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Emily's Experiment (Fallout NV Fart Story) part

Summary:

Emily Ortal discovers a new superfood from the barrel cactus plant!
But it has some severe side effects in the gastrointestinal system...

Ferocactus wislizeni. The barrel cactus of the Mojave, in the words of the ancients. (NOT those savages in Arizona.) It has existed for millions of years in the deserts of the Southwest, surviving earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and more recently, the great atomic war that destroyed the world. Versatile and hardy, the plant provided a food source for all sorts of organisms. But, what if there was something hidden deep within the genetic code, buried beneath that spiky exterior, that could be a great discovery? Perhaps an elixir of immortality, or a cure to deadly diseases. Working out of an old fort south of Vegas, a researcher in the wasteland of post-nuclear America thought they had found the mother lode of scientific wonders.

"Eureka! I-Is that how you say it?"
Emily Ortal had been working her butt off to find something valuable in the plant. At last, it seemed like she had come to a breakthrough in her research
"By isolating the specific mutations in this particular group and creating a mixture of the flower tips, the moisture and nutrient samples can be improved by 200%! The reproductive cycle can be accelerated and use a fraction of available nutrients and water..." She was nothing short of elated. The dreams of making Freeside a prosperous, independent territory were going to be a reality! If everything went according to plan... which she hoped. But before she jumped the gun she had to consult the local leader of the Followers in the area, Julie Farkas. Everything has to go by her. She knew why it was necessary, but still thought it would be busy work.

"And, Ms.Farkas, if this solution is put into widespread use- pointing at the charts she hastily prepared on a clipboard- the common people of Freeside will have much more to eat and prosper with."

"Wow, Emily. Ever since you started to work on biology here, I've been nothing but impressed with you. Keep up the good work."

"So... does that mean we can put it into general use now?"

"Not so fast. I admire your spunk, but we have to test it first."

"Well, it's just an extract from barrel cacti."

"I understand, but this wouldn't be a good precedent to set. This may be a stunning success, but later down the line..."

"Okay, okay. So, what do you want me to do?"

"Emily, I'd like for you to have someone ingest this substance and analyze the effects on their body. Once that's done, we can see about expanding the project."

"Yes ma'am!" It seemed simple enough. Now, where to find a volunteer? She wouldn't have to look far, as a grumbling in her stomach gave her a great idea. Not a long search for a guinea pig!

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Experiment log 1.
Emily Ortal, Old Mormon Fort, Followers of the Apocalypse. April 6, 2287. 8:00 A.M.

Subject(myself) will consume a half pound of the experimental substance, consisting of mutated barrel cactus extract mixed with snack cakes. And it starts... now.

Emily shook with anticipation as she raised the first Fancy Lad-cacti amalgamation to her lips. She took a bite...

Taste is extraordinarily pleasing to my nerves. Perhaps it is because of the high sugar intake or a side effect of the mutation. Proceeding to consume the rest of the test batch.

Even "extraordinarily pleasing" was an understatement. It felt like Paradise on Earth once it entered her mouth and was melted by her saliva. She couldn't stop herself from gobbling down the rest of the substance like a hungry Brahmin. Perhaps she should become a coon someday, if this is what she can make.