WE ARE ALL GUILTY : Maybe Even You Are?

38) Flowers and humans and death

Rhyss
I went into my room with my head filled with a thousand questions. Just like my present which was no more filled with a thousand rays of sunshine. It was filled with a night sky but no moon, no stars. A large sea, no fish, no plant, no life.

Because what just happened? H-How did it happen? Why did I let it? Is it real? Am I dreaming? Where are the answers? Where is my life?! My very normal life not filled with the worst truths about every person I care about. Or, just am supposed to?

The life before Lilie died? The one before my 'head overflowing with music lyrics' nights got replaced into 'guilt pouring into my blood' nights? The one where assuming the best of every situation was normal but it's now not?

I locked the door shut and slid down the door. I just saw the second most important and supposed to be first man in my life get killed in the hands of my own love. And I just sat there. With a crying woman in my arms while I felt.....happy. I felt.....satisfied and.......it felt like the right thing to do. Seriously, killing somebody. Killing your own dad. Is....right?

My body hit the floor. My heart hit the rock bottom. A tear rolled down finally, followed by an army of millions. I sat in the same position. Feeling the coldness in my blood, the vacantness that is filling my heart now and the absolute agreement in my head saying "We did right. He deserved it". But come to think of it. How can a daughter agree to killing her own father? Cause if I heard this story then I would've thought the girl was insane.

And that's when I realized one thing. Something in me is broken. Damaged. Not working. Not right. My heart, is falling. But where the hell do I even stop? Or do I just let go of my heart like my tears?

Down

Down

Down.........

While my heart screamed "Hold on. It's never over. Think about Ace. His voice, his good. Not the bad, Rhyss. Hold. On". But from my own head came the most deadly answer. But just what I needed. "It'll be right. We deserve this"

Like I said in the very beginning. Everything has it's pros and cons. It all depends on which one you take more often. And this time I think I took the pros. This time I chose my head, not heart. This time, I chose death. This time, I chose it to be mine. And this time, I chose an overdose of sleeping pills. And the cherry on the cake is to be under water. In my tub.  Because in water as cold as my blood, I'll be home.

_____________________________

Ace
I-I've done it. I've brought her justice. Might be I should've done this sooner. Atleast some bad deeds would be off my plate. But either ways, Rhyss will be no more in my life. Not after I've killed her father as well. And no matter how much the guy deserved it, killing him was not in my hands.

I climbed the stairs, the knife still in my hands, as the thoughts filled my head. But fear ia what filled my veins when I saw Rhyss's door closed. I never like closed doors. You never know what's happening behind. I tried to open it. As soon as I did that, I noticed she wasn't there.

I closed the door behind me and knocked on the bathroom door now. "Rhyss, what are you doing?". No answer.
"Rhyss, open the door. Please". No answer. My voice started shaking. "Rh-Rhyss! Hey, open up. I promise it'll be fine, we've got it covered". I sank down with my hands still on the door. Soon, I tried to peek in through the gap between the door base and the floor.

And that's when I saw something slowly making it's towards me. Not feet, something clear. And when it did come out the gap, It was water. Water which was overflowing definitely from the tub or else how the hell will it? Wait, is Rhyss in the tub?.......Shit

I opened the door which was open all along but I thought of giving her some privacy to deal with what had just happened. When I could not see in there either, I walked forward a bit more. Slowly making my way towards the tub. The tub in which she lay. Underwater, not breathing, but so at peace. No. No, no, no, no!

I took her head out of the water. I tried every possible way I could think of to put air back inside her lungs. But I couldn't. I couldn't save her. Oh but in a way, you did kill her. But also because one can't keep a damaged soul alive. It is broken, babe. It is meant to not stay. And keeping it, will only be denying it it's freedom

I opened my eyes while our foreheads still touched eachother and I realized it werent tears rolling down her cheeks. It was just the water she voluntarily drowned herself in. The water that you can as well say, took her life. Or perhaps,water is which lay my heart, now dead, and shattered from the very deep ends of her core and up.

And although I don't know why she did what she did, or might be I just chose to ignore the reasons, ignore me. But I'll give one thing away. A flower doesn't even know that it is supposed to die. Supposed to lose it's beauty, vigour, life or, itself. Something else surely kills it. Be it it's age if it is lucky. Or it just ends up being the prey of some disease. Or some organism that kills it. And that is how we all die.

Infact, one day you'll die and I hope you are lucky. I hope that your past doesn't haunt. I hope you don't hurt the only one who cared for you, and you cared for them. I hope you don't kill the one who loves you not when your petals are red, not when you are at your best, not when you are perfect.

But when you are just ashes rising like a phoenix, when you are just an ordinary bud like everybody else and are still waiting to bloom. But they see through that. They see not what you are, but what you can become. Because that one person will be the one piece of the puzzle among millions which won't be perfect, it'll be worthless. But when you both will come together, that will be when normal white light will disperse into a band of colours, a spectacle to admire.

But rainbows don't last. They go away when the rain ends, they go away when the storm has settled. And just like that, some of us go away when the pain is intolerable,when the guilt is immeasurable. And when you have already drowned into a pool of pity and disgust for yourself, what the hell is water? Infact, what the hell is some blood to lose when there is nothing in you anymore to pump it?