WE ARE ALL GUILTY : Maybe Even You Are?

14) First choice

I am officially hanging between what seems like two dead ends. This was my first thought when I looked at Dominique. I came home and took up some books to read, solely with the motive of distracting myself not to read it. But once I kept it, I realized that it's true. I don't know what I want, I never knew or know what I wanted or want. I'm just trouble, and a wreck, a mess. Nothing more. Being the younger one and having a sister who does well in everything, my parents have treated me the same way and seen me like a copy of my sibling. But the thing is, no matter how many common traits or features we have, we are different people. Extremely different. But I don't exactly blame them, I pity them. Cause they never meant harm but yet a lot of it was done. All of these intense emotions and feelings leave me feeling with a sense of pressure, misunderstanding and a lot more. But none of it is good. Sometimes I even cry and I think I would've this time. But thankfully the bell rang and Ace stood there. Time passes, not heals.
"Hey, you", he said cheering me up. "Looks like you've been going through hell, what's with the glowing eyes and lazy style? Or wait, are they watery"
"Nah nothing like that. Tell me, what do we do now?", I turned away after that.
"How does....tuna melt sandwhiches sound", he offered after opening the fridge
"Too good", I smiled.
He quickly grabbee everything we'd need for making it and started off. But only this time I didn't look at him amd think how I wanna get lost in him forever, it was a choice. And I kept thinking of the other option. Am I cruel to think of them as options? But it's just easier for my chaotic self to make the choice. Suddenly I was snapped out of the many thoughts of mine when Ace clapped in front me. His voice was concerned but flirty as he spoke, "If you want me so badly, then you could've just told me to keep these sandwhiches aside"
I laughed at that, but did not answer him. Get it? Did not answer him. He then told me how to make but couldn't show cause he had already made them. After I finally managed to concentrate, I said "Got it"
"You better have. Cause I'm about to choke myself on these"
"You're such a pig. Yet dont look like it", I commented as he took such a big bite that he almost could've put the whole sandwich in
Once he had chewed it enough to answer, "I look handsome don't I?"
"Um....."
"Don't disappoi-"
"Hot but n-"
"Holy shit you need air conditioning just for saying that. I mean come on"
"No!"
"I'm just, irresistible!?". Then we both started laughing even more till I finally said, "Hmmm" while nodding. Things were quite in that moment or two till Ace said again and we started laughing like crazy, "Oh god I'm the god!". When we finally stopped, we were staring at eachother again. But then I remembered D and broke eye contact with the excuse , "let's go for a walk". He nodded while still staring at me. We both put on our jacket and shoes and rushed out. It wasn't exactly hot outside but it was sunny. The walk was quite, a bit awkward but that couldn't bother since all I thought of were my 'options'. We walked down the street to the store and went in to buy some chocolates and red bull. We both bought one red bull each which we had while making our way up. It has been an exhausting few days. For me, atleast and D too. When we finally reached to my house, I looked back to find him still or atleast already looking at me. "Well um...bye. I can't do it tomorrow so..."
"See you on thursday". Then he left. He turned back and got in his car. He had made his way till the very end of the street that my eyes could see and that's when I realized. I realized how much I wanted to run, run to the guy who left. And might be has never been someone's first choice. Might be he's always only been the one to be cheated on for. But this time it'll change, and I'll change it. I choose him. He is my first choice.