I feel the hurt and irritation they hold. He pushes my key into the front door and unlocks it. Swiftly moving to the side, he allows me inside first, so I enter, letting my purse fall from my shoulder.

With my back turned to him, I don't hear him move a muscle. The door snaps into place and the locks turn, but nothing else can be heard after that. I try to gaze my mind elsewhere. I look at the way the throw cover is splayed sloppily onto the couch, bunched up from the way it was previously used. On the walk there, I sit my purse onto the centerpiece and leisurely make my way over. I take the fluffy blanket and begin folding it, and I subtly look over my shoulder to see him moving past me. I can hear his feet now. His breath is silent, only his feet to cover the intimidating silence. I fold the cover over a half, and let that half meet the other half before I sit it down neatly and walk to my bedroom where Xyle has just gone.

He stands near the nightstand, his body up straight as he puts his cellphone on the charger. The sound of his phone hitting against the wood spooks me for only a second, but my body reacts. I push the door further and walk into the room, feeling the atmosphere change drastically.

He looks over at me but I don't look at him. I walk to the other side of the room and place my phone down onto the mattress, letting it rest there as I think of something to say to him. There were absolutely no words spoken on the way home, and that was a silence I didn't enjoy. Silence with him is always so great, but not when you know there's someone trying not to speak on purpose. I don't think of anything nice so I walk towards the dresser. I pull a drawer out and take a pair of clean underwear to wear after my shower. It's then when I remember that I need to change the sheets. When I glance over at the bed again I see Xyle sitting down. I'll change them after my shower. I take a white tank top from a different drawer and scurry off into the bathroom without a word. For the first time since we've been together, I find myself locking the door as I shower.

I feel even more vulnerable than before, and not in a way that I'm used to with Xyle. Usually when I feel vulnerable, I feel it in a way that he's forcing me to look at him when I'm being shy or wanting to hide my face. Now, I feel that I can easily be hurt because of the way he's known to react. I set the temperature to a setting just below boiling. I like my water hot, and the hot water will relax me even more. I remove all clothes from my body and tie my hair up tighter with the ribbon in my head. The moment the water hits my skin, and cascades all over me, I feel as if nothing else exists. No attitudes, no ignoring, no fears. I push myself deeper, continuing until the water takes over me completely. My shoulders can now relax, my mind can now feel at ease. I stand there for I don't know how long until l hear the sound of knuckles softly pounding against the door.

I open my eyes again and push the shower door open. The air isn't entirely fogged just yet, so I pull a towel to wrap around me, not wanting the cold air to take over me. He's quiet on the other side of the door, and when I open it, he stands there with a sorrowed look in his gray irises. His spiraling eyes as usually mesmerizing in a good way, but there is nothing good about the way he looks and seems as if he feels. They shine with a glimmering ash, and I just know behind all of that tough armor he swears by, he's hurting. But he won't talk to me about what's bothering him. He wants to keep it all to himself.