QUIRKY! Vol. 3 (MHAxReader)

S5 Part 31 - Sad Beautiful Tragic

"You and Shigaraki?"

The surprise in Hawks' voice was painful to hear. Of course, he would be. Anyone would.

It wasn't like you had to tell everyone about your sex history but this was Hawks. Regardless of how he feels after this, you were partners.

"I thought it was just Dabi..." Hawks sat upright against the headboard. "He didn't force you to do anything?"

"No..." Shockingly, the well-groomed Yakuza leader, Chisaki, had been more villainous in that regard.

Tomura never forced you.

"But he doesn't- I thought he couldn't give you energy?"

He paused. The realization set in and he sighed deeply into his hands. "Oh, kid..."

"I was using him, I guess," you said, "I'd just found out Shinso's secret, Monarch had been kidnapped, Denki kidnapped me, and then I was being hunted down by different villain gangs. Tomura was there at the end of that..."

Hawks cracked his knuckles several times, which you hadn't seen him do before. Your shame sank deeper into your gut. If Tomura hadn't been a villain, hadn't been set on killing, and was just a regular, nerdy guy, you wouldn't regret anything.

Did you even actually regret it, or did you regret it now because you loved a hero?

"Is that what this is?" Hawks asked, "Are you needing an escape from your feelings?"

You frowned. "No. Not at all."

"I slept with my share of girls to escape shit too. Just need to know what it is you want from me."

You shook your head, wanting to stop his train-wreck of thoughts. He looked at you with a cold expression. It made you want to cry but he was the one needing the reassurance right now.

You crawled over toward him but stopped just before contact. If he was really upset you didn't want to smother him. "My feelings for you aren't that shallow, Keigo... I mean you're hot but... a-anyway! Sometimes, I still don't believe that I'm here with you. There's a lot of baggage, I know, but I care about you. I care a lot. I..."

His brown eyes softened slightly. You were relieved when he reached out to you first, shifting your body into his lap. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't imagining things, or doing anything you didn't like." He was much warmer now but his brows were still furrowed. "I'm really worried, baby bird. I asked if you could turn on him and you said you could."

"I know... I don't know if I can."

Hawks' muscles tensed.

"It's hard for me to imagine hurting any of them... I mean, I do plan on giving Dabi a black eye, for reasons," you said.

He groaned as you confessed your feelings. It wasn't quite betrayal you saw cross his face. Something else was going on in that clever boy's head.

"Babe... I need you to imagine your friends for me. Shinso. Your family. Your teachers. Me. That's who will be up against Shigaraki. I don't know much about him, but whatever his story is, he'd still try and kill any one of them."

He held the side of your face in his hand. "Your heart is so big - maybe, to a fault. I don't want Shigaraki taking advantage of your empathy."

His eyes dropped to your lips but he stopped himself. "The way this works is you help me stop The League. That's what the commission expects and that's how I've been able to keep you from serious consequences. If you're asking for an out, I don't have one for you."