Relationship Status: Mafia

Chapter 49

__________Matsuo POV_________

It seems like the things I've been running from have finally caught up to me after all this time. It has been some time since I left Japan, and I've forgotten about the arranged marriage plan. I was supposed to marry Nanomi before I left Japan and take her with me to America. But when the time came, Nanomi couldn't go through with it because of our differences.

"Kenji, that was rude." Nanomi swatted at her brother's arm.

"I did say I would cut straight to business." He defended innocently.

Nanomi looked between Kenji and me, "You make it sound like I'm some business deal to be made."

Right about now, I wish I had liquor in my glass that Alice took.

"Maybe this is something to discuss in private," I suggested looking over at Nanomi.

"I agree," she got up from the booth. "Since it is my life that you're trying to negotiate with brother."

Kenji stood up, allowing me to exit the booth and stand by Nanomi. She grabbed my hand and led us to the dance floor, where slow music was playing as other couples danced. This wasn't what I had in mind to discuss in private, but it will do.

"I apologize for my brother; he can be a bit abrasive." Nanomi lowered her head.

I use my hand to tilt her head up from under her chin, "It is alright. He's the same Kenji I remember from home."

Then, I placed one hand on her waist and grabbed her free hand before we slowly began to dance. I purposefully kept my back to the table because I couldn't stand to see their faces, Alice's in particular. I can't imagine what is running through her head. It seemed like she had stopped breathing when Kenji brought up the marriage. Hell, even I had a hard time breathing.

"You can't imagine how much I longed to be here," Nanomi nuzzled her cheek against my chest.

I could feel my heart squeeze painfully when she spoke. I've broken a lot of promises when it comes to her.

"I'm sorry, Nanomi, that I couldn't bring you here sooner."

She picked her head up to look at me, "Don't worry yourself over that, Toma. We both had our reasons."

"Well, it was my fault you were left in Japan."

Nanomi didn't disagree, "It's okay, I believe it worked out fine. It was my choice to stay in Japan, but I do hope you consider coming back with me."

I froze for a moment, taking in her words. The thought of going back home is a desire of mine simply because it's my birthplace, but the hurt and the scars it left outweighed that desire. My father resides there, and that already is a good enough reason to never go back.

"There is no place for me there anymore," I answered while continuing to dance with Nanomi.

I can hear her faintly sigh, "It's amazing what you have done here, so I understand why you don't want to leave it behind."

"Then stay." I gaze down at Nanomi.

To my surprise, she laughed at me as if I had spewed out nonsense. However I was very serious.

"Where would I stay, Toma? With you?" She looked away for a brief moment. "Even you know I can't do that, and it's why we never worked out in the first place. We have two very different futures set for ourselves, but if you come back home-

"Nanomi," I cut her off and took a deep breath. "I can't go back; I am not the man you knew before. I've changed."

Nanomi was my best friend growing up since our families worked closely together. We were children when we met, and grew up together, including Kenji. We faced hard, uncertain, and testing times together. Naturally, I thought Nanomi and I would end up married because of our families' connections. But as we got older, I followed more in my father's footsteps and away from the privilege of loving someone. I had my ideas of leaving Japan and everything behind, whereas Nanomi had ideas of remaining behind and conforming to her family.

"I know, Toma, I can see it. You finally look like your old self, the boy I used to see smiling all the time." Nanomi turned as we danced, stepping out and then back into the hold.

I was shocked by what she said. For so long, I have been bitter and cold that I didn't think it was possible to even touch the old me from long ago.

"You've hardly been here. How can you say that?" I peer down at her seeking an answer.

"Because I know things," She giggled. "Also, because of her."

Somehow, Nanomi has managed to spin us to face the table where the others remain sitting. My eyes immediately land on Alice, who seems to be smiling and chatting with Kenji.

"I don't know what you mean," I said as my eyes remained on Alice.

"Toma, you may have changed, but I do know you have a hard time letting people in. You're comfortable with her, I can see it, and I'm glad you finally opened your heart again."

A strangled chuckle slipped out when she spoke. It is very hard to believe I opened my heart to anyone. Even though I think this, my heart constricts when I make eye contact with Alice, and it scares me.

Shit.

"I think you're mistaken on that Nanomi." I try to recover and mask my frazzled nerves.

She laughed, "You always had a hard time accepting your feelings, and I think played a part in separating us."

My chest ached with pain when I remembered the last thing I said to Nanomi right before I left home. I told her there was nothing she could do to change me; I didn't care enough to change for her either. My feelings have been buried so deep that when they surface, I can't even recognize them now, and it is mentally draining to sort through.

"Nanomi, if I married you, would you be happy?" I asked and took her by surprise.

She seemed to think about the idea and took her bottom lip in between her teeth.

"I would feel safe with you, Toma."

"But would you be happy with me, could you love me as I am now as you did before?"

My words are left hanging in the air, lasting for a moment as Nanomi considered what we would be getting into.

"No, Toma. We can't even convince each other to stay." She sighed. "But we don't have to be happy to be married."

I stopped our dancing to peer down at Nanomi on the verge of tears. I knew her for being resilient and strong, but this sounded almost as if she was desperate. I feared that there was something else going on.

"Nanomi, listen to yourself. Your happiness should mean more than some arranged marriage to me. Why are you talking like this?"

Then, tears broke free, and she started to sob. She used a hand to cover her face and raced off of the dance floor, leaving a trail of tears in her tracks. I watched as Nanomi dashed out of the lounge and disappeared down the hall. Then I heard a ruckus coming from the table along with the sound of glass shattering, followed by footsteps.

Kenji had sprung up and stomped over to me with rage, "What did you say to my sister?"

He growled as he got face-to-face with me and bumped our chest. I held my ground because if I ignited his anger, it would be chaos. Kenji looked in the direction Nanomi left, then back at me and pointed a finger in my face.

"I'm not done with you. After I check on Nanomi, you will answer to me."

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