You promised || DREAMNOTFOUND

SEXAGINTA UNUM

As i pulled up to phil, dropping the cargo door, i saw people start to emerge from the hanger, with their bags.

"Wheels up in ten" i said through the intercom, it echoing outside and into the hanger.

phil nodded slowly with a slim smile on his face.

me and nick stepped out of the control room, taking our bags from the seats and putting them in the control room with us.

I stood with my arms crossed on the cargo bay door as people began flooding inside with various things.

phil began approaching me and my heart started to race, my nerve coming up my throat making it dryer than a desert.

"hey phil" i said calmly as he got closer

"don't hey phil me" he scoffed and stood next to me

he was angry i could tell. Phil doesn't get angry, he gets pissed off, or frustrated but never angry.

When someone is angry they have bad thoughts, they think about doing things such as hurting someone or something, wishing something bad upon someone.
And in this moment i didn't know what phil wished upon me.

He wasn't a violent person, even for someone who literally ran an assassin group, the only time any of us have ever seen him show violence was the time his daughter was in danger. He wouldn't have done that for anyone else.

i flashed myself out of the daze, a blanket of mixed emotions left on my face.

i was scared, i was worried, i didn't know what he was going to do.

"um" i said not knowing what to say, my throat so dry i was surprised i even spat that out

"why did you nearly cut a guys leg off" he sighed and held the bridge of his nose, his body posture already exhausted even though it's barley 10am

"he tried to mug me" i said nervously, my voice barley croaking from my mouth, it coming out as shaken and nervous.

"that doesn't mean you slice his leg open" he dropped his arms and turned to face me, causing me to turn as well.

He looked like a father out of options. Like he had given me every way out of a punishment and i ruined every possibility. He showed remorse on his face, he did look sorry i won't deny that, but his face was almost red with that boiling anger he couldn't express on me. That very, very rare emotion he ever felt, Where your stomach gets achy and your palms get sweaty, where it feels like your bloods boiling from the inside out, where you can't stop moving your hands and you feel the need, the urge, the hunger to punch someone, to injure someone. And when you can't hurt someone you hurt yourself, whether it's pinching your palm or ripping your hair out. That anger has to go somewhere or else it will simmer over and you will begin to feel guilt, you will feel remorse, almost for yourself, because you feel sorry that you where angry. That you wanted to hurt someone. But phil never felt remorse, he never felt angry. This was all new to the both of us.

i looked up from my hands with my eyes threatening to gloss over, threatening to show any fear to him.

"you know me better than anyone i wasn't going to let him walk away fine" i spat out, it coming off more as a fact than a statement. I couldn't get sassy with him, i couldn't use the words i wished to use. Because he controlled everything, he was the reason i was still alive and he's the reason i'm who i am today.

"as i do, but you cannot go around risking everything we stand for, all because you got your pride so far up your ass you missed the badge on that guys belt" his words, he didn't yell at me but it wasn't a simple conversation either.

My mind froze, all those swirling angry thoughts killed themselves in the moment, scared of what i might do or think. I clenched my fists and kept my arms crossed, hiding that hid words got to me.

His voice was raging through his body, his temper losing itself as he realized i had sliced a cops leg. He seemed so angry, So lost, i didn't blame him either. I mean tell me, if your adopted kid just risked your entire blood family's legacy, let alone lives, wouldn't you be angry? wouldn't you want to hurt him?

i didn't respond, my face must have said it all because he just sighed and walked away. He completely ignored any of my attempts to talk to him. i felt bad i did, But i defended myself. And that's on me for missing the badge.

"the hell was that about" nick came up behind me and we stared at phil as he angrily walked back towards the cars. his legs swaying in the slightly windy December breeze.

"that guy who tried mugging me." i said, pausing before beginning again. Taking in a deep breathe that i didn't know i needed.

"he was an undercover" my words slipped my tongue and i turned around, going directly for the control room once more.

"How did you miss that" nick wasn't mad at me nor was he arguing, he just seemed genuinely curious, the emotions i wish phil would have showed me.

"i- i don't know" i threw my arms in the air and just sat with my ass posture in the pilot seat, my eyes where glossed over.

i wasn't sad, i wasn't angry, this is something entirely new. Growing up i missed the whole prenatal thing, i never experienced anything a parent should be there for their kids with, But with phil, he was. And this new emotion, this pit in the bottom of my stomach, my face that feels like it's burning up, my heart feels like it dropped to the bottom of my stomach. Into that deep pit, that deep pit of disparity, of disappointment. Phil was disappointed in me. And this emotion is something i crave to never feel again.

i kept thinking back to the mugging, How the Hell did i miss a badge. That's the one thing we don't do, kill innocent people. And because i missed that badge, i went against that. I went against everything this family stands for, all because i couldn't see through the impeccable timing. The timing of after me and george met the cops they ran. The timing of me and george ran through the alley way, and he fell. The timing of a mugger being directly around the corner. The timing of that mugger being a cop.

My stomach felt like it swirled with hurricanes worth of emotion, my face felt warm and my legs felt motionless, cool and clammy. My throat was to dry to swallow, My brain was frozen in time as i felt someone's hand on my shoulder. That fresh cinnamon vanilla scent, the one that comforted me along with the smell of rain.

The hand shook my shoulder, i felt the sound waves of words being thrown at me, being shouted at me. Someone was talking to me but i couldn't hear them, my heart was pounding so loudly that it echoed in my head. I felt my brain pulsing, Booming to my heartbeat. My head was spinning. my vision spotty and swirling.

my vision was blacking out, going blurry. I saw all the bright colors of buttons in front of me, just flashing helplessly. The seat i sat in began to feel like clouds, like i was slipping through it into an empty abyss.

my nose felt warm, my hand slowly reaching up to feel the warm red liquid dripping from my body. My arm was weak, it took every muscle in my body just to lift it up.

i saw the blood on my finger, my eyes going wide But i couldn't see, there was a film over them, like someone was holdings stained glass in front of my face.

I attempted to wipe the blood from my nose, but my arm was to weak, it was cold, i felt my body begin to shiver but sweat dripped down my temples.

All the thoughts, the blankness, the blood, the anger, the guilt, my vision, my hearing, the nausea, Everything stoped in seconds. And i couldn't see anything. I was left alone in my head while my body was done fighting.

1505 words

OKAY.

"like this chapter shows they aren't perfect and they still have feelings even though they are considered 'heartless', it shows phil cares about him and his safety but still treats him like his own even though he isn't and i think dreams walls kinda breaking down for the first time shows that he isn't as tough as he seems and even though he acts perfectly fine he still isn't perfect on the inside"
-Juice