❛. 𝑩𝑳𝑶𝑵𝑫𝑰𝑬 ⸻ ᴅ. ꜱᴡɪɴɢ . ❜

𓈈▮Sadness. Just sadness▮

No placement
NOT EDITED

A night alone in the studio was all I needed. No suge, No vanity, no charity, no devante, just me, myself and I. That's all I had and that was all I needed. No stress, no expectations. The whole week I had been sad. No one noticed and I was okay with that. I didn't want to explain why I was sad or going through the things that I was going through. The only thing I wanted to do is move on and do other things. I wrote the whole week to keep myself in a holt, writing love songs, writing sad ones, writing everything I just needed to get stored out of my system. Devante had created a track that we hadn't used. It was down the lines of our songs but still, the whole mood of it really brought to my attention what should have for it.

It didn't match our theme. But I was sure of only working on the song once to blow off some steam. If I could I wouldn't even consider it on the album assuming because it was so personal to me itself.

"You don't appreciate the time I put into this love affair oh no baby. I couldn't let you walk around thinking it was alright to let me down. I remember the way you used to love me. Baby, I remember the way. "

"I gave you all my precious love And anything you wanted from me You didn't hear me calling out Calling for your warm affection after all this time." I sang into the microphone as I just took in the words. I was reading everything I was writing and constantly pressed myself to not mess up on this one recording. I practice before it started but I didn't expect the words to actually be good.

"You can't deny what I'm feeling is real
And I stood around, stood by your side
Went through all the hurt and pain
And you turned and walked away."

"I remember the way, you used to love me I remember the days, you used to love me."

Can't give up on the way you used to give it to me Give it to me
What a feeling it's for real

"I remember the way, you used to love me I remember the days, you used to love me." Soon when I got to this part I felt that I was putting my all into it. Closing my eyes I lost focus on keeping my eyes on the lyric sheet. I didn't need the sheet. From my soul, I presented all that I could. With rhythm, every soothing hum it just came off natural and I was suprise that my small voice could handle producing that small pressure. Soon as I went from the chorus again, I felt sadness. The words were my words and that's why I was feeling sad. Sadness from how I was being treated.

Suge might not make me feel like this. But I've always felt this way. I was more in denial about it. One minute I would think he did nothing and another I would disagree and wake myself up from being so trapped in love. I couldn't base this song on any other relationship I had because Suge was my first, my first everything. If I was so-called the girl who was preferred by most man I would think what people would say is wrong. I wasn't so preferred to men. Shit if they could they wouldn't even try it.