Dance In The Rain

~37~ Marks

I don't wait for his comforting hand to rub my back like it did Tate's. I don't wait for him to scoop me up and act like he loves me and feels bad. I don't wait for his permission to get up.

I just do

I get up and walk into Nico's room, slamming the adjoining door and locking it. I lean my back against the door and slide down it, ignoring the pain when my bottom hits the ground. I cover my mouth to muffle my cries, and close my eyes tight to force the tears back inside.

I'm not crying for him

"Annie," he says softly as he raps on the door, but I completely ignore him as I stand up and lie face-down on the bed, wishing more than anything that I was back home with Cook—He was my safe adult, and now he's dead.

I hate my new life so much

I'm not sure how much time has passed, but when the key card on the main door clicks the lock open, I hear Tate.

"If she's this upset with you, you're not going in. Stay the hell out."

"Tate, I have to check on her," I hear Holden say, and even I can hear the devastation in his voice.

Good! I hope he feels devastated, because anything that he and I were building has gotten demolished, and the only thing we have to work with is rubble from the explosion.

"You can later, but right now you're gonna go screw yourself!"

The door slams, and suddenly the bed dips and Tate has pulled me so my head is resting on his chest.

"You okay, Jules?" He begs as he hugs me tight and kisses my hair.

"I hate him," I spit, forcing the sobs back inside.

"Me too," he croons as he runs his fingers through my hair until I fall asleep.

I wake up to Holden gently shaking me. "Annie, will you go for a walk with me?"

"No," I mumble as I roll over on my side and go back to sleep, and I don't wake up again until morning.

~*~

It's been two long, excruciating days since the hurricane, and we are finally going back home. Although I'm dreading going back to normal, I'm excited to be out of the tiny hotel room.

Holden tried many times to talk to me, but every time he did I'd go in the adjoining room. I didn't want to talk to him, or look at him, or breathe the same oxygen as him.

When we finally leave, Kenna and I sit in the back while Holden drives behind Nico, and when his phone starts to ring, his voice startles me—he hasn't talked much since he spanked me.

Kenna told me last night as we were sleeping in Nico's room (Nico stayed with the boys and gave me and Kenna his room) that Holden was so upset when Tate slammed the door in his face, that he was almost about to cry.

"You know how weird it is to see a teacher almost cry?" She whispers in the darkness, and I simply stare at the ceiling, not feeling sorry for him at all.

"Hey B," Holden says as he answers the call, and although I can't hear what she's saying, Holden's voice gets even more weary.

"I know you barely got anything..I'm glad...I've been worried about the town since we left....B, you know why I left......I asked you to come and you refused, how is this my fault? We will be home in a few hours, why don't you come over tonight for dinner? Okay, then what about tomorrow?........Alright, I'll just see you when you decide you're not mad anymore."

He hangs up and grips the steering wheel tight, and Tate starts to chuckle. "She definitely has a hold of your balls pretty tight, huh?"

"Be quiet," Holden snaps, and doesn't say a word the rest of the way home.