"New York City, the big apple, the empire state, the city so nice they named it twice, and some other slogan bullshit. The town of Broadway, Wallstreet, and loads of heinous crimes. I have called this lovely city home since I was in diapers. When I...
Awkward silence occupied the space between Matsuo and me in the dining room. The occasional clink of a utensil sounded throughout the room, but that only intensified the uncomfortable atmosphere. I constantly shifted in my seat as I solely focused on the food in front of me. The bites I took grew smaller the longer we went without speaking, I didn't have much of an appetite, to begin with, and the butterflies in my stomach didn't help a single bit. In the corner of my eye, I see Matsuo's hand as if he's trying to get my attention.
"Huh?" I lift my head, meeting his eyes.
"I asked if you like the risotto," Matsuo repeated.
"It's fine." I sit up straight pushing my food around the plate.
Another awkward and drawled-out silence fell on us once again. Of all people, this happened to me; not just this dinner but the whole scheme of things that led up until now. What did I do to deserve this? Am I cursed? My life had always been a mess, but this is a whole new level for me. Sure, the kidnapping and arrangement I can deal with, however, this candlelight dinner with Matsuo is suddenly too much.
Matsuo set down his utensils abruptly before resting both his arms on the table. There was a shift in his eyes, and then a playful smirk played across his face.
What is up with him?
"You seem on edge." He raised the wineglass to his lips.
"Well, you are acting differently than normal, so It's hard to tell what you want this time." This is my honest answer that he didn't expect.
The wineglass clinked when he placed it down, "I don't want anything, just dinner with you."
This weird unspoken thing that's hanging in the air made this dinner too much to take in. This sudden act of kindness felt like a trap, even if I hoped it was coming from a genuine place. All the other times he's done similar things, such as this, was to repay me for saving his life.
"But why?" I pushed him for an answer. "Just tell me, is it because I was kidnapped, and it was your fault?"
Matsuo didn't answer, and then it all came to me on the spot.
"What kind of backhanded apology is this, oh my God, I'm so stupid. Wow, you can go through the trouble of doing all of this," I gestured to the table as I ranted. "But can't look me in the eyes and tell me you're sorry?"
Matsuo's face goes blank, which only angers me further.
"Why are you doing this, the constant hovering, cooking, and preparing a dinner for me as if you really cared what happened to me." I watched as he lazily leaned back in his chair with his brows knitted together. "Saying I'm yours."
The last part surely got his attention even though that was meant to stay a thought and never spoken aloud.
Matsuo looked at me with a heated gaze, too unbearable for me to sit there idle and in the intensity of his eyes. I stand up, nearly knocking the table over, and begin to walk right back to my bedroom. I heard Matsuo's chair scratch against the floor as he stood up, followed by the quick pace of his footsteps. Moments before I set one foot onto the stairs, I'm grabbed by the elbow and pressed against the wall at the bottom of the stairs.
My vision blurred, and a warm pair of lips hungrily caressed mine. I stood frozen with my lips locked with Matsuo as my mind spirals out of control, driven by pure and uncapped ecstasy. He pressed closer to me, placing one of his hands on my hip, the other laced with my hair to hold my head steady. When Matsuo took charge of my body, my knees wobbled like jelly, and I had to hold on to Matsuo for support.
That only encouraged him to deepen the kiss, prodding my bottom lip with his tongue begging for entrance and in the heat of the moment I let him. I part my lips and matched Matsuo's movement. This earned a low satisfied groan from him as the excitement grew past my limit. His hands traced the length of my body in a slow and teasing way that made me yearn for him even more. Along the waistband of my pants, I could feel his fingertips testing how far they could go. Warmth quickly spread down my body as wicked thoughts clouded my better judgment. I grabbed at Matsuo's silk shirt, popping the buttons that hide his body from me. When I did, I felt him smile against my lips, but they never parted from mine.
I felt things I'd never felt before, and my body grew hotter than the sun at this very moment. Our lower halves pressed dangerously close enough to feel his lust for me. I knew what he wanted, and the fact that I knew I wanted it too scared the living shit out of me. That revelation brought me crashing back to reality.
"No," I breathe for a moment when Matsuo released my lips.
He pressed his lips back against mine, claiming them despite my protest. I move my hands up to his chest, pushing slightly to break free. My efforts did nothing to stop Matsuo's kiss, which nearly put me into a trance.
I can't let this go on.
I use all my strength to shove him away.
"No!" I run up the stairs with Matsuo hot on my heels.
Thankfully, I was a second faster than him, reaching my door and closing it before he could enter. He reached for the doorknob, but I locked it in the nic of time.
"Open the door, Alice." Matsuo sounded angry from the other side of the door.
Tears stung the corner of my eyes as I pressed my forehead against the door. All the same, I remained silent as a corpse.
"Alice open the door," Matsuo demanded once more.
"Why?" I smacked the door with my fist, wishing it was his face. "Why should I, so you can use me again, confuse me, threaten me? Give me one good reason why I should open this door!"
My cheeks burned from rage beyond belief.
What is his game? What does he want from me?
I am so tightly wound up because of him. Confusion is an understatement for how he makes me feel every time I'm even near that man. I waited, and as expected, he didn't have an answer for me, so I scoffed loudly for him to hear stepping away from the door.
"I don't want to lose you again."
Those few words manage to stop me in my tracks. It was such bullshit to hear them, but still, those words made my heart betray me. It ached painfully. Even if I feel this way, I can't let him manipulate me this way. I'm tired of this repeated behavior from Matsuo.
"Three days without you was torture and the thought of other men taking you away," he paused, letting out a breath of exhaustion. "It drove me crazy."
The silence broke out between us again, and I was left stewing in the words he spoke to me. This was all too much for me.
"Stay in there as long as you need, but I will be waiting for you when you're ready to come out."
With that, I heard the sounds of his retreating footsteps. I sat down on my bed with my face buried in the palms of my hands. Again, I was locked away in a room, wishing this was all just a dream.
Thanks for reading. 📚
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