Dance In The Rain

~15~ Rex

A bonus update, because it's the only way I can show my appreciation for all of the love you're giving this book ❤️❤️

~*~

As the sun dips lower, I know we've been sitting here for a long time.

"We should get back," I whisper as I continue resting my cheek against his shoulder.

"Not interested," he says.

I sit myself up and he looks over at me, his face a mixture of anger and pain. "I haven't even started on my homework yet and I'm starving, Tate."

He rolls his eyes as he silently stands up and takes my hand, and we walk along the boardwalk quietly.

"It's pretty here at least," I say as I see a sand dollar nestled against a paver I was about to step on. When I pick it up and turn it around in my hand, I roll my eyes.

This is just a souvenir that a tourist dropped.

I throw it back on the sand and we walk down the path that leads us to Holden's house, and Tate scoffs in disgust.

"California is pretty......"

"Yeah, but this place has a certain charm that Cali didn't have."

When we get to the house, Holden's sitting on the front porch grading papers.

He looks up when he hears us, and gives us both a sad smile. "Can we please talk?"

"You've done enough talking," Tate says dejectedly as he walks past Holden and into the house.

When his gaze turns to me, I shift uncomfortably and tuck some hair behind my ear.

"Julianne, I know you remember enough about me. I know you know that I love you and I won't hurt you....I need you......" he stops talking and bites his bottom lip.

"I know you know that I love you......" he finally whispers.

"Why did you leave?" I ask as I lean against the rotting porch railing.

He looks back up at me and his expression clouds over.

When he shrugs and looks back down, I see a young boy who is vulnerable, and hasn't gotten over the hurt of his past.

He sniffs as he stares at a weed growing through the cracks of the porch, and then blinks several times.

"Dad was such a dick to me...He was always softer to you two, but he was just so mean. I had to, Jules. He was sucking the joy out of me and I truly believed that I didn't matter. I didn't...I couldn't.....I was dying there....."

"You never even said goodbye," I say as I force my tears to stay inside.

He looks up and the pain across his face is so intense, it stuns me.

"I did...I left in the middle night, but I went into both of your rooms.....I told you goodbye, but I was a piece of shit and did it while you were sleeping...I knew I wasn't strong enough to do it while you were awake."

"Tate cried for a month after you left," I sigh as I sit next to him on the creaking swing.

He winces slightly, but remains silent as he continues to stare at the weed.

"...I did too. Cook made us pancakes with chocolate chips for two months straight to try and take our minds off of it."

He nods, and I can almost feel the devastation pulse out of him.

"I cried for months too. I had to hide the pictures I had of the two of you, because anytime I saw one it crippled me...." he says quietly.

"But you never came home," I sniff, causing him to finally look at me.

"No, I didn't. I tried to a few times, but the moment I crossed into Cali I would have a panic attack. Dad messed me up. Was he mean to you guys at all?"

"He wasn't nice, but after you left he basically did too. He only came around a few times a year."

Holden pulls me against his side and kisses the top of my head. "I've made so many mistakes, but I swear on my life that I will do right by you guys now....I promise, Julianne."

As the sun now disappears below the horizon and the day starts shifting into night, Holden's porch light flicks on, along with a bug zapper...And immediately insects start flying toward it.

As a moth gets close, I watch it fly around with the freedom to go wherever it chooses: Yet it stays here, drawn to the one thing that could kill it.

Holden didn't. Holden used his freedom to fly away.

Yet I still hate him for it.

As we sit in silence, listening to the crickets chirp and the bugs being zapped, we both ignore the threat he just laid down to me and Tate.

And the silence is deafening.

~*~

Tate is eating cold pizza when I walk in, and I take my own slice out of the box and take a bite.

"You can heat it up," Holden says softly as he watches us.

"That's an ingenious idea, Holden. Know what else makes a lot of sense? Feeding the kids you're going to beat....."

"Tate, I'm not going to beat you," Holden sighs as he takes a slice of his own and takes a bite.

Tate shakes his head in complete frustration as he eats more, and when he looks at Holden, I see the fear that he's trying to mask as anger.

This is the most emotion I've ever seen out of him. Until Friday I always saw a confident, pompous jerk...Who was sometimes nice to me.

"I'm not going to take your phone away or ground you for sneaking out, Tate. We're all trying to get to know each other...You need to know that I'm not ok with it. If you go somewhere, I need to know about it. If I tell you no, you need to respect that. If you sneak out or drink again, you will be grounded."

"It's cute that you think you can take my phone....."

"It's gonna be even cuter when I actually do it, Tate. Stop making me flex my guardian muscles. I mean, I know these big boys are impressive," he jokes as he shows off his bicep. "But seriously, please just try....Try to give me respect. Try to appreciate the few rules I have."

Tate throws the rest of his pizza in the garbage and folds his arms. "If you wanna get to know each other, then let's talk..."

Holden nods once, keeping his gaze fixed on the boy who looks so much like him, it's unnerving.

"The moment you try to flex your muscles hard enough that you think about hitting her, I'll kill you. She annoys the shit outta me, but that doesn't mean you're gonna touch her."

Holden's lips twitch and something on his face starts shining.

"I hoped you were still the amazing kid I knew back then...You've gotten a little....Rough, but you're still there, Rex."

Tate flinches and his eyes look funny.

"Don't call me that," he growls.

When Tate was little, he was obsessed with dinosaurs. He lived and breathed them...His favorite was the T-Rex, and for as long as I can remember, Holden always called him Rex.

And Tate loved it.

He never called us by our names. We were always Annie and Rex, and he always made us feel so special.

Holden simply looks at me. "Julianne, did any of my rules confuse you?"

At my shake of the head, he nods and turns to Tate. "How about you?"

"I'm not dumb, but you are if you think that you'll take my phone."

Holden nods again as he takes another piece of pizza from the box and takes a bite nonchalantly.

"So long as we're on the same page, Tate."