When I arrived at the cemetery I sat at her grave, removing my hat with respect.
Grasping the flowers I bought on my way here, I bowed and looked down to the floor.
"I'm sorry, miss. I failed you. I failed you and Kim Taehyung. I failed you, Kim Taehyung and your angel of a granddaughter. I apologise. With everything I have in me left to give."
I sat.
"The night Deiji snuck into my house while you found out you were dying. It was my fault. I apologise for that. The night she got raped. I apologise I didn't try harder to stop it. I apologise for using her pain against her tonight. I apologise for mentioning you. I apologise for being born at this point."
I chuckled at myself.
"But. I don't apologise for one thing... The night my ex girlfriend shot me. She meant to shoot Deiji. But of course I took the bullet. And I'd do it again. I'd feel every pain I felt that night a thousand times over if it means she wouldn't have to go through anything in her life... The night you told her about your cancer. When it was just us in the house and you told me you knew we'd have hardships in our future relationship. I didn't believe you. we got on like peanut butter and jelly. I remember you telling me, 'don't you dare let anything happen to my baby or I'll haunt you. protect her from all the monsters in this world.' I thought I would do that... I was so blind. the only monster I had to save her from was myself. and I failed."
I licked my lips and finally looked up at the sky. I let out a shakey breath and wiped the tears and rain from my cheeks. I patted the gravestone and left my flowers. I stood and made my way to my next destination. Kim Taehyung.
I arrived at the two houses where it all started. My shaking hand formed a fist as it knocked on the hardwood door 3 times. when the key turned in the door, I wondered.
I should leave. Nothing good will happen now. If grandma was alive, I'd be dead right now. But she's not so I got out of that one. Kim Taehyung however... is very much alive.
The doorknob turned.
for Deiji...
"Jungkook-ssi? Come on in... its raining!"
Lisa...
Hearing her voice... I don't know. It soothed me. Like a mother.
I broke down.
I collapsed on the stairs. I sat on my knees, bowing to her. She was Deiji's best friend after all... her sister-in-law.
"Jungkook..."
Still in my bow I shook my head. I wanted to speak. I wanted to scream at myself. I wanted to tell her everything I had done to her sister but I couldn't. all I could do was cry.
Wondering why her neighbours porch lights were on at 2 am, my mother came rushing out.
"Son?" she yelled. she hasn't seen me for at least 11 months. "Jungkook? Baby?"
I stood quickly. I can't face her. Not yet.
I looked at Lis. She read me like a book and pulled me in, shutting the door.
"I'll say it was Tae.." she winked. I nodded.
"Where is Kim Taehyung..." I whispered, just about squeezing my voice through my swollen vocal cords.
"In his room.." she furrowed her eyebrows. "What's with the formality?"
I walked upstairs. Knocking twice on the door.
My best friend stared straight into my swollen, tear filled eyes. I bowed. 3 times before getting back on my knees, bowing as I did to the woman downstairs.
"Jungkook, what are you doing, you silly sausage."
he grasped my arm softly and took me to his bed. I sighed and looked him in the eyes before telling him everything.
He didn't speak.he just sat, tense. I was about to stand up before he punched the side of my face.i fell to the floor. But I didn't fight back as I usually would. I took it. I deserved it. He was sat on top of me, the devil in his eyes.
I squoze my eyes shut and prayed for Deijis safety as my last breath would be taken any minute now. Expecting the last punch, it didn't come. I opened one of my eyes. through blurred vision, I saw the man ,who was once on top of me, was now stood holding his hand out for me.
I didn't take it. I stood on my own before bowing and trying to take my leave. However, my bicep got gripped, much harder than before.
I got dragged out and shoved onto the hard pavement.
"Don't you dare show your face here again. Don't ever go near my sister." Kim Taehyung growled and spat on me before closing the door and leaving me as scum on his porch.
I hate to say it... but it went better than I expected. I didn't die...
I wiped the blood from my nose and stood, using the wall to balance me as my vision came back.
I had one last stop..
