Once there was a girl with a smile.
Once there was a girl who knew nothing vile.
Once there was a girl who cast light,
For every being around her she fought for what was right.
Give a smile so they can smile too,
For them, steal the laughs that belong to you.
Once there was a girl everyone admired
In her soul every flicker of light was like a fire
They didn't know at night it would turn to ash
And nor was she a phoenix, so every wound was like a gash
No amount of love would stitch it together
For she had so much to give, but there was nothing for her.
Once there was a girl who would skip in the streets
With every bit of purity in the world, she keeps
Her secrets her own because she doesn't want to hurt others.
Shadows in the dark corners of her room, her mother
Doesn't know about them either,
She plans on hiding them away forever.
Once there was a girl who fed on applause
She lived for those who didn't point out her flaws.
She worked to impress, she lived to satisfy.
Put on a nice dress, a nice girl to the eye.
Sunshine all day, expose the light,
Do not show what resides in your endless fright.
But behind this cascade of brightness
There was a girl, who tried not to confess
All that was hiding behind her rusting covers.
All the demons that fought against her
Were more than she could ever bear
She concealed them fearing her skin would bare.
Once there was a girl who grew up with a belief
That she needed to be good. She never knew relief,
Haunting nightmares in restless sleep,
She never knew of a smile she was allowed to keep.
Behind everything, was a girl that felt so alone.
It was so strong it became a feeling anchored to her bone.
They say home is where the heart
Is, but for her home was found within hurt.
The feeling of a languished pain,
A familiarity in the ample ache. It was all vain,
But at least it made her feel something.
It made her feel human.
Everyone told her it would be okay
And with time every wrinkle would go away.
But what if it wasn't true?
Because of course she wanted to be something too,
But she never found the courage to admit
That she was hurting, and that her light had a limit.
She found it hard to tolerate who she was.
She was tired of looking at her flaws,
In the mirror she only saw the cracks of dry skin
From every unshed tear that wished to seep from within.
She was exhausted from trying to be
The girl that everyone wanted her to be.
She found it hard to keep trying,
She was so tired of fighting.
She wanted to give in,
Tell everyone that nothing was worth the win.
Because every day she collapsed on her bed
Pushing all the demonic thoughts away from her head.
And when she came back to school,
Everyone told her to keep acting cool.
Be okay for them.
Be all right for them.
But when she let the vulnerability show
She was labeled as weak, just when she was low.
They accused her of losing herself.
They shamed the pain itself.
They shook their heads not knowing all the tears spent.
They asked her where the old her went.
The one that followed rules.
The one that wore smiles like jewels.
And to that, she apologised.
She apologised for what they despised.
Sorry that I wasn't okay.
Sorry that I wasn't doing well right away.
Sorry that I took some time for the vain healing.
Sorry that I wasn't smiling while I was dying.
There came a point where she couldn't see the point.
She was trying. But she was failing.
There came a time where she couldn't see time fly.
She was fighting. But she was losing.
There came a moment where moments weren't hers anymore.
She was existing. But she wasn't living.
YOU ARE READING
Poems of Pain and Solitude
PoetryFor every person out there that was quiet, not because they chose to be so, but because they were choking in the smoke. Because their opinions were apparently not worth anything. Because they didn't know just how to say what they felt. For every per...
