Frame Of Mind (Sapience Series #2)

Chapter 31

"You're drunk" i slightly push him but he was too strong.

"Fuck, Why did I let you leave me? " ginulo niya ang buhok niya. "I thought i can live without you"

"Shin, lasing ka" pinipilit ko siyang itulak pero hindi kaya ng lakas ko ang lakas niya. "Tatawahin ko sila aren"

"Do you still love me?" He suddenly asked that made my heart stopped.

I do, I still love him.  But I don't know, I'm afraid that I might hurt him again.  Maybe I'll be a little tired and think about leaving him again.

"Halika na, dadalhin na kita sa mga kasama mo" sabi ko sa kanya at hinawakan siya sa kanyang braso.

He laughed sarcastically. "Why do i became this fucking desperate when it comes to you" he shrugged his head.

I thought he would kiss me but he just walked away, like nothing happened. He was just drunk, i told myself countless times.

Hindi ko na kayang manatili sa lugar na ito kung nasaan siya, sinabi ko kila diane na sumama ang pakiramdam ko kaya naman umuwi na ako, alam kong hindi na nila ako kailangan dahil sila lang naman ang nageenjoy.

Hindi maalis sa isip ko ang nangyare, muli kaming nagkita tapos sasabihin niyang mahal niya pa ako. Hindi ko alam kung paniniwalaan ko ang sinasabi niya, baka nadala lang siya ng alak kaya siya naging ganon.

"Yes! Of course" Elise said happily and almost cried when Aren proposed to her, they are back together.  And it looks like he still loves Elise very much.

I amused myself again, I was also busy because I was hired by aren's architect for their house to be built.  And since I was the maid of honor at Elise's wedding, I looked for a gown that could be worn at their wedding.  because I'm too artistic so I don't like the first gown I see.

I buried the last thing that happened between Shin and me in the ground, nothing happened after that, he didn't even message me after that day, he probably realized what he did.

while doing the pictorial, my attention was turned to a man wearing a white polo shirt with half of the buttons open, and he was also adjusting its tucking in.

he's handsome in what he's wearing.  When our eyes met, he smirked and tossed his hair up.

until now it still hasn't entered my mind that my best friend is getting married, but I am aware that this thing will happen. I'm happy for her, that finally all the pain she and Aren went through ended up in love again.

I smile bitterly.

"Ready ka na ba?" I asked Elise, and she grabbed her shoulder.  I had been holding back crying, I didn't want to cry in front of all of them, i'm being so dramatic.

"Of course" she smiled widely at me.

when the wedding started, I couldn't stop the tears that fell down my cheeks when I saw Elise walking down the altar.  Why am I crying, I'm not going to be her husband.

I'm not prepared to have to message them both.  So I nervously took the mic and went in front of them.

"I'm not prepared..." i heard everyone laughed "gusto ko lang sabihin na mas nauna kong naging girl friend si elise kesa sayo" they laughed again.

"even if you are married I will stay by your side, and I promise to accompany you in every trials.  I am very happy for you, I know what you went through, I was there when you broke up with Aren, I was there when you cried.  And finally all your crying is worth it, You are going to write the next chapters to your life stories together, and i cannot wait to read them... Happy wedding day to you both" I went to Elise and hugged her, and Aren and I did a peace bump.

We will do a special number for Elise's wedding, the four of us dance and the main character is Hideo.

"Ihagis na ang bulaklak, elise!" Sigaw ni theo. Tumawa naman si elise.

I had no intention of joining because I also had no intention of getting married. but because I was forced, I didn't do anything. as they said, the only thing that will be caught is a flower and then that will be the next one to get married.

"Ready, okay. One. Two. Three" Elise threw the flower backwards. Avine got the flower, because I was just standing with my arms crossed.

"Aba aba, dapat ako muna!" Sigaw ni hideo. "Ang daya, bawal bang sumali yung lalaki jan?!" Everyone laughed at his statement.

the others returned to their seats and I went out first to get some fresh air, I realized that it's not just our bodies that should rest, but our minds as well.  Because our mind also gets tired, that's why we get drained. When our mind is drained, there is a possibility that we will also be drained physically.

it's just the hard part where you have to let go and sacrifice just to give your mind a rest, and I also realized that it is not necessary to sacrifice everything.

sacrificing is also a big decision that must be thought about first, especially in love. I was now regretting everything but all i have to do is to be happy, being alone.

I just feel every wind and let my hair blow, it's quite dark, I look at the moon that gives light to the whole place.  I feel like this day has happened.

I remembered him, I remembered that he was the one I watched the moon with, he was the one with me to get air, when I couldn't breathe anymore. He was the one who understood me even though I couldn't understand myself anymore.

why can't I see myself loving another man?  why don't I want to feel love from another man?  why is my heart always looking for his love? Everything has changed, and I'm not sure if he still loves me.

"what's on your mind" I was surprised when someone suddenly stood beside me.