❛. 𝑩𝑳𝑶𝑵𝑫𝑰𝑬 ⸻ ᴅ. ꜱᴡɪɴɢ . ❜

𓈈▮Devante...Devante...him▮

No placement
NOT EDITED

I took in a breath as I waited on the toilet. I sat there with anxiety hanging from my body. So much that I thought I was going to pass out. I was always wanted to be a mother. I loved children with all I had. I truly wanted one but not with Devante and not when I wasn't married. Babies were a controversial topic. Protection was too and somehow my mother bothers not telling me of it. I barely knew what sex was until I was eighteen and that was by witnessing it. Masturbation I never did because just like sex I knew nothing about it. In the same way, I didn't know about a lot of things until I really grew up.

Babies were the most precious thing in the world to me. I never had a disliking to them one bit. But right now. Even so, if this pregnancy test did come back positive I would be ready, ready for an ass beating by suge and my career to basically be on hold. I wouldn't care too much about it all. The only thing though that would matter is me and this baby if I was carrying. I would put anything and everything last and it is the only thing I care about. No matter if it was Devante's or not. But at this moment I prayed that god didn't do this to me. That he didn't punish this baby or me for the shit I could have stopped.

I took a breath before I went and looked at the test. One line is what I saw and it freaked me out but when I looked to the side and read the meaning of it. In all it meant negative. It was relief that filled my body making me unlatch my fear of my suge who could have possibly killed me if he knew. But a part of me was disappointed and I couldn't understand.

"Baby you in there?" Suge knocked on the door making me drop the taste in my hands. I started shaking uncontrollably before I did give him an answer. "Yeah uhh. I'm about to take a shower, I'll be out in a minute."

"Shit let me join." He said as his voice got excited. Suge turn the handle quickly ranging it as he was trying to get to me. "Not right now love. I'm not feeling well."

What the fuck do you mean. Are you sick? if you are sick why are you taking a shower."

"Because I feel dirty. That's why." I said the last part of my sentence a little lower. "Seren..."

"Yes, baby?" I asked as I began to sigh under my breath. "Open the door."

"Suge I don't feel good."

"What's wrong?"

"It's just my period acting up. I'm taking a shower because the cramps go away easier. Seriously." I excused making him sigh on the other end. When I heard his footsteps go away, I didn't say anything, I just sat on the toilet and soon enough began to cry. I didn't know why I started crying but didn't know why I started doing that, in my heart, I just felt so sad. So miserable, untamed. Not because the test said negative but because I cheated. It wasn't like me, I would never hurt someone I loved.